I am confused. Also, I cannot seem to get away from my constant and all-pervading neuroses and petty worrying about all of the aspects of my life, from the most trivial to the grandest. The only way I can do it is by being one of the other parts of Mark, one of the parts that isn't me. Which is all well and good and fine and dandy, but I am still ( Read more... )

"Allow me, in fact, to be more precise:

I'm tired of half-assing my way through life. I'm tired of getting by with my relationships with others on lies and half-truths. I'm tired of, in school, doing just enough to pass rather than enough to excel. I'm tired of always taking the easiest path through life rather than the best path. I'm tired of my ( Read more... )

All I want to do is be decent, trustworthy, honorable, and noble. Why is that such a FUCKING hard thing to do?

--mark

and all i want to say right now is that i have nothing to say, but i don't know how to say that so i'm going to start talking. i'm going to start talking and i am not going to shut up. i am not going to shut up until i am done not saying what it was that i wasn't going to say. i am going to not say it from the rooftops, from the treetops, from the ( Read more... )

So...I'm back in the Greater Chicagoland Metropolitan Area (henceforth abbreviated GCMA). I got back two days ago, on Wednesday, at 10:30 in the PM ( Read more... )

Last night I dreamt about making sandwiches. No, seriously, I did. And then I was getting them all wrong, and some of them had these really disgusitng looking hamburger patties in them. It was kind of...sad ( Read more... )

I ascended Long's Peak yesterday. 14,270 ft. above sea level. The highest peak in the Rocky Mountain Nat'l Park. Now, you are all my bitches. Bitches.

--mark

p.s. i am very neurotic about calling you all "bitches" and i don't really mean it, it is just to accentuate this entry's braggadocio. sorry.

Today at work one of my co-workers, the admirable Mr. Finley of Alabama, asked me to sum up Chicago in a single word. After about fifteen minutes of thought, I returned to him the answer: "Current. Not 'current' as in 'recent, modern, or new', but 'current' as in that thing possessed by both rivers and electrical wires ( Read more... )

I want to drive across the Trail Ridge Road at daybreak with Abram while listening to Godspeed You! Black Emperor at a terrific volume.

--mark

The other night I dreamt that my (imaginary non-existent) sister & I had been chosen to be the respective leaders of the USSR and the USA during the upcoming Third World War. I was walking down the street at some point, talking to her on a cell phone. We were insulting each other viciously, each one trying to provoke the other one. I looked very ( Read more... )