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1-800-345-LIES
I'm so tired of never getting ahead by telling the truth. All the truth seems to get you is docked points, no job interviews, and loneliness. I wish this could change, or that someone would take heart and more than "appreciating your honesty," reward you for it. I knew the reward is supposed to be internal, whether it's feeling good about yourself ( Read more... ) -
Unable
I'm I unable to be happy for long, extended periods of time? Sure I can be happy when something good happens or when Mark is around, but even then it's not for a long time. Something always bogs me down. Whether it's crappy classes, or bad grades or past mistakes. I regret changing schools but i wouldn't if i was happy here. The money wouldn't even ( Read more... ) -
Things
Things I want right now ( Read more... ) -
Sex Dream and Tearing at the Inseams
Last night I had a full blown sex dream amidst this weird nightmarish sleep. And it wasn't about Mark. It was Luke. I rarely ever have sex dreams, I think this might be my second and that's a stretch but this one included bodily reactions so it was complete. If only I could have those every night. But it was so odd. I haven't thought about Luke is ( Read more... ) -
Food
Food is vicious cycle. Let's think of why we eat. We eat to survive. We eat for pleasure. We eat to fill the time. We eat to make ourselves feel better. We eat to eat.So let's say you make dinner. A delicious pasta meal. A large helping doesn't seem to fill the empty pit of your stomach so you have more. Then after all that salty delicious real ( Read more... ) -
What I've Got
So today's attitude is to work with what I've got. I know, catchy, mysterious title right? But really, living in my regret isn't going to make me any happier, so I am trying (trying being the key word) to move on and learn from my impulsivity. I think I just made a word up, but it's all good. I am in a relatively good mood, but perhaps that is due ( Read more... ) -
Regret
How can you live life without regret? I've heard so many quotes and speeches on the matter, but honestly, can you say you have no regrets about anything you have ever done? I know everyone makes mistakes and some of those must be big enough to bear some regret. I have altogether too much regret. And it's being to come to a culmination as each day ( Read more... ) -
Writer's Block: Sick day
How fitting that today's writer's block deals with sickness. I am sure I am not the only one of that mindset. Being that time of year, I am certain others are thinking it's serendipitous as well. But all the same, I would love to gripe about how when I am sick, I absolutely abhor being alone. Naturally, I am alone. I love most to be taken care of ( Read more... ) -
New Apartment
Sitting in my first apartment and watching bridget jones's diary is quite inspiring when you think about it. Bridget has her ups and downs and ends on an up. Which reminds me, I need to get some food ( Read more... ) -
What's There to be Thankful For?
It's amusing how life works. The first semester I actually miss my family and am looking forward to seeing them, they might not be coming up to Ny for Thanksgiving. I am starting to appreciate how short life is and how disconnected I am from my little brothers. What are they going look back on and remember me by? Me being so far away in college? I ( Read more... )