i need to sleep more often. i need to lose weight. i need to excercise because that will make those first two that much easier. and if i sleep more, i'll be less likely to get crazy depressed and post entries like the last one. sorry.

i was happy once. not all that long ago. i don't remember whether i realized it or not, but i was happy. and i think i've been fooling myself into thinking that i've been happy for the last few months. i may have just accepted the fact that this is as close to happy as i'll ever get. it's not that i've lost my chance to be happy. it's more ( Read more... )

Don't know why. possibly because i know no one will read it and i feel the need to type something. but no matter the reason, i'm posting this. can't sleep. for the last week or so. can't sleep soundly. i can get 6-7 hours or sleep. but i keep waking up, tossing and turning, having wierd unrestfully disturbing or just strange dreams, or any ( Read more... )

So on a much upper note than the last few posts ( Read more... )

So once again i'm pulling a '7 days a week' schedule at work... all our night shift broil cooks quit or got fired in half a week. i don't remember if i posted about the last time this happened back around spring break, but i went 20 days in a row, closing shifts, had 1 day off, and worked the next 2 weeks with minimal days off (1 a week i think) ( Read more... )

In the last half a month, i've been broken up with, i've moved out of my parents' house, and Kari and i are both with other people as of this past weekend. For my part, i'm not sure if my relationship will last, if it should, or if i really want it to. Caroline's a fun, intelligent, modest kind of person, but in other ways VERY different from ( Read more... )

So on the phone and 15 minutes before work while on the road, my gf breaks up with me, a week and an hour and 45 minutes after i last saw her in person. It's now a day and a half later and i feel almost like i'm over it. This kind of scares me. After 4 years, i expected it to hurt longer... Was i not as attached as i thought? Was i just ( Read more... )

So yeah. After seeing one friend from work go through a messy break up with the mother of his child (i hate saying 'my baby's momma' or any variation like 'his baby's momma'), I have to sit and watch it happen again to another friend who's too stubborn to let go, even though they broke up MONTHS ago. And i had to sit and wait for an hour and a ( Read more... )

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