i'm having the worst day ever!shit grades, don't know if i've got into warwick yet, then found out my boyfriends best friend has been mocking me behind my back discreetly on myspace. i'm so fucked off!

i hate to see everyday my parents break each other a little more. they tap away at the cracks hoping that something positive will be gained for themselves, but it's not going to happen. i wish they could be happy together. i never want to end up like them.

i've been going to the gym lately...then today my mum said, you're thighs aren't the slim dancer thighs they used to be, what machines are you using? this made me totally paranoid, i don't know how to get them thinner and now im panicking! i was trying to get fit and apparently i'm just getting bigger. this is why anorexia is the way forward.

eeeek i'm so happeeeeeeeeeee. i'm so excited for friday and tuesday and yay! he's so different

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

and no katrin im not drunk, it's 9.00 in the morning.....well maybe i am a little. yay i get to see you on tuesday!! we can all get drunk! and pissed!

love you

xxxx

i still love you, but i know you don't love me. i miss you.

well it's over. a little sad because he was and still is one of my best friends, but the spark just wasn't there. in fact he always was my best friend rather than a boyfriend. also i felt i gave more than he did and put more effort in. i feel bad for upsetting him, but we left on good terms so it's not all bad, especially since we were going to ( Read more... )

grrr i wish people weren't always so fucking unreliable about little things like meeting up or saying they'll do something and then don't. really fucks me off.

i'm used to coping on my own, so don't suddenly expect me to open up, i'm not you.

well i've finally worked out why i have trust issues, why i hate myself, why i'm promiscuous and why i cut and self-harm in any possible way. it fits, but whether or not its correct is another story. 14 years old is young, but im not sure whether or not i'm being self-centred or self-pitying. i just can't tell. but at least i have some sort of clue ( Read more... )

I'm alone again.