That essay on noncon/consent play
Where did my Monday go? Oh, right, it disappeared into 5,300 words of consent play essay. Whoops.
It went up on
kink_bingo this morning here as part of the ramp-up to the next round (which starts tomorrow, plug plug) and has already generated some wonderfully thought-provoking comments that I need to try to respond to intelligently.
For my own OCD archiving needs and for the sake of anyone who might not like reading or commenting on Dreamwidth, the essay is reposted in its entirety below. Hope you like it. *insert noncon joke here*
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Force Me, Please: On Noncon and Noncon Play in Fanfic
This is an essay about nonconsensual sex (noncon) and noncon roleplay in fanfic, why I love them, why they may work for other people, and how approximately one zillion kinks complement them. With 45 recs sprinkled throughout.
A bit about where I'm coming from
When the Kink Bingo mods put out the call for ramp-up meta, I immediately volunteered to write about consent play. See, I glomp on to stories that have noncon warnings or noncon roleplay scenes. I will soldier on through terrible, terrible stories if I am promised such a scene. I search for noncon in fandoms I don't know (and in films and such, but that's another discussion). I am the sicko who rents The Last House on the Left because I want to watch the rape scene. I like my porn stars tied up and teary-eyed.
Here we get a little into TMI territory. I've loved noncon and have had rape fantasies since as far back as I can remember. We're talking about feeling aroused-or whatever you can call arousal when you're a proto-sexual child-watching Care Bears and My Little Ponies (go to 6:10) trapped on conveyor belts, watching Donald Duck getting stripped for an exam (go to 3:30), tying up Barbies naked and constructing elaborate abduction scenarios with Legos. Sex didn't really excite me unless there was some element of threat or force. (Witness also the genesis of my preferences for bondage, exposure and medical kink, heh.)
Liking fictional rape was a huge source of confusion and shame for me growing up. My friends made grossed-out or disturbed faces when I talked about who I thought were sexy, sexually threatening villains in movies or showed them Mary Sue scenes I'd written. I would blush when something noncon-y occurred in a movie or TV show that I was watching with my parents; it took me years to figure out that that was because I thought they'd know I was turned on by it. It didn't even have to be an out-and-out rape scene. Because, honestly! The Emperor zapping Luke Skywalker until he writhed on the ground! Gul Madred stripping and suspending Captain Picard! Gary Oldman stroking terrified girls' faces in Air Force One and The Professional! The beginning of just about every Law & Order: SVU episode! *shivers with joy* No one I knew shared my predilections, so I learned to keep quiet about them.
Then the Internet and fandom happened. There was noncon everywhere, expansions of some of the scenes and relationships I'd loved and them some. Other people liked noncon too, and they weren't ashamed. Soon I stopped being ashamed and started celebrating it. Now I'm writing an essay about it for an audience of people who might also like it or be curious about it.
So that's pretty awesome.
I'm a cisgendered female, and I should say that I have not experienced rape in real life. Note that that's not an obvious statement. There are of course people who've experienced sexual assault who can't abide noncon-themed stories because of that, which is why trigger warnings and content notes are so important. But there are also some people who have been sexually assaulted or abused and who do read and/or write noncon or noncon roleplay fic. For at least one of them whom I know, it's a source of catharsis. It varies, is the point.
So that's a bit of where I'm coming from, and as noted above, I thought it would be interesting to try to explain why noncon and noncon play appeal to me. Back in December during the Bingo mini-challenge, an anonymous commenter asked if someone would write an essay about consent play similar to the one about erotic humiliation. It's been kicking around in my head to do this ever since. I don't know that I can approach the insight and intelligence of the humiliation essay, but I hope this is still illuminating.
What this essay will not cover
A note before we start. I will not be talking about:
Also, for space reasons and because of the nature of this essay, I'm not going to give individual warnings or content notes for each rec. You can safely assume that each one contains consent issues, and please heed the original authors' warnings. I'm happy to give more details on anything in comments.
On the difference between fantasy and reality; ethical dilemmas; freedom of kink
Let's put it simply: Rape is bad. Noncon-fictionalized rape-can be hot.
The reverse is true as well: The fantasy can be hot, but the reality is not. A fanwork creator or a character who has a noncon fantasy almost certainly does not want to experience, perform or witness rape in real life. (I say "almost" only because there's the gray area of characters who decline safewords and so forth; we'll get to that in a minute.) There was a conversation at the end of the SGA episode "Travelers" where Sheppard, who'd just been kidnapped by a woman in leather, tried to explain this concept to McKay, who was complaining that he never got to be abducted by "the sexy alien." A nicely illustrative kink meme fill by friendshipper followed wherein Rodney discovers that imagining being forced is not at all like actually being forced.
On a meta level, noncon and noncon play is tricky, messy stuff. We're talking about readers and writers getting off on other people's (characters') anguish. There are those who say that is wrong. There are those who say that is damaging. There are those who argue that enjoying noncon is anti-feminist or misogynist because it often depicts and therefore perpetuates the victimization of women. They say it is even worse that it's usually women who are writing the fic, perpetuating the victimization of themselves. (Unless you're writing about male/male homosexual assault or female-on-male aggression. Indeed, being able to write about rape without having to depict a woman/girl being assaulted by a man is why some people explore such alternatives. Similar rationale for revenge stories.)
I don't have easy answers. I can say that getting off on a fictional character being raped is hugely different from getting off on an actual person being raped. This is true whether you identify with the aggressor or the victim. I can say that wanting to perform play-rape is nowhere near the same as wanting to rape or be raped. The bottom line for me is to be accepting of people's kinks, so that just as we are sensitive to people who have triggers, we should be sensitive to people who think noncon is sexy, even if we don't think so ourselves.
The good news is, you can explore any and all of these questions within the fic itself. I've read some fabulous stories where characters struggle with their own noncon desires, such as perfect in a sickening sort of way by perdiccas (Star Trek: Reboot RPS; locked to AO3 members, but worth joining to read, seriously), which is extra-special neat because it takes the POV of the character who wants to dominate. Or, if you interpret them as metacommentary on having voyeuristic rape fantasies, stories where one character grapples with having partly enjoyed witnessing another character's noncon experience (shaenie's Indelible, which is worth reading for many reasons, and toft's Fix, also fab though darker).
Making distinctions: noncon vs. play, and all the shades of gray
Just to be sure we're all on the same page. When I talk about noncon, I mean a character is forced to perform one or more sexual acts against their will.
Some examples from SGA:
When I talk about noncon play, I mean two or more characters consensually deciding to simulate rape. There is typically discussion, negotiation and a safeword chosen so that the "attacker" and the "victim" can stop the scene at any point. This is the acting out of a rape fantasy with a trusted partner in a safe environment. Nothing is meant to happen that both parties don't want to happen, even though the character playing the victim may struggle or say "no" during the scene (hence the safeword; unless they decide that a "no" or other such signal will also stop the scene, or unless a character simply gets too distressed to continue, and I'll stop listing scenarios now). The scene could happen right after the discussion, at an appointed time or at an unspecified/surprise time.
Some examples:
Of course, not everything under the umbrella of "consent play" is so easily categorized.
There's dubious consent, where it's not clear to the reader and/or one or more characters whether consent is given or can truly be given. Maybe one or both want to, maybe they don't. Maybe they get together afterwards, maybe they don't. Here's where we get into chemicals (alcohol, drugs, aphrodisiacs, nanites, sex pollen) and biological imperatives (pon farr, pon farr-like hormones, mating cycles) and psychological manipulation (e.g. blackmail/threats) and other states of altered consciousness (sleepy/unconscious, possession).
There are fics that blur the line between noncon and con. Generally, I do not buy stories where characters get aroused while being raped (not while play-acting rape)-the ones where the character starts off protesting and thrashing and then subsides into moans and "more"s and orgasm. See earlier section re: actual rape is terrifying and not sexy. And yet the forced orgasm is an alluring concept-forced to come, but not necessarily forced to enjoy the attack. This is where drugs and mind control and alien technology provide some leeway. Personally, I think stories like harriet_spy's Side Effects May Vary and the first part of kimberlite's teambuilding, pegasus style are delicious. For attacks on men, there's the idea that hitting the prostate hardens the penis regardless of a lack of psychological arousal. Or maybe what you're writing/reading is violent/angry!sex and not really noncon. Or maybe you're dealing with humor/crack where the noncon is taken lightly and so orgasms aren't a big deal (astolat's Mostly Harmless and How to Succeed in Sex Slavery Without Really Trying or onthecount's how to manufacture a gossip from a gentleman).
Related to the sticky subject of enjoying an act that is forced upon you, there is the classic Stockholm Syndrome plotline where the assaulted or enslaved character sympathizes or falls in love with their rapist/master. Again, this can be done well or not so well. Chew on mirabile_dictu's Fortuitous Night, Fated, Free (SGA) and helenish's Inception Viking AU, Patience, a steady hand.
There are fics that force you (heh) to ask uneasy questions, like Is it noncon if the subject doesn't mind the captivity/rape? (ex. torch's John Sheppard, helpless plaything trio) or, Was that noncon or not? (ex. Lenore's Freefall and eleveninches' Them Other Boys Don't Know How to Act). usomitai's Take It asks this question of Resonant's Advantage. Or, what about when a character allows him/herself to be raped not because of blackmail but out of guilt, to atone for something? (All I Have Are Secrets is a notorious example from SGA, and I am told there's been at least one involving Chase from House, who dropped out of seminary school).
Okay, and now we come to the issue of giving up the power to say no. Characters who get off on deliberately relinquishing all control or foregoing safewords. Characters who give their partners blanket permisison to "assault" them (or assault them, sans quotation marks) at any time. Stories where you're not sure if you've just read noncon or noncon play. Historical fandoms or diverse cultures, real or imagined, where the concept of safewording doesn't necessarily exist.
Some of the common story constructs work better for me than others. For instance, I just cannot get into fics where you think you're reading a noncon scene and it turns out at the very end that it was all pre-arranged noncon play; the "surprise, it was consensual all along!" stories. I know people enjoy reading and writing them, but for me it just doesn't work, for a few reasons. If you're engaging in classic noncon play, then you know the whole time that you're safe and just pretending. Or you've left just enough space for improvisation that you can ride an adrenaline edge. In these stories, though, the POV "victim" character is presented as afraid and surprised and with no idea that the attacker is their partner or no hint that they'd had previous discussions about roleplay. I prefer to know what the character knows. And the idea of arranging for noncon play and ending up in an actual noncon situation frightens me. I'm not sure where the appeal of this subgenre originates-is it about spicing up unexciting play? is it that the thought of acknowledging upfront that it's play seems to take all the tension away from the story? is it a thrill drawn from the very nature of the liminal space? is it, as the Kink Wiki article mentions, that "the moment of giving up consent is part of what's hot, so you could think about slave contracts or collaring ceremonies or the moment when the limits-checklist is torn up"?-and I'd love to hear from people whose kink it is.
All by way of saying that consent play stories can become problematic. At the same time, they can take ambiguity and run with it (ex. a meme fill by krytella where Eames is maybe-on-purpose assaulted while forging). Or they can explore what happens when consent play morphs into noncon, such as when safewords fail (ex. bluflamingo's Trust Me).
You start to get the picture. :)
Ruminations on why this kink is attractive
So, here's the thing. If someone forces you to do something sexual, then it's not your fault. You don't have to feel guilty or ashamed for doing something "dirty" or taboo, or for being with someone villainous or forbidden, or for being a sexual creature or having sex in the first place. This is one reason people (including me) write noncon-themed stories-to overcome or bypass or interrogate that guilt or shame through a fictional character we may or may not identify with. It's also a reason for characters to fantasize about rape. It permits the acting-out of fantasies that can be forbidden or frightening in real life. Even if-perhaps especially if-no one but yourself is forbidding the activities.
Noncon play and noncon reading/writing also allow you to act out scenarios that would land you in jail or a therapist's office if they actually happened.
Giving up control-while still maintaining the ultimate power to put a stop to things-is another big attraction of fantasizing about noncon or engaging in noncon play. Characters who identify as control freaks (and people who read/write about characters they identify with as control freaks-gah, this gets intricate) might welcome the chance to have someone else take over when they can't quite let themselves. On a less personal and more intellectual level, there can certainly be attraction in seeing such a character's control stripped away in a noncon scenario.
Relatedly, there's the appeal of being pushed, or watching someone be pushed, beyond one's limits. Torture porn. Emotional porn. Allowing oneself to break, or watching a strong character break. Finding that you have more strength than you realized, or watching a character draw from unknown depths of resilience and bravery-Star Trek: Reboot stories about Gaila rescuing herself from Orion slavery are great for this. Being allowed to use your full strength to fight off an attacker. Enjoying the freedom of using your strength and/or power to just take someone you want.
Power play is a big, big part of the attraction of noncon and noncon play for many people. This could take the form of ceding, taking or entrusting control. It could involve a character in a position of power forcing (or mutually pretending to force/be forced) a subordinate. It could involve an older person coercing a younger one; or, by definition of law, an older person seducing someone who's underage. The dynamics of empowered and powerless are integral to master/slave 'verses and fantasies. And then there are the reversal stories, where the historically or recently disempowered person assaults (or imagines assaulting) the oppressor. And so on.
From the writer's perspective, noncon makes it easier to push the envelope in a sex scene. Readers can in turn enjoy the anticipation of not knowing how far the scene will go.
Reading/writing noncon themes, and characters fantasizing about or playacting noncon, open the possibility for "making" someone admit that they want or like something sexual. Similarly, someone can discover by writing or reading such a story or by trying such a fantasy that they want or like something sexual.
There's the draw of an adrenaline spike from being manhandled, being taken by surprise or trying something scary. Some characters who are adrenaline junkies might enjoy a little noncon play alongside their shoot-outs and surfing.
Here's another thing. Noncon and play can be about being so desirable that the other person becomes overwhelmed or obsessed. What a huge, if totally morally repugnant, compliment. As someone who heavily values intelligence and is not conventionally pretty, for me one of the many appeals of noncon is the thought of being desired for looks and not (just) brains. The same could apply to brainy characters who don't think about or have confidence in their sex appeal.
Noncon and noncon play can also serve as means to an end. For instance, play is an opportunity for characters to grow closer together as they confess, negotiate, act out and/or adjust the acting-out of their kinks. I asked some friends about all of this when I was brainstorming for the essay, and one of them said something about this point that I'm just going to quote here:The part I love is the negotiation before and the talking about it after and the whole idea that there is so much trust between them -- both on the initial level of one person letting their partner know that this is what they're into, and then their trust in one another in deciding to go through with it, trusting one another to stop if they're asked to and to be asked to stop if it's needed. Which is why these fics actually feel to me like the most consenting situation possible, you know?
On the other side of the spectrum, characters who are forced by aliens a third party can similarly come together under the pressure. Then there is of course the huge body of work that uses noncon as a springboard for the comfort part of the hurt/comfort trope. There are the rescue and revenge scenarios that allow the character to get their own back and/or allow their friends and loved ones to prove how much they care about them. There's the character exploration related to what was discussed above, e.g. How does a character react when overpowered? And, hell, noncon can be a way to bring together sexy characters when at least one of them would never have sex willingly with the other.
And then there is the matter of enjoying the kinks that are often found nearby.
Great tastes that taste great together
Noncon is like the little black dress of kink. Any act-any kink-can be done against someone's will. In my opinion, kink + noncon = even better. (At the same time, in line with Kink Bingo's rules as well as general courtesy, it's important to be mindful not to portray a kink as "squicky" or "gross" just because it's being "forced" on a person.)
I could list the bulk of the Kink Wiki here and tell you how each kink can work in a noncon or play scenario. To spare us all, let's instead hit some highlights:
And in conclusion…
Sigh. I had another two sections planned, but I think 5,000 words is enough for one entry, don't you? We'll have to save the rest for another time. (Such as, how do you make it happen-how do you take characters you like and put them in noncon situations-and how do you use canon villains, OC aggressors, and OC victims to make it easier? Or, what fandoms/movies/sources seem primed for noncon-sex-themed melodramas like SUV, hypersexual sources like Spartacus, science fiction and fantasy sources with evil twins and body swaps and demons and sorcerers, and postapocalypse sources where order has broken down, and spies and prisoners and criminals, and…-or primed for consent play, like holodecks and dreamshare and…? And we didn't even get into the non-sexual kinds of noncon, like mind melds, or the ways noncon can be written non-explicitly.…)
But no, we are stopping! Honest.
I hope this outpouring has articulated or illuminated or even just confirmed something about noncon and noncon play for you. I hope you try some of the recs, and please, do offer some of your own. This is unbeta'd and mostly written yesterday, so any errors or offenses are my fault and unintentional.
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Thank you again to those of you who chimed in when I asked under f-lock for thoughts on why consent play works. If you'd like to be credited for anything, just let me know and I'll amend.
Questions, comments, recommendations, requests to go into more depth, all welcome as always. I'd love to keep the conversation all together at the original post, but feel free to comment wherever you're more comfortable.
It went up on
kink_bingo this morning here as part of the ramp-up to the next round (which starts tomorrow, plug plug) and has already generated some wonderfully thought-provoking comments that I need to try to respond to intelligently.
For my own OCD archiving needs and for the sake of anyone who might not like reading or commenting on Dreamwidth, the essay is reposted in its entirety below. Hope you like it. *insert noncon joke here*
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Force Me, Please: On Noncon and Noncon Play in Fanfic
This is an essay about nonconsensual sex (noncon) and noncon roleplay in fanfic, why I love them, why they may work for other people, and how approximately one zillion kinks complement them. With 45 recs sprinkled throughout.
A bit about where I'm coming from
When the Kink Bingo mods put out the call for ramp-up meta, I immediately volunteered to write about consent play. See, I glomp on to stories that have noncon warnings or noncon roleplay scenes. I will soldier on through terrible, terrible stories if I am promised such a scene. I search for noncon in fandoms I don't know (and in films and such, but that's another discussion). I am the sicko who rents The Last House on the Left because I want to watch the rape scene. I like my porn stars tied up and teary-eyed.
Here we get a little into TMI territory. I've loved noncon and have had rape fantasies since as far back as I can remember. We're talking about feeling aroused-or whatever you can call arousal when you're a proto-sexual child-watching Care Bears and My Little Ponies (go to 6:10) trapped on conveyor belts, watching Donald Duck getting stripped for an exam (go to 3:30), tying up Barbies naked and constructing elaborate abduction scenarios with Legos. Sex didn't really excite me unless there was some element of threat or force. (Witness also the genesis of my preferences for bondage, exposure and medical kink, heh.)
Liking fictional rape was a huge source of confusion and shame for me growing up. My friends made grossed-out or disturbed faces when I talked about who I thought were sexy, sexually threatening villains in movies or showed them Mary Sue scenes I'd written. I would blush when something noncon-y occurred in a movie or TV show that I was watching with my parents; it took me years to figure out that that was because I thought they'd know I was turned on by it. It didn't even have to be an out-and-out rape scene. Because, honestly! The Emperor zapping Luke Skywalker until he writhed on the ground! Gul Madred stripping and suspending Captain Picard! Gary Oldman stroking terrified girls' faces in Air Force One and The Professional! The beginning of just about every Law & Order: SVU episode! *shivers with joy* No one I knew shared my predilections, so I learned to keep quiet about them.
Then the Internet and fandom happened. There was noncon everywhere, expansions of some of the scenes and relationships I'd loved and them some. Other people liked noncon too, and they weren't ashamed. Soon I stopped being ashamed and started celebrating it. Now I'm writing an essay about it for an audience of people who might also like it or be curious about it.
So that's pretty awesome.
I'm a cisgendered female, and I should say that I have not experienced rape in real life. Note that that's not an obvious statement. There are of course people who've experienced sexual assault who can't abide noncon-themed stories because of that, which is why trigger warnings and content notes are so important. But there are also some people who have been sexually assaulted or abused and who do read and/or write noncon or noncon roleplay fic. For at least one of them whom I know, it's a source of catharsis. It varies, is the point.
So that's a bit of where I'm coming from, and as noted above, I thought it would be interesting to try to explain why noncon and noncon play appeal to me. Back in December during the Bingo mini-challenge, an anonymous commenter asked if someone would write an essay about consent play similar to the one about erotic humiliation. It's been kicking around in my head to do this ever since. I don't know that I can approach the insight and intelligence of the humiliation essay, but I hope this is still illuminating.
What this essay will not cover
A note before we start. I will not be talking about:
- Rape recovery. This is a beautiful, delicate genre that contains some absolutely heartwrenching stories; see for example Pru's Cartography by Touch (SGA) and sheafrotherdon's Pulling at Fragments (Hawaii 5-O). But these are generally not meant to be arousing and often take place after the assault is over, whereas my focus here is on the erotics of forced sex. To that end:
- Non-eroticized noncon. This is a subjective call, to be sure, but what I mean is stories that are written in a way that makes it very difficult to find the noncon scenario arousing. See for example yin's Untouch (SGA), Martha's The Fall of the House of Sheppard (SGA) or notfar's Sugar Spell It Out (Glee).
- Incest and abuse stories. In fic, these scenarios can involve erotic noncon, but this is a particular squick area for me for personal reasons and I can't give it due attention here.
- Enthusiastic consent. As the Kink Wiki entry says, "consent play" can be interpreted as giving really enthusiastic consent, or being made/encouraged to consent to each individual act during a non-forced encounter. This can be totally sexy and fun (or humiliating, in the sexy way), but I'm not going to talk about it, only because my tastes lie in the other direction.
Also, for space reasons and because of the nature of this essay, I'm not going to give individual warnings or content notes for each rec. You can safely assume that each one contains consent issues, and please heed the original authors' warnings. I'm happy to give more details on anything in comments.
On the difference between fantasy and reality; ethical dilemmas; freedom of kink
Let's put it simply: Rape is bad. Noncon-fictionalized rape-can be hot.
The reverse is true as well: The fantasy can be hot, but the reality is not. A fanwork creator or a character who has a noncon fantasy almost certainly does not want to experience, perform or witness rape in real life. (I say "almost" only because there's the gray area of characters who decline safewords and so forth; we'll get to that in a minute.) There was a conversation at the end of the SGA episode "Travelers" where Sheppard, who'd just been kidnapped by a woman in leather, tried to explain this concept to McKay, who was complaining that he never got to be abducted by "the sexy alien." A nicely illustrative kink meme fill by friendshipper followed wherein Rodney discovers that imagining being forced is not at all like actually being forced.
On a meta level, noncon and noncon play is tricky, messy stuff. We're talking about readers and writers getting off on other people's (characters') anguish. There are those who say that is wrong. There are those who say that is damaging. There are those who argue that enjoying noncon is anti-feminist or misogynist because it often depicts and therefore perpetuates the victimization of women. They say it is even worse that it's usually women who are writing the fic, perpetuating the victimization of themselves. (Unless you're writing about male/male homosexual assault or female-on-male aggression. Indeed, being able to write about rape without having to depict a woman/girl being assaulted by a man is why some people explore such alternatives. Similar rationale for revenge stories.)
I don't have easy answers. I can say that getting off on a fictional character being raped is hugely different from getting off on an actual person being raped. This is true whether you identify with the aggressor or the victim. I can say that wanting to perform play-rape is nowhere near the same as wanting to rape or be raped. The bottom line for me is to be accepting of people's kinks, so that just as we are sensitive to people who have triggers, we should be sensitive to people who think noncon is sexy, even if we don't think so ourselves.
The good news is, you can explore any and all of these questions within the fic itself. I've read some fabulous stories where characters struggle with their own noncon desires, such as perfect in a sickening sort of way by perdiccas (Star Trek: Reboot RPS; locked to AO3 members, but worth joining to read, seriously), which is extra-special neat because it takes the POV of the character who wants to dominate. Or, if you interpret them as metacommentary on having voyeuristic rape fantasies, stories where one character grapples with having partly enjoyed witnessing another character's noncon experience (shaenie's Indelible, which is worth reading for many reasons, and toft's Fix, also fab though darker).
Making distinctions: noncon vs. play, and all the shades of gray
Just to be sure we're all on the same page. When I talk about noncon, I mean a character is forced to perform one or more sexual acts against their will.
Some examples from SGA:
- Fraternus by busaikko (with bonus alien biology)
- Wrapped in a Red Ribbon by Auburn (story notes here)
- Chapter 4 in particular of perryvic and tzaganthi's guilty-pleasure fic "Whipping Boy"
- Okay, and one from the movie Dark City: Imprint by zoi_no_miko
When I talk about noncon play, I mean two or more characters consensually deciding to simulate rape. There is typically discussion, negotiation and a safeword chosen so that the "attacker" and the "victim" can stop the scene at any point. This is the acting out of a rape fantasy with a trusted partner in a safe environment. Nothing is meant to happen that both parties don't want to happen, even though the character playing the victim may struggle or say "no" during the scene (hence the safeword; unless they decide that a "no" or other such signal will also stop the scene, or unless a character simply gets too distressed to continue, and I'll stop listing scenarios now). The scene could happen right after the discussion, at an appointed time or at an unspecified/surprise time.
Some examples:
- The one where Arthur has a fantasy and Eames tries to help him fulfill it - the experiment by solvent (Inception; nice in that it shows the "aggressor" needing to use his safeword)
- The other one where Arthur has a fantasy and also a list of do's and don'ts - By the Book by zetaori
- Ariadne has a fantasy; Eames and Arthur are happy to oblige - they would not like the way we live by sabinetzin (also Inception)
- If you'll allow me to self-rec for a second, heh: A Week in the Life, wherein Katie coaxes Rodney into fake-assaulting her (SGA)
- The one where Spencer and Ryan try it out and decide it's not going to happen again - Hide and Seek by fictionalaspect (Bandom)
Of course, not everything under the umbrella of "consent play" is so easily categorized.
There's dubious consent, where it's not clear to the reader and/or one or more characters whether consent is given or can truly be given. Maybe one or both want to, maybe they don't. Maybe they get together afterwards, maybe they don't. Here's where we get into chemicals (alcohol, drugs, aphrodisiacs, nanites, sex pollen) and biological imperatives (pon farr, pon farr-like hormones, mating cycles) and psychological manipulation (e.g. blackmail/threats) and other states of altered consciousness (sleepy/unconscious, possession).
There are fics that blur the line between noncon and con. Generally, I do not buy stories where characters get aroused while being raped (not while play-acting rape)-the ones where the character starts off protesting and thrashing and then subsides into moans and "more"s and orgasm. See earlier section re: actual rape is terrifying and not sexy. And yet the forced orgasm is an alluring concept-forced to come, but not necessarily forced to enjoy the attack. This is where drugs and mind control and alien technology provide some leeway. Personally, I think stories like harriet_spy's Side Effects May Vary and the first part of kimberlite's teambuilding, pegasus style are delicious. For attacks on men, there's the idea that hitting the prostate hardens the penis regardless of a lack of psychological arousal. Or maybe what you're writing/reading is violent/angry!sex and not really noncon. Or maybe you're dealing with humor/crack where the noncon is taken lightly and so orgasms aren't a big deal (astolat's Mostly Harmless and How to Succeed in Sex Slavery Without Really Trying or onthecount's how to manufacture a gossip from a gentleman).
Related to the sticky subject of enjoying an act that is forced upon you, there is the classic Stockholm Syndrome plotline where the assaulted or enslaved character sympathizes or falls in love with their rapist/master. Again, this can be done well or not so well. Chew on mirabile_dictu's Fortuitous Night, Fated, Free (SGA) and helenish's Inception Viking AU, Patience, a steady hand.
There are fics that force you (heh) to ask uneasy questions, like Is it noncon if the subject doesn't mind the captivity/rape? (ex. torch's John Sheppard, helpless plaything trio) or, Was that noncon or not? (ex. Lenore's Freefall and eleveninches' Them Other Boys Don't Know How to Act). usomitai's Take It asks this question of Resonant's Advantage. Or, what about when a character allows him/herself to be raped not because of blackmail but out of guilt, to atone for something? (All I Have Are Secrets is a notorious example from SGA, and I am told there's been at least one involving Chase from House, who dropped out of seminary school).
Okay, and now we come to the issue of giving up the power to say no. Characters who get off on deliberately relinquishing all control or foregoing safewords. Characters who give their partners blanket permisison to "assault" them (or assault them, sans quotation marks) at any time. Stories where you're not sure if you've just read noncon or noncon play. Historical fandoms or diverse cultures, real or imagined, where the concept of safewording doesn't necessarily exist.
Some of the common story constructs work better for me than others. For instance, I just cannot get into fics where you think you're reading a noncon scene and it turns out at the very end that it was all pre-arranged noncon play; the "surprise, it was consensual all along!" stories. I know people enjoy reading and writing them, but for me it just doesn't work, for a few reasons. If you're engaging in classic noncon play, then you know the whole time that you're safe and just pretending. Or you've left just enough space for improvisation that you can ride an adrenaline edge. In these stories, though, the POV "victim" character is presented as afraid and surprised and with no idea that the attacker is their partner or no hint that they'd had previous discussions about roleplay. I prefer to know what the character knows. And the idea of arranging for noncon play and ending up in an actual noncon situation frightens me. I'm not sure where the appeal of this subgenre originates-is it about spicing up unexciting play? is it that the thought of acknowledging upfront that it's play seems to take all the tension away from the story? is it a thrill drawn from the very nature of the liminal space? is it, as the Kink Wiki article mentions, that "the moment of giving up consent is part of what's hot, so you could think about slave contracts or collaring ceremonies or the moment when the limits-checklist is torn up"?-and I'd love to hear from people whose kink it is.
All by way of saying that consent play stories can become problematic. At the same time, they can take ambiguity and run with it (ex. a meme fill by krytella where Eames is maybe-on-purpose assaulted while forging). Or they can explore what happens when consent play morphs into noncon, such as when safewords fail (ex. bluflamingo's Trust Me).
You start to get the picture. :)
Ruminations on why this kink is attractive
So, here's the thing. If someone forces you to do something sexual, then it's not your fault. You don't have to feel guilty or ashamed for doing something "dirty" or taboo, or for being with someone villainous or forbidden, or for being a sexual creature or having sex in the first place. This is one reason people (including me) write noncon-themed stories-to overcome or bypass or interrogate that guilt or shame through a fictional character we may or may not identify with. It's also a reason for characters to fantasize about rape. It permits the acting-out of fantasies that can be forbidden or frightening in real life. Even if-perhaps especially if-no one but yourself is forbidding the activities.
Noncon play and noncon reading/writing also allow you to act out scenarios that would land you in jail or a therapist's office if they actually happened.
Giving up control-while still maintaining the ultimate power to put a stop to things-is another big attraction of fantasizing about noncon or engaging in noncon play. Characters who identify as control freaks (and people who read/write about characters they identify with as control freaks-gah, this gets intricate) might welcome the chance to have someone else take over when they can't quite let themselves. On a less personal and more intellectual level, there can certainly be attraction in seeing such a character's control stripped away in a noncon scenario.
Relatedly, there's the appeal of being pushed, or watching someone be pushed, beyond one's limits. Torture porn. Emotional porn. Allowing oneself to break, or watching a strong character break. Finding that you have more strength than you realized, or watching a character draw from unknown depths of resilience and bravery-Star Trek: Reboot stories about Gaila rescuing herself from Orion slavery are great for this. Being allowed to use your full strength to fight off an attacker. Enjoying the freedom of using your strength and/or power to just take someone you want.
Power play is a big, big part of the attraction of noncon and noncon play for many people. This could take the form of ceding, taking or entrusting control. It could involve a character in a position of power forcing (or mutually pretending to force/be forced) a subordinate. It could involve an older person coercing a younger one; or, by definition of law, an older person seducing someone who's underage. The dynamics of empowered and powerless are integral to master/slave 'verses and fantasies. And then there are the reversal stories, where the historically or recently disempowered person assaults (or imagines assaulting) the oppressor. And so on.
From the writer's perspective, noncon makes it easier to push the envelope in a sex scene. Readers can in turn enjoy the anticipation of not knowing how far the scene will go.
Reading/writing noncon themes, and characters fantasizing about or playacting noncon, open the possibility for "making" someone admit that they want or like something sexual. Similarly, someone can discover by writing or reading such a story or by trying such a fantasy that they want or like something sexual.
There's the draw of an adrenaline spike from being manhandled, being taken by surprise or trying something scary. Some characters who are adrenaline junkies might enjoy a little noncon play alongside their shoot-outs and surfing.
Here's another thing. Noncon and play can be about being so desirable that the other person becomes overwhelmed or obsessed. What a huge, if totally morally repugnant, compliment. As someone who heavily values intelligence and is not conventionally pretty, for me one of the many appeals of noncon is the thought of being desired for looks and not (just) brains. The same could apply to brainy characters who don't think about or have confidence in their sex appeal.
Noncon and noncon play can also serve as means to an end. For instance, play is an opportunity for characters to grow closer together as they confess, negotiate, act out and/or adjust the acting-out of their kinks. I asked some friends about all of this when I was brainstorming for the essay, and one of them said something about this point that I'm just going to quote here:The part I love is the negotiation before and the talking about it after and the whole idea that there is so much trust between them -- both on the initial level of one person letting their partner know that this is what they're into, and then their trust in one another in deciding to go through with it, trusting one another to stop if they're asked to and to be asked to stop if it's needed. Which is why these fics actually feel to me like the most consenting situation possible, you know?
On the other side of the spectrum, characters who are forced by aliens a third party can similarly come together under the pressure. Then there is of course the huge body of work that uses noncon as a springboard for the comfort part of the hurt/comfort trope. There are the rescue and revenge scenarios that allow the character to get their own back and/or allow their friends and loved ones to prove how much they care about them. There's the character exploration related to what was discussed above, e.g. How does a character react when overpowered? And, hell, noncon can be a way to bring together sexy characters when at least one of them would never have sex willingly with the other.
And then there is the matter of enjoying the kinks that are often found nearby.
Great tastes that taste great together
Noncon is like the little black dress of kink. Any act-any kink-can be done against someone's will. In my opinion, kink + noncon = even better. (At the same time, in line with Kink Bingo's rules as well as general courtesy, it's important to be mindful not to portray a kink as "squicky" or "gross" just because it's being "forced" on a person.)
I could list the bulk of the Kink Wiki here and tell you how each kink can work in a noncon or play scenario. To spare us all, let's instead hit some highlights:
- Virginity - First, because I love it so, there's the classic plot where a young woman holds on to her virginity only to lose it in an assault. Tragic and frightening, yes, but for the reader/writer of a noncon story or for the noncon fantasizer, it can also be liberating. Remember how I said noncon scenarios can help a person or character overcome self-restriction? If the writer/reader or character is too tightly wound to sleep with someone at all, a noncon fantasy or roleplay can help. This category also contains gems like the gender-nonspecific virgin sacrifice (see for instance this multi-fill Star Trek: Reboot thread) and the guy-loses-his-gay-virginity-in-an-unwanted-way trope (Lenore's Influences and Innuendo: Club Doom attempted rape Sentinel fic).
- Guilt, shame and humiliation - If you or the character feels ashamed or guilty for wanting something, or enjoys the shame or the guilt of getting something, or wants to be called out on it, or likes exploring the choice of one shame over another in a blackmail- or prostitution-type scenario, noncon and play scenarios are an excellent way to go. The aggressor (or "aggressor") gets to cause exquisite emotional torment or even catharsis or forgiveness by forcing the victim/"victim" to confront exactly what it is they're guilty about or ashamed of. Dirty talk may or may not overlap with this.
- Exposure, striptease - I love, love, love when characters are forcefully disrobed or forced to disrobe themselves, or when an assault is so frantic that the victim is left mostly clothed, or when the victim is made to be physically open in some way to be looked at and accessed, whether that's acute nudity or a spreader bar holding their legs apart or their head held in such a way that they have to maintain eye contact. Mmm.
- Bondage, wrestling, pinning, suspension - Yes, please. If your character is actually or pretending to be forced, the aggressor needs to subdue or restrain them. Tie them up, strap them down, hang them from the ceiling, anything from a dizzying array of positions and situations. If the kinks themselves don't do it for you or for them, consider as well that physical domination brings the characters' bodies very close together in a way that can be powerful, whether it's arousing or repugnant.
- Similarly, knives, guns and other weapons are easy to work in as the aggressor threatens or possibly harms the victim. Pervertibles come into play (heh) when the aggressor grabs whatever is at hand and transforms it into a sexual object. Of course, plain old sex toys/object insertion work just as well, too.
- Bruising, biting, bloodplay, breathplay/choking/hyperventilating, and all kinds of painplay are easy to work in when the victim struggles and/or when the attacker gains the upper hand and has their way with their prey. Ditto for edgeplay, where the aggressor can push the victim as far as the former pleases.
- Confined/caged works well for kidnappings, dungeons, slave AUs and more elaborate play scenes.
- Blindfolds, hoods, headphones and so on further restrain the victim and open the door for sensation play as some senses are dulled while others become heightened.
- Gags shut up characters who have a tendency to talk, and can also make vocalizations more sexy for muffling them. Gags can be attractive in that they remove the character's power to stop the assault with words. Maybe they fancy themselves to be smart and eloquent enough to convince the attacker to leave them alone. A gag prevents that and allows the assault to continue. I personally find that freeing. You can struggle and you won't escape; you can try to talk and you won't be let free. The absence of a gag can be compelling, too, if the characters have to force themselves to stay quiet.
- Emotional manipulation can come into play alongside or in place of physical coercion, particularly if the attacker threatens or blackmails the victim into having sex with them. Lots of fun for exploring what might make a character submit to a distasteful sexual experience. Is there something terrible in their past? Are they deeply ashamed of something? Could their career be ruined?
- Possession/marking isn't a long shot when the aggressor/"aggressor" is so obsessed they want to own the victim/"victim".
- Have we not mentioned the fuck-or-die/-be tortured/-something horrible scenario yet? Always a treat. This is yet another way to alleviate guilt, push characters out of virginity or celibacy, introduce lots of tension, bring characters closer together, employ drugs and aphrodisiacs, etc. etc. It's also a way to introduce guilt and shame and angst. As well as:
- Voyeurism and exhibitionism - Maybe the aggressor is making a point of looking at the victim. Maybe there's a friend or loved one being forced to watch the assault. Maybe the aliens third party forcing two characters together is staring as if they're a zoo exhibit. Maybe filming or picture-taking or painting/drawing is involved. Maybe the aggressor likes to show off, or maybe the victim does and is or isn't comfortable admitting it. Maybe the whole thing happens in public. Take your pick.
- We already talked about power play. Here's the place for sex work and slavery/slave AUs as well as other power differentials (or roleplay scenarios) such as teacher/student, higher rank/lower rank, boss/employee and warden/prisoner. It could also mean age difference or size difference.
- Bodily fluids - This seems to be a common squick for people. Noncon and noncon play offers great opportunities to explore fear, disgust, shame or ambivalent feelings a character or their culture might have about taboo acts like watersports, scatplay or emetophilia-as well as examine what might turn the character on about it. They could have a fluid-related act forced on them, or they could imagine it being forced on them, relieving guilt for performing or enjoying it. Or they could relish the shame entwined with delivering the kink and ask a partner to pretend to have it forced on them. Plus, you know, noncon and play can involve the classic blood, sweat and tears. Possibilities, possibilities.
- Orgasm delay/denial and chastity devices go hand-in-hand with control. The aggressor, with agreement from the victim if they're playing, gets to decide if and when and how the victim gets to come. Nice opportunity for some begging and desperation, or yet more shame and humiliation if they either don't want to beg their rapist or don't want to come but come anyway.
- Okay, just a few more. Anonymity for strangers-in-an-alley classic noncon or for partner-pretending-to-be-a-stranger play. Machines if you like your noncon with an impersonal or inexorable edge.
- Last but not least, it wouldn't be a kink article by me without mentioning tentacles, those wriggly deliverers of overstimulation and pleasure against the victim's will. Tentacles offer bondage, sensation play, gags, insertables, stimulators, fluids and mechanical/technological or animal play all wrapped into one.
And in conclusion…
Sigh. I had another two sections planned, but I think 5,000 words is enough for one entry, don't you? We'll have to save the rest for another time. (Such as, how do you make it happen-how do you take characters you like and put them in noncon situations-and how do you use canon villains, OC aggressors, and OC victims to make it easier? Or, what fandoms/movies/sources seem primed for noncon-sex-themed melodramas like SUV, hypersexual sources like Spartacus, science fiction and fantasy sources with evil twins and body swaps and demons and sorcerers, and postapocalypse sources where order has broken down, and spies and prisoners and criminals, and…-or primed for consent play, like holodecks and dreamshare and…? And we didn't even get into the non-sexual kinds of noncon, like mind melds, or the ways noncon can be written non-explicitly.…)
But no, we are stopping! Honest.
I hope this outpouring has articulated or illuminated or even just confirmed something about noncon and noncon play for you. I hope you try some of the recs, and please, do offer some of your own. This is unbeta'd and mostly written yesterday, so any errors or offenses are my fault and unintentional.
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Thank you again to those of you who chimed in when I asked under f-lock for thoughts on why consent play works. If you'd like to be credited for anything, just let me know and I'll amend.
Questions, comments, recommendations, requests to go into more depth, all welcome as always. I'd love to keep the conversation all together at the original post, but feel free to comment wherever you're more comfortable.