You know whats sad? I hung on to Cervantes's little dead, shriveled body because I liked him so much. I set him up on the top of my computer desk with my various statuary and trinkets cause I just couldn't bear to throw him out ( Read more... )

oh for fucks sake...
"what?"
Nothing. Nevermind.
"no really, what did you say?"
I said 'for fucks sake'.
"you want steak?"
NO. FOR FUCKS SAKE!But really, that made me lol. On the up side, I just bought a brand new cushy managerial-looking computer chair. It feels much nicer on the hiney than that antique metal ice cream parlour chair I had (which ( Read more... )

Ive been having the most fucked up dreams in the past week, which is odd because I usually don't dream at all any more ( Read more... )

Today in "how to be an art teacher" class, we had to make a cute little "identity map" where you put all the symbols that represent various aspects about yourself and your life. We were to fill in little squares marked "family", "origin", "culture", "politics", etc. Then we got to gather in little groups to discuss ourselves and our cute little ( Read more... )

I just spent over $100 on strippers and whiskey, and I've never been more thrilled in my life. Haha, we always knew that letting me into a strip club was like letting a kid into Toys R' Us with your credit card. I'm sure this is why I've never gone before. I knew it would go that route. This is the same reason I've never shot heroin, and hell, lets ( Read more... )

Today while I was at work some dumbshit broke my window to get a purse out of my back seat. I hope they felt like a dildo when they realized the purse was empty ( Read more... )

I fucking gave Cervantes coffee grounds in his pot and he died.

I thought I was giving him a special treat for Christmas... Coffee grounds are supposed to be good for plants, but apparently not for cactuses. [Or is it cactii] I have had him since August and he means a lot to me. I am going to keep him and see if I can do anything to revive him ( Read more... )

I dyed my hair brown. 3 inches of roots over an old bleach job was making me feel thoroughly white trash so I enlisted the help of my mother who was, incidentally, drunk. She did a mighty fine job though, especially for being such a lightweight when she's on the sauce.

Haha Abbi and I were outside Applebees having a cigarette after dinner when some little girl walks by with her parents. She gave us this gawking rat face and says, "eeeeeeeeeeeew, ciiiiigarettes!" and her parents looked all smug. I wanted to say "awwww someones gonna be ANNOYING when they grow up. Didn't your mommy ever tell you not to talk to ( Read more... )

# of hours waited in line overnight for the Nintendo Wii: 11 ( Read more... )