I went to my first therapy session. She said that I'm depressed. Uhmm... How many times have I heard that before? It felt kinda like a waste of time, but that could've been because I was nervous, didn't know what I was doing there, and didn't really know what I wanted aside from the ever ambiguous "help." She told me that she thought I ought ( Read more... )

I keep thinking about calling or writing her and apologizing. Asking if we can still be friends. The thing is, I'm still not really sure what I have to apologize about. I mean, nothing that we fought over was a new thing for us. The only really surprising thing was how much she took offense to, well, me and the way I am. I think we probably ( Read more... )

Will I learn from the immediate past? I think in this case I choose not. I prefer to look forward to future landmarks. So, even though I started planning for Valentine's Day two months in advance; with a disasterous, depressing and life-altering result, I'm still gonna start planning for my birfday now. Here's what I've got so far. The night ( Read more... )

I really wish I hadn't made such a big deal about Valentine's day. Because I still really like her, and now I have no idea if we're going to be friends. I mean, granted; that sounds exactly like what I've been thinking since last year, but now I think she has good reason to dislike me ( Read more... )

I had a dream last night. I was hanging out with a bunch of reality tv show stars. Not like, real ones, but the context these people were all in was a reality tv show reunion thing. It got pretty dramatic so I bounced and as I'm walking down the street I run into someone from Project Runway on the way to fashion week. So I tag along, and more ( Read more... )

Last night I had a long conversation with Kim. I'm interested in staying friends with her. I don't know what her opinion is ( Read more... )

I stand by what I said yesterday. I'm not prepared to just throw away this friendship that I've sunk so much time and effort into. I am very frustrated though. I went up to her apartment and called her tonight. Even though her lights were all on, there was no answer. So I left her gift on the door and left. I hate that things are like this, I ( Read more... )

Ok, so here's the deal. I'm not ready to just throw away five years of friendship over one heinous act. That being said, if I can't commnunicate with her, there's no way to save the friendship. Since Valentine's Day I've left two voice mails and this morning I facebooked her; as of this posting there has been no reply. Tomorrow I'm going over ( Read more... )

Another night's sleep and I've simmered further. I don't think I can really blame her anymore. If, indeed, the problem stems from a lack of communication than it's my fault for letting her think that she can get away with it. I should've stuck up for myself more stringently. My lack of assertiveness has now created a predicament that I don't ( Read more... )

I was still pretty red hot this morning when I wrote that. I've simmered a bit. A lot. I'm still pretty livid, but not to a disasterous degree, which is good. It's the reason I wrote in my journal instead of calling her up again and trying to take action right away. That being said, I did call her up today. I got her machine, which is ( Read more... )