What's next? More recent history I suppose. I reckon you know about what all happened in college. About how I asked out Dee (as you call her) twice, and got rejected, twice. About how I feel horrible about that still because once should've been enough. No means no, ya know? But because I'm bad I pressed the issue and put her in an ( Read more... )

For starters I should tell you about my high school. Well, not my high school so much as my time in high school. Freshman year was rotten, new people, new teachers, new school, and predictably, no one liked me. It's predictable because I wasn't well liked in middle school either, and because it generally takes time to like someone, but you can ( Read more... )

I thought the subject might be enough to catch your attention; assuming you've come this far I suppose I should clarify that it's not something that I'm asking for, because to ask for it would be foolishness. Also because, by the time you get back from out of town and read this forgiveness will be the least of my concerns ( Read more... )

I hardly know where to begin. It's been two months since my last entry and everything just been really; bland. Like, terribad. The weather changes, it's gotten hot, but I don't. And it's to the point that I just don't care. But that can't be true, because if I didn't care I wouldn't be writing about not caring; I'd just be not caring ( Read more... )

"Our relationships are forever. Once you have a relationship with someone, you have it. You may decide to restructure it in order to make it a more accurate expression of what is currently real and mutual between you, but you cannot choose not to have it. What was good in it all along remains good and is in no way rendered invalid or nonexistent ( Read more... )

Every day off is a sublime torture unto itself. Voluntarily imprisoned w/in my apartment, growing fatter and wishing for an end to come. Jealous, lonely. The archduke once suggested that it's not lonely alone; I tend to prefer: "you don't have to be alone to be lonely." What have I done with my time off this week? I watched an episode of Weeds ( Read more... )

I was sitting around thinking about suicide today. Been doing it a lot lately. But today I really dug into it. I'm starting this wrong. Karin wrote to wish me a Happy New Year. On facebook; there's, like, evidence and stuff. I didn't write back. A) I didn't really celebrate New Year's. 2) I'm not sure I'm gonna still be around when she ( Read more... )

A little background; after a big fight and subsequent (apparent) break up with a girl I considered to be my best friend and had agreed to be my valentine I went to therapy (like, emotional -- not the cool kind) for the first time after some prompting. This friend that I had split with meant a lot to me and there have been times where I'd be ( Read more... )

It appears that I haven't posted in a while. Since my last post I got arrested and spent 3 days in jail for DUI. Which was lame; I'm working on a deferred prosecution, which includes a 2 year treatment program and 5 years of Sober Support Meetings and probation. I just finished the first phase of the treatment program so yay for that ( Read more... )

I kinda really dislike facebook. I've been toying with the notion of deleting it for a long while. At first I thought I might just clear out all the "friends" that I don't really see myself ever talking to again. But then my facebook would be like my myspace, down to something ridiculous like 8 people. I've been holding onto it because it's a ( Read more... )