i see people. and sometimes i wonder if they see me back, or if i am really the only one that can see them. days go and days pass, and i find myself beginning to wonder what i am pressing toward, if anything. i feel like the labyrinth keeper of an endless galleria of lackluster observations, stolling down corridors upon corridors -- trying to ( Read more... )

whether people do so purposefully or not, sometimes i imagine that they find it easy to just come back & try to talk to me after having been estranged for an extended period of time. i'm starting to see patterns. i see my 'friends' having emotional distress, feeling that i am some sort of obstacle in their lives that must be removed -- whether it ( Read more... )

love set you going like a fat gold watch
the midwife slapped your footsoles, and your bald cry
took its place among the elements.

our voices echo, magnifying your arrival. new statue.
in a drafty museum, your nakedness
shadows our safety. we stand round blankly as walls.

dear neverwhere ( Read more... )

hello journal.. i am updating from the middle of freaking San Fancisco in the Apple store. =O this place is so busy and huge..... it's overwhelming!!! and very expensive for that matter..i think we finally found a good hotel that we don't get mugged and gangbanged in. anyway! santeri!!!! If you want to meet up somewhere(if you're still around) let ( Read more... )

"i was going crazy waiting to see you," he said suddenly ( Read more... )

i went shopping for clothing for my cousin's wedding yesterday and i have to say that it made me really dislike the whole process of having to buy things for a wedding when you will never wear the clothing you have to buy for it ever again afterward. it makes me so angry that aside from the fact that i am seldom ever able to afford clothing for ( Read more... )

there will be days when i wake up and i feel like my body is so heavy that it is being magnetized to the earth, as if some fluke pull of gravity is keeping me from doing anything else of value, but feeling keeps tells me so much and so little at the same time that its impossible to differenciate. it is so difficult feeling so old when i am not ( Read more... )

i really haven't the slightest idea whether i was dreaming or seriously drugged or what, but this morning at around 11am i was sleeping nice and peacefully(well for the most part anyway), and suddenly this frank sinatra/ratpack music started blaring really loudly completely out of nowhere, and i practically jumped through the roof. i usually leave ( Read more... )

( lots of rain )