super junior, various, his favorite {(3/6)}
Title: His Favorite (3/6)
Fandom: Super Junior
Main Pairings: Kangin/Sungmin, Siwon/Sungmin
Minor Pairings: Sungmin/OCs, Kangin/OCs, Kangin/Yesung, Kangin/Yoon-ji, Kangin/Yoon-ji/Sungmin, Eunhyuk/Donghae/Sungmin, Eunhyuk/Sungmin, Eunhyuk/Donghae
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Adult Content (character death, disturbing themes, dubious consent, strong sexual content, swearing, extreme violence)
Genre: AU, Angst, Drama, Romance
Word Count: 6,330 (43,360 in total)
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with SM Entertainment or Super Junior. This is all just for fun.
Summary: Because people like us don't get a happy ending.
Author's Note: Please, please, please heed the fic warnings.
Written for yinhyuk. <3
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24 years
Yoon-ji holds out for two years before she finally agrees to marry Youngwoon.
It's torture watching Youngwoon chase after her like some sort of lost puppy.
When Sungmin and Youngwoon have sex, Sungmin makes sure to leave as many marks as possible, they serve as a reminder that Sungmin is still there, still in Youngwoon's bed, and he won't be going anywhere. Youngwoon doesn't seem to mind. He seems to have developed a sick kind of fascination with Sungmin's jealousy and when he's feeling particularly sadistic, he likes to flaunt his relationship with Yoon-ji in front of Sungmin.
As for Yoon-ji, if she knows her fiancé is fucking another man, well, then she doesn't seem to care.
Understanding what makes Yoon-ji tick is more difficult than Sungmin wants it to be. She has to know Youngwoon's relationship with Sungmin isn't innocent. There's enough gossip going around work and she's spent so many hours there that she must have heard the rumors by now. Sungmin is sure she knows. And she doesn't care.
What she does like to do is talk to Sungmin. He isn't sure why, but when she finds the opportunity to get him alone, she takes it. She'll smile at him, lower her lashes so she can look more alluring and rest her hand on his arm. Her fascination with him is disconcerting, but Sungmin can't say he hasn't entertained the idea of taking her to bed, just so he can get back at Youngwoon. But he isn't attracted to her, no matter how many times she flutters her pretty little eyelashes at him, and his desire for revenge isn't quite powerful enough.
Still, it doesn't stop her from trying.
"You're so pretty." She'll marvel, running her fingers over the contours of his face, over his lips. "I have never seen a man with a face like yours."
"You would have loved Heechul-hyung." Sungmin says as he pushes her hand away.
"Heechul?"
"An old friend." Sungmin decides he's had enough of entertaining her and walks towards the door. "He's dead."
"A pity." She murmurs as Sungmin leaves.
It really is.
=+=
While the wedding preparations take place, Sungmin loses himself in work.
He takes up as many contracts as possible. Taking a life, cleaning up the company's messes, well, they make Sungmin feel normal; safe. Killing someone makes him feel like the world isn't splitting open beneath his feet. It's seriously fucked up, Sungmin knows, but nothing about his life is normal anymore. His life has never been normal.
"Oh Jesus." Hyukjae whines when he steps inside the apartment. It looks like a hurricane ripped through, but it isn't the mess that has him groaning. It's the body in the middle of the room. Tied to a chair, like they usually are, Sungmin's newest victim sits dead, blood still dripping from the gash in his throat.
Behind him Donghae whistles in obvious appreciation of Sungmin's work.
"Did you have to bash his skull in?" Hyukjae asks as he takes a step closer. Half of the man's head is caved in. Blood and brain matter is sprayed all over the wall behind him and Hyukjae knows it's going to be a nightmare to get the place cleaned up.
Leaning against the wall, twirling his bloody knife in cool indifference, Sungmin shrugs. "He got frisky."
Donghae laughs while poking at pieces of the man's skull.
"Stop that." Hyukjae growls, slapping Donghae's hand away.
"He was a scumbag." Sungmin pushes himself away from the wall and heads to the door. "He liked to play with little boys and little girls... I decided to show him the error of his ways."
Hyukjae wrinkles his nose as Sungmin's meaning sinks in.
"Sungmin-hyung," Donghae calls just as Sungmin's about to leave, "we still meeting up for drinks later on?"
Sungmin flashes a smile. How he and Donghae can act so normal, like they're not surrounded by blood and death, Hyukjae will never know.
"Wouldn't miss it."
=+=
The wedding day finally arrives. A ton of people have been invited - from business men all over the world to notable politicians and other dignitaries. Sungmin has been invited too. Youngwoon was nice enough to hand him his invitation personally.
Sungmin won't be going. He doesn't care if it makes him look like a coward.
He stays as far away from the house as possible. He books himself into a nice hotel room with one of Youngwoon's credit cards and plans to forget the terrible day with a ton of alcohol and prescription drugs. They say don't mix alcohol and medication, but then they say don't do a lot of things and Sungmin's pretty sure he's done most of those things.
Sungmin manages to do quite well, but near midnight his little party is crashed, or rather joined, by Hyukjae and Donghae who feel the need to cheer him up.
"We stole a bottle of champagne from the reception!" Donghae announces triumphantly. He's still dressed in a suit. The tie is missing, though and the collar button has been popped open. The glimpse of tanned skin beneath a shirt of stark white is incredibly alluring. "It tastes pretty awful, but apparently it costs more than what Hyukkie and I make in a year."
Sungmin giggles, really giggles, which earns him a strange expression from Hyukjae and a grin from Donghae, and wraps his arms around Donghae's shoulders before capturing Donghae's lips with his own.
Anyone else would probably have been taken aback, but Donghae has always been a tease, a shameless flirt and everything in between. Donghae doesn't hesitate, goes with the unexpected kiss, and it's close to turning into a full make out session when Hyukjae decides to spoil everything by pulling Sungmin away from Donghae.
Donghae groans, disappointed. Sungmin laughs breathlessly, and decides to hang onto Hyukjae instead.
"Are you high?" Hyukjae asks.
"Yes!" Sungmin leans close to Hyukjae, slides his lips along Hyukjae's jaw, feels the younger man tense up. "I'm having fun, Hyukkie."
"You should probably stop drinking." Hyukjae says like the responsible person he always is.
Donghae snorts. "Fuck that. He should get smashed. It'll make everything hurt less."
"Yeeessss." Sungmin moans in Hyukjae's ear. It sends a shiver through Hyukjae. His poor friend, Sungmin thinks, has never been able to hide the attraction he has towards Sungmin.
"It will make him feel--," Hyukjae starts, but is quickly interrupted by Sungmin before another argument can break out between the two best friends.
"Speaking of fucking," Sungmin reaches behind him, flaps his hand around until he feels Donghae and grabs a fistful of his shirt before pulling him close, "I want you two to fuck me."
"What?" Hyukjae sounds almost appalled, but Sungmin knows it's only because he's so surprised.
Meanwhile Donghae's already pulling his belt from his pants. It's what Sungmin likes about Donghae - the kid never beats around the bush with needless conversation. He lives for the moment, and for once Sungmin wants to live for the moment too.
"Donghae, stop." Hyukjae snaps when he realizes what Donghae's doing.
Donghae groans in frustration. "Oh come on, man."
Sungmin cradles Donghae's cheek and stares up at Hyukjae. "Yeah, come on... I know you two fuck each other," Donghae smirks, Hyukjae winces, "and I've seen the way you look at me."
"If the boss finds out..." Hyukjae looks more tempted, but the threat of Youngwoon and what he would do if he found out is too real.
"He won't find out. He's too busy getting married." Sungmin spits the word like it's a curse, but the pain in Sungmin's voice must do the trick because just as the words leave his mouth, Hyukjae's kissing him.
Sungmin moans in delighted surprise and pushes closer. He momentarily forgets about Donghae and buries his hands in Hyukjae's messy hair.
The kiss is amazing. Sungmin isn't sure if it's the booze or the drugs, but he swears he can feel Hyukjae's pent up desires, feel them breaking through the walls of Hyukjae's self control until it splinters and shatters completely.
Donghae watches for a few minutes, but it isn't long before he decides to interrupt. He's always been needy; a bit of an attention freak. It's all good, though - when he wraps his arms around Sungmin's waist to pull him away from Hyukjae, Sungmin laughs happily while Hyukjae groans with obvious disappointment.
Donghae spins Sungmin around a little, twirling once, twice, before they reach the bed and fall down in a giggling, dizzy and boneless heap. Donghae landed on the bottom and Sungmin seizes the chance to play with the handsome man beneath him. Sungmin sits up, rests his hands on the bed beside Donghae's head and grins wickedly before dipping his head down so he can kiss Donghae too.
Donghae kisses like he does everything else - with an electric, addictive kind of enthusiasm. It's very different from Hyukjae, but just as incredible.
Hands settle on Sungmin's hips for a second before sliding up, underneath Sungmin's t-shirt so he can run the tips of his fingers over Sungmin's back. The simple move has Sungmin gasping in all the right ways, but soon it isn't enough anymore and Sungmin sits up, breaking the kiss. His ass settles over Donghae's crotch, he can feel the hardness of Donghae's cock pressing against him. It excites him, and Sungmin decides the sooner he can get to that cock, the better.
Battling with the small buttons of Donghae's shirt is a tedious idea. Sungmin rips the shirt open instead.
"Fuck." Sungmin whines as he runs his hands down Donghae's chest. "I don't know how, but you are one gorgeous asshole."
Donghae only grins. "I know."
The moment is interrupted when a loud bang sounds through the room. Sungmin jumps, Donghae swears loudly and Hyukjae grins as he stands there with the now opened bottle champagne in his hands.
"You're an asshole." Donghae sighs.
Hyukjae laughs as he takes a sip from the bottle. He makes a face when he swallows before adding, "this stuff really is disgusting."
Sungmin rolls his eyes and returns his attention to Donghae. He grinds his hips down, grinds against Donghae's cock, and grins wickedly when Donghae makes a garbled moan. It drives Sungmin insane. The sound rips through every nerve in Sungmin's body and his growling as he captures Donghae's lips with his own. He keeps his hips moving in a steady rhythm, delighting in the small gasps Donghae's breathes into his mouth, the way Donghae's hands cling to his hips, the way Donghae's own hips thrust up from the bed to create more friction.
When Donghae's begging, sweet little words of wanting more, of needing more, Hyukjae decides it's his turn to do the interrupting.
Hyukjae climbs onto the bed behind Sungmin, snakes an arm around Sungmin's waist and props his chin on the older man's shoulder. He's grinning down at Donghae as he says, "you two aren't thinking of getting off without me, right?"
Donghae and Hyukjae decide to team up. Getting Sungmin naked as quickly as possible seems to be the aim of the game - Donghae unbuttons Sungmin's jeans while Hyukjae pulls Sungmin's shirt off. When it's finally off, he runs his hands over Sungmin's chest, his flat stomach, his hips. He's finally letting himself do what he's always wanted, and the intense look of concentration, of desire in his eyes that Sungmin catches a glimpse of when he looks away from Donghae, makes Sungmin feel a little breathless.
Hyukjae pulls him back. He sits down, pulling Sungmin onto his lap which makes it easier for Donghae to pull Sungmin's jeans off. While Donghae works, Hyukjae plants a trail of kisses up Sungmin's neck, starting at the spot where shoulder and neck meet. Their second kiss is just as intense as the first one, but slower. It's a little uncomfortable, Sungmin has to turn his neck, but the way Hyukjae slides his tongue against Sungmin's, the way he coaxes Sungmin's mouth open and dips it inside, more than make up for the way Sungmin's neck muscles burn.
When warm, moist lips mouth at his cock through his underwear, Sungmin wrenches his lips away from Hyukjae's with an appreciative groan.
"Oh God..." He whines as Donghae pulls his underwear lower, freeing his dick in the process. He holds his breath when, still grinning, Donghae takes Sungmin into his mouth. Sungmin throws his head back, rests it against Hyukjae's shoulder, grabs at Hyukjae's hair so that he can anchor himself as he gasps up at the ceiling.
No one has ever sucked him off before. Youngwoon never says so, but Sungmin knows that the older man thinks it's beneath him.
"He's good, right?" Hyukjae whispers in his ear. "You won't believe the things he's able to do with that mouth of his."
Except Sungmin has a pretty good idea. Donghae has no problem swallowing him whole, and he knows just what to do to get Sungmin close to the edge without letting him come undone completely. But it's when Donghae has his tongue sliding over the slit of Sungmin's dick, his mouth sucking at the head, that Sungmin is sure he won't be able to stop himself from coming.
But then Donghae pulls away and Sungmin whines, wishing that Donghae will go back to sucking him off.
"Hey," Donghae says, looking curious, "do you think you could take both of us?"
It takes a second for Sungmin to realize what exactly Donghae means.
"No." He replies, and Donghae pouts, obviously disappointed. "I'm good, but not that good." Sungmin motions for Donghae to come closer. Donghae does so, slowly crawling up the length of Sungmin's body and lovingly nudges his nose against Sungmin's cheek. "You'll get your turn." Sungmin promises.
Donghae will get his turn, but it's Hyukjae who goes first. He's the one who's obviously wanted this the most, or for the longest and Donghae is nothing if not a good friend. Sungmin decides riding Hyukjae sounds like a good idea, and he's smirking as he pushes Hyukjae down on his back.
Sliding onto Hyukjae's cock, taking every inch of him, is an incredible feeling. Hyukjae's rougher, more eager than Sungmin anticipated, and he's forceful as he thrusts up into Sungmin. He plants his feet down on the bed to steady himself, helping to create a stable, but intense rhythm.
Hyukjae doesn't take too long to reach his climax. The hand wrapped around the base of Sungmin's cock keeps him from doing the same.
Donghae wastes no time taking over once he realizes Hyukjae is done. He pulls Sungmin off of a gasping Hyukjae, and rests him on his back. While Hyukjae was rough, passionate, it turns out Donghae is a little slower, a little more romantic. He kisses Sungmin slowly as he pushes into him. It's not really, but Sungmin knows this is the closest to lovemaking he's ever come to.
While the pace Donghae sets is at times frustratingly slow, he does get them both there.
Sungmin falls asleep trapped between Donghae and Hyukjae.
The next morning he wakes up with a splitting headache, and it feels like he's going to die. A wave of nausea so intense hits him and Sungmin has to get up, quickly, and rush towards the bathroom. It's while kneeling next to the toilet, throwing up everything he had to drink the previous day, that Sungmin realizes what it is he did and with whom.
He feels, well, Sungmin isn't sure what he feels. Guilty? Yes, because Sungmin knows he used Donghae and Hyukjae; he used his only friends in the world to forget the fact that the man he loves was busy marrying someone else.
It won't happen again. It can't happen again, and right now Sungmin can't face them. When he gets to the bedroom, he's relieved to see they're both still fast asleep. Without Sungmin the middle, Donghae's spread himself over Hyukjae. Sungmin has learned Donghae enjoys cuddling.
While they sleep, Sungmin pulls his clothes on as quietly as possible. It's quite the task; his clothes are mixed in with Donghae's and Hyukjae's and he's nervous they'll wake up and see him slipping out like a thief in the night.
Sungmin gets out of the room and has to lean against a wall and breathe. It's a stupid waste of valuable time because when he looks up again, Donghae is standing there, dressed in only the pair of pants from the night before. They're wrinkled after spending the whole night on the floor.
"This is never going to happen again, is it?" Donghae never beats around the bush. He can't lie or pretend, he always says, so he doesn't try.
"No." Sungmin replies, shaking his head. The headache is still there, still extremely powerful, and his whole brain protests at the excessive movement.
"Do you regret it?" Donghae looks lost, alone, and Sungmin's heart breaks.
He moves close in a few quick strides. "No." He replies before kissing Donghae lightly. "I don't." And he really doesn't. He regrets using his friends, but he doesn't regret the act itself. "But I love Youngwoon."
"Even after everything he's done?"
"Do I wish I could just stop feeling the way I do? Yeah, of course, but I can't. It doesn't work that way."
"Hyukjae loves you." Donghae says as Sungmin turns to leave. "He's in love with you. Probably has been since the first time you walked into that cafeteria."
"I know."
Sungmin leaves without another word.
=+=
Youngwoon is married.
It still hurts, it will always hurt, but Sungmin is okay. He can live with it and, like before, he doesn't see Yoon-ji enough to be bothered about her presence. The first few months he can't share Youngwoon's bed because she's there, but Youngwoon often slips into his room and when Youngwoon fucks him it's almost like nothing's changed.
For those few hours when it's just the two of them, Sungmin can pretend - he's become so good at pretending - that the only people who matter are him and Youngwoon and they have no responsibilities to anyone else.
"You're my favorite." Youngwoon will whisper to him in the silence of the night.
Sungmin will smile and say, "You're my favorite, too."
=+=
For a few weeks after the wedding, Sungmin avoids both Donghae and Hyukjae. When there's a cleanup job they need to do, Sungmin will always make sure he's gone before they arrive. He misses them; they're his only friends in the world and being without them is hard, but Sungmin doesn't deserve their friendship and so he'll leave them alone. He won't hurt them again.
That plan is all good in theory, but it's Hyukjae who shoots that plan down.
"It happened, okay? It shouldn't have, but it did."
Sungmin never thought Hyukjae would be brave enough to show up at the house, but Youngwoon is away and Yoon-ji is off doing whatever it is she does.
"But we're both adults and we can get over it. You're our friend - neither Donghae nor I want to see you close yourself from us."
Hyukjae's lips say one thing and his eyes say another. Sungmin knows Hyukjae's hurting. He knows what it feels like to have your heart broken, but he really doesn't want to give up his friendship with Hyukjae.
"So are we good?" Hyukjae asks, hopeful.
"We're good."
They're good.
=+=
A year into Youngwoon's marriage, Yoon-ji finally acts upon her attraction towards Sungmin.
She does it in a way Sungmin never expected her to. She does it in a way she knows she'll get what she wants - she goes to Youngwoon. Of course there's no way Youngwoon will agree to his wife sleeping with his lover, but she knows he'll be tempted by the idea of having them both at the same time. She's smart. She knows how to play people without them realizing it.
Youngwoon knows that too, but he doesn't care. The idea is too enticing for him to care.
"Is this what you want?" Sungmin asks.
Youngwoon hums an affirmative. He kisses Sungmin's exposed shoulder. "It's what I want."
Sungmin closes his eyes. He hates himself a little when he says, "okay."
Sungmin sleeps with them both. It's strange, not nearly as enjoyable as his evening with Hyukjae and Donghae had been. While he fucks Yoon-ji, Youngwoon fucks him and it's not an experience Sungmin cares to repeat. If he'd been unsure, this is the proof he needed that he's not attracted to women.
"Don't ask me to do something like this ever again." Sungmin says after the act as he gets dressed. Youngwoon is lounging on the bed while Yoon-ji's in the shower.
"I won't." Youngwoon promises. "I don't like the idea of her touching you."
How funny, Sungmin thinks with a snort. "Then why did you agree?"
"Because I was curious. Now my curiosity has been sated."
Things go back to normal after that. Or, as normal as things can ever be. Sungmin avoids Yoon-ji as much as possible, Youngwoon wanders into his bedroom when he's not in the mood for his wife and slowly life goes on.
A few months later Yoon-ji and Youngwoon announce, during a public corporate event, that she's pregnant. It's a surprise to everyone, and while people clap and cheer, the only thing keeping Sungmin standing is Donghae's arm around his waist and Hyukjae's hand on his elbow.
Like everyone else, Sungmin congratulates them. He doesn't ask the question he's dying to ask, though - a part of him doesn't want to know.
The baby can't be his, Sungmin tells himself. Of course he's not sure. There's no way he can ask her, and he can't tell how far along she is so he can't do the math and it's too much to actually think about. Sungmin escapes back to the house where he won't think of what the chances are that he might have a child on the way.
The baby is Youngwoon's. It doesn't matter what the truth is, the baby is Youngwoon's.
Sungmin doesn't dare voice his concerns to Youngwoon. The older man is too lost in the thrill of being a father-to-be, so Sungmin decides if there had been any doubt, they must have had tests done and never bothered to tell him.
The pregnancy brings new change. Yoon-ji moves out of Youngwoon's room and into her own. Sungmin isn't sure what prompted the move, but he's not complaining. With Yoon-ji out of the way, it means Sungmin can spend nights in Youngwoon's room again. He can go back to where he belongs.
Youngwoon's seems to agree because the first night they're free to be just together, there are candles to set the mood and red wine from Sungmin's favorite winery, and Sungmin is more charmed than he wants to admit.
With Youngwoon dressed in a suit - he always looks good in them - holding two glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, there's no way Sungmin can resist kissing Youngwoon. They fuck on the floor before getting to the expensive wine, but the night is young and they wind up in bed, drinking wine out of the bottle.
Life goes on.
Yoon-ji is cranky most of the time, disliking the way her body has changed with the pregnancy, but even Sungmin will agree that her condition suits her.
The night she gives birth Sungmin decides to do the math. She carried to term, is delivering mostly on her expected due date so he has enough to work with.
There is a chance the baby could be his.
It isn't, Sungmin tells himself. It's Youngwoon's. Sungmin just has to trust they know something he doesn't. They've done DNA tests. They're sure, they have to be. Still, without knowing for certain, without having it confirmed, Sungmin will always wonder.
It's a girl. She's beautiful.
When Sungmin sees her for the first time, he's blown away by how small, how utterly perfect she is. He wants to hold her; he's sure he'll die if he doesn't get the chance to, and Yoon-ji must see the desire in his eyes because she smiles as she hands little Yu-ni over to him.
"Be careful to support the head," she instructs, "there you go."
Sungmin is so afraid of breaking her, of harming her in any kind of way, but he never wants to let go. She's his. He knows.
Youngwoon is watching them. When he's tired of being stuck on the sidelines, he steps close to Sungmin, circles his arms around Sungmin's waist and buries his nose in Sungmin's hair. Except for that one night, Youngwoon has never touched him in front of Yoon-ji and for a moment Sungmin has no idea how to react to the sudden public display of affection.
"She looks like you."
"What are you saying?" Sungmin asks when he turns around to look at Youngwoon. His heart is beating impossibly fast.
"You know what I'm saying." Youngwoon replies casually.
He must look like he's close to laughing hysterically, or crying, because he finds himself in Youngwoon's embrace again.
Yoon-ji giggles at the two of them. "What a strange family we make."
Sungmin laughs, too, and finds himself agreeing.
=+=
In the eyes of the world, Yu-ni will always be Youngwoon's daughter. As far as she knows, she'll always be Youngwoon's daughter. It breaks Sungmin's heart, knowing he can never tell her the truth, but Youngwoon will be able to give her more than Sungmin ever could. With Youngwoon as her father, every door will be open to her. She'll be able to do anything - the world will be her oyster.
Sungmin supposes this is the hardest thing about being a parent. Doing what's best for your child even if it means hurting yourself in the process.
He's never missed his own parents as much as he does now.
=+=
28 years
Youngwoon smells like cheap perfume. It's disgusting and Sungmin makes a face, but keeps quiet. It will only cause an argument, and he's been summoned to Youngwoon's office to talk about more than whatever woman Youngwoon's fucking now. An argument is brewing, though. Sungmin won't be able to hide his displeasure for too long.
"It's time." Youngwoon says. He throws the folder he's been carrying onto the desk. It skids over across the wood, but Sungmin catches it before it can fall over the edge. "I think you've waited long enough to have your revenge, don't you?"
Sungmin glances at Youngwoon before opening the folder to see the contents inside.
"Yeah, I do."
=+=
Kyuhyun, their little tech expert who has a chip on his shoulder which Sungmin is sure someone will want to knock down one day, is lounging in front of his desk, humming up at the ceiling with that voice of honey of his as lines of code flash on his computer screen.
He makes a protesting noise, something of a whine and a yelp, as Sungmin throws the folder on his desk.
"Don't sneak up on me." Kyuhyun snaps, pulling his earphones off his head.
"Pay attention." Sungmin replies coolly. "I have a job for you - find out everything you can on the Choi family."
Kyuhyun opens the folder. "Other hackers have already done that."
"They're not you, Kyuhyun. I want to know what you can find out." Sungmin leans against Kyuhyun's desk. The movement knocks his Protoss figurine over. The horrified gasp he makes and the way he lovingly rights it is both endearing and ridiculous.
"What exactly are you looking for?" Kyuhyun asks, sending a quick look Sungmin's way as he makes sure his figurine won't fall over again.
"A way in."
=+=
When Sungmin steps foot inside the house he's greeted, as always, by little running feet and joyous giggles. Sungmin scoops Yu-ni in his arms, twirls her around just so he can hear the delighted giggling can morph into euphoric squeals. He gets his wish, and as Yu-ni laughs, breathing ragged from the excitement, Sungmin holds her close.
"Sungminnie," she whines, "doooon't."
"Don't what?"
"Squishing."
"Oh," Sungmin loosens his grip a little, "sorry, little mouse."
"S'kay."
As always, he spends the rest of the afternoon with her. Youngwoon is still at work and Yoon-ji is on a cruise ship somewhere, probably screwing a very pretty cabin boy, or girl. With Yoon-ji, one never really knows.
He loves these moments when it's just the two of them; when neither Youngwoon nor Yoon-ji are around which happens to be more often than it probably should.
Both her parents love her, but Yoon-ji quickly realized motherhood was more than just giving birth and quickly handed her over to the nannies so she could work on getting her figure back by sleeping with her very handsome trainer. Youngwoon, surprisingly, is around more than Sungmin would have guessed and dotes on Yu-ni as often as he can.
It turns out Youngwoon is very good with children, but Sungmin knows he shouldn't be so surprised. When Sungmin had been a child, Youngwoon had charmed him without even trying.
Sometimes, when it's just the three of them, Sungmin feels like they're actually a real family. It's a feeling that never lasts, no matter how hard Sungmin tries to hold onto it, because inevitably something comes along to screw it up.
"You'll tell daddy to come say goodnight, right?" Yu-ni asks later while Sungmin's busy putting her to bed. She's a precious sight tucked in underneath her pink duvet and clutching the stuffed bunny Youngwoon bought the day she was born. It's worn out, no longer as soft as it used to be, but she's attached to the damn thing and won't even think about letting them get rid of it. Yu-ni has multiple toys and stuffed animals, but none of them compare.
"Of course I will." Sungmin knows he won't have to. Youngwoon always checks in on Yu-ni when he gets home.
When she's tucked in and sleeping, Sungmin heads to Youngwoon's bedroom. After taking a shower, he pops open his laptop and checks his email. As predicted, Kyuhyun already has information for Sungmin to go through. It's not a hell of a lot more than they already know, but anything that can give him an edge is appreciated.
"I'll try and find out more." Kyuhyun writes and Sungmin smiles. Youngwoon needs to give the kid a raise.
There are files and files on all the businesses Choi Kiho has. All of them look perfectly fine, until a person starts digging. Like Youngwoon's company, Kiho doesn't necessarily deal in things that the rest of the world would approve of. There are files of drug trafficking, human trafficking and weapons smuggling, and Sungmin knows he's only looking at the surface of everything the Choi business empire has its greedy little hands dipped in.
The business side of it is a little too boring for Sungmin, so he moves on. Honestly, he doesn't know much about the Choi family. He knows about Kiho, of course. How could he not? The man is the reason his parents were murdered, but as for his family, well, all Sungmin knows is that he has a wife and two children.
Sungmin clicks on a file called Jiwon brings up a photo of a young woman, frowns at it before closing it. He pauses when he opens the file named Siwon and takes a moment to consider the handsome face smiling back at him. Siwon, Choi Kiho's only son, would be primed to take over the business. The son and heir - the future of the Choi business empire.
Sungmin smiles - he has the perfect way to hurt Choi Kiho.
Simply killing the old man would be far too simple. Sure, Sungmin could do multiple things to draw his death out, but nothing would give Sungmin as much pleasure as taking everything from the old man. Sungmin doesn't care if Kiho lives to a ripe old age. In fact, the longer he lives, the more pain he'll experience.
Choi Kiho will lose everything, and what better way to start than with the hope and future of the Choi family?
=+=
Youngwoon gives the fastest of glances at the laptop screen that still has Siwon's picture on display. He doesn't bother to pay as much attention to the notebook resting beside Sungmin's knee. He leans against Sungmin's back; Sungmin tries to push him away, the smell of cheap perfume is stronger than before.
"Get off." Sungmin hisses. "You smell like one of your whores."
Youngwoon snorts, but does as Sungmin wishes and lies on the bed instead, spreading out as much as possible. "I take it you have a plan?"
"I'm working on it." Sungmin murmurs. "Why now?" He asks, turning around so they're facing each other. "This isn't about letting me have revenge. I could have done that years ago if it was the case."
"Because it's time." Youngwoon stretches out on the bed, painting a picture of content laziness. "Do you know when I took this company from my father, we were at the bottom of the pile? We were a small fish in a very big pond. I worked us up to get where we are today - we're powerful, very powerful, but Choi Kiho is always a little more powerful and now I think it's time to get rid of the competition. So while you can do whatever you want to Choi Kiho, what I really need is information - I need to know everything I can to take them down, and I need you to find it for me."
"So this was never just a simple assassination mission. This is infiltration and sabotage, too?"
"Bingo." Youngwoon replies. "You've always been more than an assassin. I have faith you'll get what I'm looking for."
"So why didn't you tell me that from the beginning?"
"Because I knew you'd be able to figure it out for yourself."
Sungmin huffs.
=+=
"Do you know we've known each other for twenty years?" Sungmin asks later.
"Hm?"
"I met you when I was eight-years-old."
"Yeah." Youngwoon tries getting closer again. This time Sungmin doesn't push him away. "You were cute."
"We were so close." Sungmin murmurs.
"To what?"
Being a family. Being happy.
When Yu-ni was born, Sungmin really thought everything would click into place and whatever always had Youngwoon wanting more would finally be gone, but Youngwoon's marriage to Yoon-ji crumbled, the initial attraction gone, and neither seemed particularly interested in fixing it because they both had what they wanted.
While Sungmin was glad of it, knowing he had Youngwoon all to himself again, it eventually meant Youngwoon resumed his old ways because he was never satisfied with enough. It took years to realize it, but there's something missing in Youngwoon. Sungmin isn't sure how it got there or who the cause for it is, but he's had to admit that he can't fix Youngwoon.
He tries and always fails. One day he'll die trying.
"Sungmin?"
"Nothing." Sungmin shakes his head, plants a quick kiss on Youngwoon's cheek and scrambles off of the bed with his laptop and notebook in hand.
"Where are you going?"
"To my room. I think I want to sleep alone tonight."
The soft, "Sungmin," stops him before he can leave.
"You're my favorite." Youngwoon says.
Sungmin looks at Youngwoon - stares at him for almost a full minute, taking in the older man's appearance, the look in his eyes as he waits for some kind of response from Sungmin. It hurts looking at Youngwoon, but it's a different kind of pain than before. It's not so sharp anymore. It doesn't feel like it will break Sungmin if he dwells on it too much, but it's there, lurking in his heart, the back of his mind. Always there and never gone.
"Yeah." Sungmin says.
He leaves. Youngwoon doesn't ask him to stay.
=+=
"You must hate him." Hyukjae pops an apple slice into his mouth and nods his head towards the picture of Siwon.
"I don't." Sungmin replies as he scribbles a few notes in his notebook. The sound of his pen's tip on paper is momentarily interrupted by the sound Hyukjae's knife makes as it cuts another piece off of the apple. It's a sharp hissing sound; Sungmin loves it.
"What? Why not? His dad killed yours."
"Yes, his dad, but did he pull the trigger?" Sungmin glances up from the notebook at Siwon's picture. "No, he didn't. Choi Siwon is a target; a means to an end. I don't hate him. I feel nothing for him."
"That's cold." Hyukjae mutters. Sungmin doesn't bother to respond. "So how are you going to work this? What are you actually going to do?"
"I'm going to make nice with Siwon. He's a typical rich boy. Daddy bought him a club to keep him busy and out of trouble. He's there every night with a bunch of his friends. There have been a few scandals with him that the family has managed to keep quiet. Seems Siwon here likes men, and of course religious nut daddy isn't happy with that."
"Weird that he bought Siwon a club then. You'd think that would encourage bad behavior."
"Maybe he figures it's safer for Siwon to get down and dirty with men at his own club then at another."
"What's making nice with Siwon going to do?"
"Hopefully it will lead me to what Youngwoon wants and, when that's done, Siwon will help me get what I want."
"Remind me to never fuck with you, okay?"
"I seem to recall that you already have."
Hyukjae blushes. Sungmin laughs.
< >
Fandom: Super Junior
Main Pairings: Kangin/Sungmin, Siwon/Sungmin
Minor Pairings: Sungmin/OCs, Kangin/OCs, Kangin/Yesung, Kangin/Yoon-ji, Kangin/Yoon-ji/Sungmin, Eunhyuk/Donghae/Sungmin, Eunhyuk/Sungmin, Eunhyuk/Donghae
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Adult Content (character death, disturbing themes, dubious consent, strong sexual content, swearing, extreme violence)
Genre: AU, Angst, Drama, Romance
Word Count: 6,330 (43,360 in total)
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with SM Entertainment or Super Junior. This is all just for fun.
Summary: Because people like us don't get a happy ending.
Author's Note: Please, please, please heed the fic warnings.
Written for yinhyuk. <3
<
>
24 years
Yoon-ji holds out for two years before she finally agrees to marry Youngwoon.
It's torture watching Youngwoon chase after her like some sort of lost puppy.
When Sungmin and Youngwoon have sex, Sungmin makes sure to leave as many marks as possible, they serve as a reminder that Sungmin is still there, still in Youngwoon's bed, and he won't be going anywhere. Youngwoon doesn't seem to mind. He seems to have developed a sick kind of fascination with Sungmin's jealousy and when he's feeling particularly sadistic, he likes to flaunt his relationship with Yoon-ji in front of Sungmin.
As for Yoon-ji, if she knows her fiancé is fucking another man, well, then she doesn't seem to care.
Understanding what makes Yoon-ji tick is more difficult than Sungmin wants it to be. She has to know Youngwoon's relationship with Sungmin isn't innocent. There's enough gossip going around work and she's spent so many hours there that she must have heard the rumors by now. Sungmin is sure she knows. And she doesn't care.
What she does like to do is talk to Sungmin. He isn't sure why, but when she finds the opportunity to get him alone, she takes it. She'll smile at him, lower her lashes so she can look more alluring and rest her hand on his arm. Her fascination with him is disconcerting, but Sungmin can't say he hasn't entertained the idea of taking her to bed, just so he can get back at Youngwoon. But he isn't attracted to her, no matter how many times she flutters her pretty little eyelashes at him, and his desire for revenge isn't quite powerful enough.
Still, it doesn't stop her from trying.
"You're so pretty." She'll marvel, running her fingers over the contours of his face, over his lips. "I have never seen a man with a face like yours."
"You would have loved Heechul-hyung." Sungmin says as he pushes her hand away.
"Heechul?"
"An old friend." Sungmin decides he's had enough of entertaining her and walks towards the door. "He's dead."
"A pity." She murmurs as Sungmin leaves.
It really is.
=+=
While the wedding preparations take place, Sungmin loses himself in work.
He takes up as many contracts as possible. Taking a life, cleaning up the company's messes, well, they make Sungmin feel normal; safe. Killing someone makes him feel like the world isn't splitting open beneath his feet. It's seriously fucked up, Sungmin knows, but nothing about his life is normal anymore. His life has never been normal.
"Oh Jesus." Hyukjae whines when he steps inside the apartment. It looks like a hurricane ripped through, but it isn't the mess that has him groaning. It's the body in the middle of the room. Tied to a chair, like they usually are, Sungmin's newest victim sits dead, blood still dripping from the gash in his throat.
Behind him Donghae whistles in obvious appreciation of Sungmin's work.
"Did you have to bash his skull in?" Hyukjae asks as he takes a step closer. Half of the man's head is caved in. Blood and brain matter is sprayed all over the wall behind him and Hyukjae knows it's going to be a nightmare to get the place cleaned up.
Leaning against the wall, twirling his bloody knife in cool indifference, Sungmin shrugs. "He got frisky."
Donghae laughs while poking at pieces of the man's skull.
"Stop that." Hyukjae growls, slapping Donghae's hand away.
"He was a scumbag." Sungmin pushes himself away from the wall and heads to the door. "He liked to play with little boys and little girls... I decided to show him the error of his ways."
Hyukjae wrinkles his nose as Sungmin's meaning sinks in.
"Sungmin-hyung," Donghae calls just as Sungmin's about to leave, "we still meeting up for drinks later on?"
Sungmin flashes a smile. How he and Donghae can act so normal, like they're not surrounded by blood and death, Hyukjae will never know.
"Wouldn't miss it."
=+=
The wedding day finally arrives. A ton of people have been invited - from business men all over the world to notable politicians and other dignitaries. Sungmin has been invited too. Youngwoon was nice enough to hand him his invitation personally.
Sungmin won't be going. He doesn't care if it makes him look like a coward.
He stays as far away from the house as possible. He books himself into a nice hotel room with one of Youngwoon's credit cards and plans to forget the terrible day with a ton of alcohol and prescription drugs. They say don't mix alcohol and medication, but then they say don't do a lot of things and Sungmin's pretty sure he's done most of those things.
Sungmin manages to do quite well, but near midnight his little party is crashed, or rather joined, by Hyukjae and Donghae who feel the need to cheer him up.
"We stole a bottle of champagne from the reception!" Donghae announces triumphantly. He's still dressed in a suit. The tie is missing, though and the collar button has been popped open. The glimpse of tanned skin beneath a shirt of stark white is incredibly alluring. "It tastes pretty awful, but apparently it costs more than what Hyukkie and I make in a year."
Sungmin giggles, really giggles, which earns him a strange expression from Hyukjae and a grin from Donghae, and wraps his arms around Donghae's shoulders before capturing Donghae's lips with his own.
Anyone else would probably have been taken aback, but Donghae has always been a tease, a shameless flirt and everything in between. Donghae doesn't hesitate, goes with the unexpected kiss, and it's close to turning into a full make out session when Hyukjae decides to spoil everything by pulling Sungmin away from Donghae.
Donghae groans, disappointed. Sungmin laughs breathlessly, and decides to hang onto Hyukjae instead.
"Are you high?" Hyukjae asks.
"Yes!" Sungmin leans close to Hyukjae, slides his lips along Hyukjae's jaw, feels the younger man tense up. "I'm having fun, Hyukkie."
"You should probably stop drinking." Hyukjae says like the responsible person he always is.
Donghae snorts. "Fuck that. He should get smashed. It'll make everything hurt less."
"Yeeessss." Sungmin moans in Hyukjae's ear. It sends a shiver through Hyukjae. His poor friend, Sungmin thinks, has never been able to hide the attraction he has towards Sungmin.
"It will make him feel--," Hyukjae starts, but is quickly interrupted by Sungmin before another argument can break out between the two best friends.
"Speaking of fucking," Sungmin reaches behind him, flaps his hand around until he feels Donghae and grabs a fistful of his shirt before pulling him close, "I want you two to fuck me."
"What?" Hyukjae sounds almost appalled, but Sungmin knows it's only because he's so surprised.
Meanwhile Donghae's already pulling his belt from his pants. It's what Sungmin likes about Donghae - the kid never beats around the bush with needless conversation. He lives for the moment, and for once Sungmin wants to live for the moment too.
"Donghae, stop." Hyukjae snaps when he realizes what Donghae's doing.
Donghae groans in frustration. "Oh come on, man."
Sungmin cradles Donghae's cheek and stares up at Hyukjae. "Yeah, come on... I know you two fuck each other," Donghae smirks, Hyukjae winces, "and I've seen the way you look at me."
"If the boss finds out..." Hyukjae looks more tempted, but the threat of Youngwoon and what he would do if he found out is too real.
"He won't find out. He's too busy getting married." Sungmin spits the word like it's a curse, but the pain in Sungmin's voice must do the trick because just as the words leave his mouth, Hyukjae's kissing him.
Sungmin moans in delighted surprise and pushes closer. He momentarily forgets about Donghae and buries his hands in Hyukjae's messy hair.
The kiss is amazing. Sungmin isn't sure if it's the booze or the drugs, but he swears he can feel Hyukjae's pent up desires, feel them breaking through the walls of Hyukjae's self control until it splinters and shatters completely.
Donghae watches for a few minutes, but it isn't long before he decides to interrupt. He's always been needy; a bit of an attention freak. It's all good, though - when he wraps his arms around Sungmin's waist to pull him away from Hyukjae, Sungmin laughs happily while Hyukjae groans with obvious disappointment.
Donghae spins Sungmin around a little, twirling once, twice, before they reach the bed and fall down in a giggling, dizzy and boneless heap. Donghae landed on the bottom and Sungmin seizes the chance to play with the handsome man beneath him. Sungmin sits up, rests his hands on the bed beside Donghae's head and grins wickedly before dipping his head down so he can kiss Donghae too.
Donghae kisses like he does everything else - with an electric, addictive kind of enthusiasm. It's very different from Hyukjae, but just as incredible.
Hands settle on Sungmin's hips for a second before sliding up, underneath Sungmin's t-shirt so he can run the tips of his fingers over Sungmin's back. The simple move has Sungmin gasping in all the right ways, but soon it isn't enough anymore and Sungmin sits up, breaking the kiss. His ass settles over Donghae's crotch, he can feel the hardness of Donghae's cock pressing against him. It excites him, and Sungmin decides the sooner he can get to that cock, the better.
Battling with the small buttons of Donghae's shirt is a tedious idea. Sungmin rips the shirt open instead.
"Fuck." Sungmin whines as he runs his hands down Donghae's chest. "I don't know how, but you are one gorgeous asshole."
Donghae only grins. "I know."
The moment is interrupted when a loud bang sounds through the room. Sungmin jumps, Donghae swears loudly and Hyukjae grins as he stands there with the now opened bottle champagne in his hands.
"You're an asshole." Donghae sighs.
Hyukjae laughs as he takes a sip from the bottle. He makes a face when he swallows before adding, "this stuff really is disgusting."
Sungmin rolls his eyes and returns his attention to Donghae. He grinds his hips down, grinds against Donghae's cock, and grins wickedly when Donghae makes a garbled moan. It drives Sungmin insane. The sound rips through every nerve in Sungmin's body and his growling as he captures Donghae's lips with his own. He keeps his hips moving in a steady rhythm, delighting in the small gasps Donghae's breathes into his mouth, the way Donghae's hands cling to his hips, the way Donghae's own hips thrust up from the bed to create more friction.
When Donghae's begging, sweet little words of wanting more, of needing more, Hyukjae decides it's his turn to do the interrupting.
Hyukjae climbs onto the bed behind Sungmin, snakes an arm around Sungmin's waist and props his chin on the older man's shoulder. He's grinning down at Donghae as he says, "you two aren't thinking of getting off without me, right?"
Donghae and Hyukjae decide to team up. Getting Sungmin naked as quickly as possible seems to be the aim of the game - Donghae unbuttons Sungmin's jeans while Hyukjae pulls Sungmin's shirt off. When it's finally off, he runs his hands over Sungmin's chest, his flat stomach, his hips. He's finally letting himself do what he's always wanted, and the intense look of concentration, of desire in his eyes that Sungmin catches a glimpse of when he looks away from Donghae, makes Sungmin feel a little breathless.
Hyukjae pulls him back. He sits down, pulling Sungmin onto his lap which makes it easier for Donghae to pull Sungmin's jeans off. While Donghae works, Hyukjae plants a trail of kisses up Sungmin's neck, starting at the spot where shoulder and neck meet. Their second kiss is just as intense as the first one, but slower. It's a little uncomfortable, Sungmin has to turn his neck, but the way Hyukjae slides his tongue against Sungmin's, the way he coaxes Sungmin's mouth open and dips it inside, more than make up for the way Sungmin's neck muscles burn.
When warm, moist lips mouth at his cock through his underwear, Sungmin wrenches his lips away from Hyukjae's with an appreciative groan.
"Oh God..." He whines as Donghae pulls his underwear lower, freeing his dick in the process. He holds his breath when, still grinning, Donghae takes Sungmin into his mouth. Sungmin throws his head back, rests it against Hyukjae's shoulder, grabs at Hyukjae's hair so that he can anchor himself as he gasps up at the ceiling.
No one has ever sucked him off before. Youngwoon never says so, but Sungmin knows that the older man thinks it's beneath him.
"He's good, right?" Hyukjae whispers in his ear. "You won't believe the things he's able to do with that mouth of his."
Except Sungmin has a pretty good idea. Donghae has no problem swallowing him whole, and he knows just what to do to get Sungmin close to the edge without letting him come undone completely. But it's when Donghae has his tongue sliding over the slit of Sungmin's dick, his mouth sucking at the head, that Sungmin is sure he won't be able to stop himself from coming.
But then Donghae pulls away and Sungmin whines, wishing that Donghae will go back to sucking him off.
"Hey," Donghae says, looking curious, "do you think you could take both of us?"
It takes a second for Sungmin to realize what exactly Donghae means.
"No." He replies, and Donghae pouts, obviously disappointed. "I'm good, but not that good." Sungmin motions for Donghae to come closer. Donghae does so, slowly crawling up the length of Sungmin's body and lovingly nudges his nose against Sungmin's cheek. "You'll get your turn." Sungmin promises.
Donghae will get his turn, but it's Hyukjae who goes first. He's the one who's obviously wanted this the most, or for the longest and Donghae is nothing if not a good friend. Sungmin decides riding Hyukjae sounds like a good idea, and he's smirking as he pushes Hyukjae down on his back.
Sliding onto Hyukjae's cock, taking every inch of him, is an incredible feeling. Hyukjae's rougher, more eager than Sungmin anticipated, and he's forceful as he thrusts up into Sungmin. He plants his feet down on the bed to steady himself, helping to create a stable, but intense rhythm.
Hyukjae doesn't take too long to reach his climax. The hand wrapped around the base of Sungmin's cock keeps him from doing the same.
Donghae wastes no time taking over once he realizes Hyukjae is done. He pulls Sungmin off of a gasping Hyukjae, and rests him on his back. While Hyukjae was rough, passionate, it turns out Donghae is a little slower, a little more romantic. He kisses Sungmin slowly as he pushes into him. It's not really, but Sungmin knows this is the closest to lovemaking he's ever come to.
While the pace Donghae sets is at times frustratingly slow, he does get them both there.
Sungmin falls asleep trapped between Donghae and Hyukjae.
The next morning he wakes up with a splitting headache, and it feels like he's going to die. A wave of nausea so intense hits him and Sungmin has to get up, quickly, and rush towards the bathroom. It's while kneeling next to the toilet, throwing up everything he had to drink the previous day, that Sungmin realizes what it is he did and with whom.
He feels, well, Sungmin isn't sure what he feels. Guilty? Yes, because Sungmin knows he used Donghae and Hyukjae; he used his only friends in the world to forget the fact that the man he loves was busy marrying someone else.
It won't happen again. It can't happen again, and right now Sungmin can't face them. When he gets to the bedroom, he's relieved to see they're both still fast asleep. Without Sungmin the middle, Donghae's spread himself over Hyukjae. Sungmin has learned Donghae enjoys cuddling.
While they sleep, Sungmin pulls his clothes on as quietly as possible. It's quite the task; his clothes are mixed in with Donghae's and Hyukjae's and he's nervous they'll wake up and see him slipping out like a thief in the night.
Sungmin gets out of the room and has to lean against a wall and breathe. It's a stupid waste of valuable time because when he looks up again, Donghae is standing there, dressed in only the pair of pants from the night before. They're wrinkled after spending the whole night on the floor.
"This is never going to happen again, is it?" Donghae never beats around the bush. He can't lie or pretend, he always says, so he doesn't try.
"No." Sungmin replies, shaking his head. The headache is still there, still extremely powerful, and his whole brain protests at the excessive movement.
"Do you regret it?" Donghae looks lost, alone, and Sungmin's heart breaks.
He moves close in a few quick strides. "No." He replies before kissing Donghae lightly. "I don't." And he really doesn't. He regrets using his friends, but he doesn't regret the act itself. "But I love Youngwoon."
"Even after everything he's done?"
"Do I wish I could just stop feeling the way I do? Yeah, of course, but I can't. It doesn't work that way."
"Hyukjae loves you." Donghae says as Sungmin turns to leave. "He's in love with you. Probably has been since the first time you walked into that cafeteria."
"I know."
Sungmin leaves without another word.
=+=
Youngwoon is married.
It still hurts, it will always hurt, but Sungmin is okay. He can live with it and, like before, he doesn't see Yoon-ji enough to be bothered about her presence. The first few months he can't share Youngwoon's bed because she's there, but Youngwoon often slips into his room and when Youngwoon fucks him it's almost like nothing's changed.
For those few hours when it's just the two of them, Sungmin can pretend - he's become so good at pretending - that the only people who matter are him and Youngwoon and they have no responsibilities to anyone else.
"You're my favorite." Youngwoon will whisper to him in the silence of the night.
Sungmin will smile and say, "You're my favorite, too."
=+=
For a few weeks after the wedding, Sungmin avoids both Donghae and Hyukjae. When there's a cleanup job they need to do, Sungmin will always make sure he's gone before they arrive. He misses them; they're his only friends in the world and being without them is hard, but Sungmin doesn't deserve their friendship and so he'll leave them alone. He won't hurt them again.
That plan is all good in theory, but it's Hyukjae who shoots that plan down.
"It happened, okay? It shouldn't have, but it did."
Sungmin never thought Hyukjae would be brave enough to show up at the house, but Youngwoon is away and Yoon-ji is off doing whatever it is she does.
"But we're both adults and we can get over it. You're our friend - neither Donghae nor I want to see you close yourself from us."
Hyukjae's lips say one thing and his eyes say another. Sungmin knows Hyukjae's hurting. He knows what it feels like to have your heart broken, but he really doesn't want to give up his friendship with Hyukjae.
"So are we good?" Hyukjae asks, hopeful.
"We're good."
They're good.
=+=
A year into Youngwoon's marriage, Yoon-ji finally acts upon her attraction towards Sungmin.
She does it in a way Sungmin never expected her to. She does it in a way she knows she'll get what she wants - she goes to Youngwoon. Of course there's no way Youngwoon will agree to his wife sleeping with his lover, but she knows he'll be tempted by the idea of having them both at the same time. She's smart. She knows how to play people without them realizing it.
Youngwoon knows that too, but he doesn't care. The idea is too enticing for him to care.
"Is this what you want?" Sungmin asks.
Youngwoon hums an affirmative. He kisses Sungmin's exposed shoulder. "It's what I want."
Sungmin closes his eyes. He hates himself a little when he says, "okay."
Sungmin sleeps with them both. It's strange, not nearly as enjoyable as his evening with Hyukjae and Donghae had been. While he fucks Yoon-ji, Youngwoon fucks him and it's not an experience Sungmin cares to repeat. If he'd been unsure, this is the proof he needed that he's not attracted to women.
"Don't ask me to do something like this ever again." Sungmin says after the act as he gets dressed. Youngwoon is lounging on the bed while Yoon-ji's in the shower.
"I won't." Youngwoon promises. "I don't like the idea of her touching you."
How funny, Sungmin thinks with a snort. "Then why did you agree?"
"Because I was curious. Now my curiosity has been sated."
Things go back to normal after that. Or, as normal as things can ever be. Sungmin avoids Yoon-ji as much as possible, Youngwoon wanders into his bedroom when he's not in the mood for his wife and slowly life goes on.
A few months later Yoon-ji and Youngwoon announce, during a public corporate event, that she's pregnant. It's a surprise to everyone, and while people clap and cheer, the only thing keeping Sungmin standing is Donghae's arm around his waist and Hyukjae's hand on his elbow.
Like everyone else, Sungmin congratulates them. He doesn't ask the question he's dying to ask, though - a part of him doesn't want to know.
The baby can't be his, Sungmin tells himself. Of course he's not sure. There's no way he can ask her, and he can't tell how far along she is so he can't do the math and it's too much to actually think about. Sungmin escapes back to the house where he won't think of what the chances are that he might have a child on the way.
The baby is Youngwoon's. It doesn't matter what the truth is, the baby is Youngwoon's.
Sungmin doesn't dare voice his concerns to Youngwoon. The older man is too lost in the thrill of being a father-to-be, so Sungmin decides if there had been any doubt, they must have had tests done and never bothered to tell him.
The pregnancy brings new change. Yoon-ji moves out of Youngwoon's room and into her own. Sungmin isn't sure what prompted the move, but he's not complaining. With Yoon-ji out of the way, it means Sungmin can spend nights in Youngwoon's room again. He can go back to where he belongs.
Youngwoon's seems to agree because the first night they're free to be just together, there are candles to set the mood and red wine from Sungmin's favorite winery, and Sungmin is more charmed than he wants to admit.
With Youngwoon dressed in a suit - he always looks good in them - holding two glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, there's no way Sungmin can resist kissing Youngwoon. They fuck on the floor before getting to the expensive wine, but the night is young and they wind up in bed, drinking wine out of the bottle.
Life goes on.
Yoon-ji is cranky most of the time, disliking the way her body has changed with the pregnancy, but even Sungmin will agree that her condition suits her.
The night she gives birth Sungmin decides to do the math. She carried to term, is delivering mostly on her expected due date so he has enough to work with.
There is a chance the baby could be his.
It isn't, Sungmin tells himself. It's Youngwoon's. Sungmin just has to trust they know something he doesn't. They've done DNA tests. They're sure, they have to be. Still, without knowing for certain, without having it confirmed, Sungmin will always wonder.
It's a girl. She's beautiful.
When Sungmin sees her for the first time, he's blown away by how small, how utterly perfect she is. He wants to hold her; he's sure he'll die if he doesn't get the chance to, and Yoon-ji must see the desire in his eyes because she smiles as she hands little Yu-ni over to him.
"Be careful to support the head," she instructs, "there you go."
Sungmin is so afraid of breaking her, of harming her in any kind of way, but he never wants to let go. She's his. He knows.
Youngwoon is watching them. When he's tired of being stuck on the sidelines, he steps close to Sungmin, circles his arms around Sungmin's waist and buries his nose in Sungmin's hair. Except for that one night, Youngwoon has never touched him in front of Yoon-ji and for a moment Sungmin has no idea how to react to the sudden public display of affection.
"She looks like you."
"What are you saying?" Sungmin asks when he turns around to look at Youngwoon. His heart is beating impossibly fast.
"You know what I'm saying." Youngwoon replies casually.
He must look like he's close to laughing hysterically, or crying, because he finds himself in Youngwoon's embrace again.
Yoon-ji giggles at the two of them. "What a strange family we make."
Sungmin laughs, too, and finds himself agreeing.
=+=
In the eyes of the world, Yu-ni will always be Youngwoon's daughter. As far as she knows, she'll always be Youngwoon's daughter. It breaks Sungmin's heart, knowing he can never tell her the truth, but Youngwoon will be able to give her more than Sungmin ever could. With Youngwoon as her father, every door will be open to her. She'll be able to do anything - the world will be her oyster.
Sungmin supposes this is the hardest thing about being a parent. Doing what's best for your child even if it means hurting yourself in the process.
He's never missed his own parents as much as he does now.
=+=
28 years
Youngwoon smells like cheap perfume. It's disgusting and Sungmin makes a face, but keeps quiet. It will only cause an argument, and he's been summoned to Youngwoon's office to talk about more than whatever woman Youngwoon's fucking now. An argument is brewing, though. Sungmin won't be able to hide his displeasure for too long.
"It's time." Youngwoon says. He throws the folder he's been carrying onto the desk. It skids over across the wood, but Sungmin catches it before it can fall over the edge. "I think you've waited long enough to have your revenge, don't you?"
Sungmin glances at Youngwoon before opening the folder to see the contents inside.
"Yeah, I do."
=+=
Kyuhyun, their little tech expert who has a chip on his shoulder which Sungmin is sure someone will want to knock down one day, is lounging in front of his desk, humming up at the ceiling with that voice of honey of his as lines of code flash on his computer screen.
He makes a protesting noise, something of a whine and a yelp, as Sungmin throws the folder on his desk.
"Don't sneak up on me." Kyuhyun snaps, pulling his earphones off his head.
"Pay attention." Sungmin replies coolly. "I have a job for you - find out everything you can on the Choi family."
Kyuhyun opens the folder. "Other hackers have already done that."
"They're not you, Kyuhyun. I want to know what you can find out." Sungmin leans against Kyuhyun's desk. The movement knocks his Protoss figurine over. The horrified gasp he makes and the way he lovingly rights it is both endearing and ridiculous.
"What exactly are you looking for?" Kyuhyun asks, sending a quick look Sungmin's way as he makes sure his figurine won't fall over again.
"A way in."
=+=
When Sungmin steps foot inside the house he's greeted, as always, by little running feet and joyous giggles. Sungmin scoops Yu-ni in his arms, twirls her around just so he can hear the delighted giggling can morph into euphoric squeals. He gets his wish, and as Yu-ni laughs, breathing ragged from the excitement, Sungmin holds her close.
"Sungminnie," she whines, "doooon't."
"Don't what?"
"Squishing."
"Oh," Sungmin loosens his grip a little, "sorry, little mouse."
"S'kay."
As always, he spends the rest of the afternoon with her. Youngwoon is still at work and Yoon-ji is on a cruise ship somewhere, probably screwing a very pretty cabin boy, or girl. With Yoon-ji, one never really knows.
He loves these moments when it's just the two of them; when neither Youngwoon nor Yoon-ji are around which happens to be more often than it probably should.
Both her parents love her, but Yoon-ji quickly realized motherhood was more than just giving birth and quickly handed her over to the nannies so she could work on getting her figure back by sleeping with her very handsome trainer. Youngwoon, surprisingly, is around more than Sungmin would have guessed and dotes on Yu-ni as often as he can.
It turns out Youngwoon is very good with children, but Sungmin knows he shouldn't be so surprised. When Sungmin had been a child, Youngwoon had charmed him without even trying.
Sometimes, when it's just the three of them, Sungmin feels like they're actually a real family. It's a feeling that never lasts, no matter how hard Sungmin tries to hold onto it, because inevitably something comes along to screw it up.
"You'll tell daddy to come say goodnight, right?" Yu-ni asks later while Sungmin's busy putting her to bed. She's a precious sight tucked in underneath her pink duvet and clutching the stuffed bunny Youngwoon bought the day she was born. It's worn out, no longer as soft as it used to be, but she's attached to the damn thing and won't even think about letting them get rid of it. Yu-ni has multiple toys and stuffed animals, but none of them compare.
"Of course I will." Sungmin knows he won't have to. Youngwoon always checks in on Yu-ni when he gets home.
When she's tucked in and sleeping, Sungmin heads to Youngwoon's bedroom. After taking a shower, he pops open his laptop and checks his email. As predicted, Kyuhyun already has information for Sungmin to go through. It's not a hell of a lot more than they already know, but anything that can give him an edge is appreciated.
"I'll try and find out more." Kyuhyun writes and Sungmin smiles. Youngwoon needs to give the kid a raise.
There are files and files on all the businesses Choi Kiho has. All of them look perfectly fine, until a person starts digging. Like Youngwoon's company, Kiho doesn't necessarily deal in things that the rest of the world would approve of. There are files of drug trafficking, human trafficking and weapons smuggling, and Sungmin knows he's only looking at the surface of everything the Choi business empire has its greedy little hands dipped in.
The business side of it is a little too boring for Sungmin, so he moves on. Honestly, he doesn't know much about the Choi family. He knows about Kiho, of course. How could he not? The man is the reason his parents were murdered, but as for his family, well, all Sungmin knows is that he has a wife and two children.
Sungmin clicks on a file called Jiwon brings up a photo of a young woman, frowns at it before closing it. He pauses when he opens the file named Siwon and takes a moment to consider the handsome face smiling back at him. Siwon, Choi Kiho's only son, would be primed to take over the business. The son and heir - the future of the Choi business empire.
Sungmin smiles - he has the perfect way to hurt Choi Kiho.
Simply killing the old man would be far too simple. Sure, Sungmin could do multiple things to draw his death out, but nothing would give Sungmin as much pleasure as taking everything from the old man. Sungmin doesn't care if Kiho lives to a ripe old age. In fact, the longer he lives, the more pain he'll experience.
Choi Kiho will lose everything, and what better way to start than with the hope and future of the Choi family?
=+=
Youngwoon gives the fastest of glances at the laptop screen that still has Siwon's picture on display. He doesn't bother to pay as much attention to the notebook resting beside Sungmin's knee. He leans against Sungmin's back; Sungmin tries to push him away, the smell of cheap perfume is stronger than before.
"Get off." Sungmin hisses. "You smell like one of your whores."
Youngwoon snorts, but does as Sungmin wishes and lies on the bed instead, spreading out as much as possible. "I take it you have a plan?"
"I'm working on it." Sungmin murmurs. "Why now?" He asks, turning around so they're facing each other. "This isn't about letting me have revenge. I could have done that years ago if it was the case."
"Because it's time." Youngwoon stretches out on the bed, painting a picture of content laziness. "Do you know when I took this company from my father, we were at the bottom of the pile? We were a small fish in a very big pond. I worked us up to get where we are today - we're powerful, very powerful, but Choi Kiho is always a little more powerful and now I think it's time to get rid of the competition. So while you can do whatever you want to Choi Kiho, what I really need is information - I need to know everything I can to take them down, and I need you to find it for me."
"So this was never just a simple assassination mission. This is infiltration and sabotage, too?"
"Bingo." Youngwoon replies. "You've always been more than an assassin. I have faith you'll get what I'm looking for."
"So why didn't you tell me that from the beginning?"
"Because I knew you'd be able to figure it out for yourself."
Sungmin huffs.
=+=
"Do you know we've known each other for twenty years?" Sungmin asks later.
"Hm?"
"I met you when I was eight-years-old."
"Yeah." Youngwoon tries getting closer again. This time Sungmin doesn't push him away. "You were cute."
"We were so close." Sungmin murmurs.
"To what?"
Being a family. Being happy.
When Yu-ni was born, Sungmin really thought everything would click into place and whatever always had Youngwoon wanting more would finally be gone, but Youngwoon's marriage to Yoon-ji crumbled, the initial attraction gone, and neither seemed particularly interested in fixing it because they both had what they wanted.
While Sungmin was glad of it, knowing he had Youngwoon all to himself again, it eventually meant Youngwoon resumed his old ways because he was never satisfied with enough. It took years to realize it, but there's something missing in Youngwoon. Sungmin isn't sure how it got there or who the cause for it is, but he's had to admit that he can't fix Youngwoon.
He tries and always fails. One day he'll die trying.
"Sungmin?"
"Nothing." Sungmin shakes his head, plants a quick kiss on Youngwoon's cheek and scrambles off of the bed with his laptop and notebook in hand.
"Where are you going?"
"To my room. I think I want to sleep alone tonight."
The soft, "Sungmin," stops him before he can leave.
"You're my favorite." Youngwoon says.
Sungmin looks at Youngwoon - stares at him for almost a full minute, taking in the older man's appearance, the look in his eyes as he waits for some kind of response from Sungmin. It hurts looking at Youngwoon, but it's a different kind of pain than before. It's not so sharp anymore. It doesn't feel like it will break Sungmin if he dwells on it too much, but it's there, lurking in his heart, the back of his mind. Always there and never gone.
"Yeah." Sungmin says.
He leaves. Youngwoon doesn't ask him to stay.
=+=
"You must hate him." Hyukjae pops an apple slice into his mouth and nods his head towards the picture of Siwon.
"I don't." Sungmin replies as he scribbles a few notes in his notebook. The sound of his pen's tip on paper is momentarily interrupted by the sound Hyukjae's knife makes as it cuts another piece off of the apple. It's a sharp hissing sound; Sungmin loves it.
"What? Why not? His dad killed yours."
"Yes, his dad, but did he pull the trigger?" Sungmin glances up from the notebook at Siwon's picture. "No, he didn't. Choi Siwon is a target; a means to an end. I don't hate him. I feel nothing for him."
"That's cold." Hyukjae mutters. Sungmin doesn't bother to respond. "So how are you going to work this? What are you actually going to do?"
"I'm going to make nice with Siwon. He's a typical rich boy. Daddy bought him a club to keep him busy and out of trouble. He's there every night with a bunch of his friends. There have been a few scandals with him that the family has managed to keep quiet. Seems Siwon here likes men, and of course religious nut daddy isn't happy with that."
"Weird that he bought Siwon a club then. You'd think that would encourage bad behavior."
"Maybe he figures it's safer for Siwon to get down and dirty with men at his own club then at another."
"What's making nice with Siwon going to do?"
"Hopefully it will lead me to what Youngwoon wants and, when that's done, Siwon will help me get what I want."
"Remind me to never fuck with you, okay?"
"I seem to recall that you already have."
Hyukjae blushes. Sungmin laughs.
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