hello, it seems you have happened to (somehow) stumble upon my journal. it's about 40% friends-protected, while the rest should be pretty self explanatory. i'm not very good about updating -- and can be incredibly inconsistent at times, but if you would like to be friends, feel more than welcome to add me, and leaving a comment would be much ( Read more... )

pressed up against the glass
i found myself wanting sympathy
but to be consumed again
oh i know would be the death of me
and there is a love that's inherently given
a kind of blindness offered to appease
and in that light of forbidden joy
oh i know i won't receive it

pictures of new clothes! much photo spammage ahead.

( onward; )

weeks come and weeks go, and with the pass of each day it has become increasingly clear to me that you haven't changed -- and moreover, that my suspicions of you disinterest all along were quite true. no, there isn't any harm in being honest, but there is a great deal of harm in holding the truth back from someone. & more than you could probably ( Read more... )

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october 31, 2001: the day the world came to a screeching halt. and here we all are trying to scrape by like idiots when we fully realize in our hearts that we have nothing left but our own happiness to sacrifice in order to try and attain something higher of sharper and more exact value that will contribute to building something better ( Read more... )

notes to self ( Read more... )

...i saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story ( Read more... )

as a whole, right now i feel generally disappointed and alone in the world. not only in the world, but in people too. i can't say that i expected things to be any better than they are now, but more than anything, this experience has caused a severe lack of faith in my life to occur. it feels like someone pulled a drain plug inside me, and all ( Read more... )

the thing that frightens me the most about problems between us is that there is no escape -- no comfort zone. when it happens, it is in fat, red, bold ink. not obscured, not opaque. the only clarity that we lack between us is the understanding of our own personalities. when you draw close to me, my fears surge through me from all corners of the ( Read more... )