Football Players ( Read more... )

I have not slept in twenty four hours and strangely enough I'm not tired at this point. Hopefully I will be somewhat sleepy in a few hours. I want to do nothing right now, except move into my house. I don't want to hang out, I don't want to work, I don't want to talk to people on the phone. And I don't understand why this is making me so anxious ( Read more... )

My twenty first birthday is approaching within eight days. Just about anything dealing with the prospect twists my panties and jerks the work. I feel like I should have some birthday sex to commemorate the occasion. So if anyone wants to have some hot sex, let me know. I’ll break out the cherry magnums. You bring the vagina ( Read more... )

Whatever Justin Timberlake said? I'm just going to let you know that he's lying. Because I brought sexy back last year. And this mothertrucker is going to try to pass this bullshit off as 2006, when it was clearly '05 and in my domain. Um yeah, I assume you'll be the one watching your back while I get my sexy on... your girlfriend. Take me to the ( Read more... )

Justin Timberlake's bringing sexy back. Um, I'm just wondering when sexy left for there to be a need to bring sexy back. I think everyone should be inquiring as to where sexy went and what sexy did and if sexy had a good time where it was. Cause sexy left us and nobody even knew? I guess we can thank Justin for noticing and you know, bringing it ( Read more... )

This looks like one of MSU's "Live ON!" campus campaign posters that are supposed to promote diversity but just end up looking like a plate of stupid with two sides of even stupider. Because the dorms are so diverse right? The majority of blacks live in Hubbard Hall. The Asians live in McDonel Hall. The geeks live in the Red Cedar Zone. And the ( Read more... )

One of my roommates happened to be watching a bowel movement on TV Wednesday night. Nasty little thing. Red hair, hosts a late night comedy show, jumps up and down like a five year old that needs to be smacked in the face. With my dick. Yeah, Conan. But this one isn't about Conan. And his unfunny stupidity. This is about that other guy. The one who ( Read more... )

Muslims are crazy.I'm persistently involved in unearthing new grounds to add to my "religion should be abolished" theory. As such, I've been engrossed in the Denmark Muslim Cartoon fiasco that took place a while ago. To summarize what I’ve learned: Muslims are crazy! They are freaking CRAZY asses when it comes down to religion ( Read more... )

Kiefer Sutherland has one of the sexiest, scariest, raspy, cool, bad ass voices I have ever heard. If I could stick my hand down his mouth, pull out his voicebox, clone it, and put it back because nobody messes with Kiefer and gets away with it, I would. I would then put the clone voicebox down my own throat and pretend to be something I'm not.

Dear Best Buy clerks ( Read more... )