December 10, 2008 ( Read more... )

Dear Sarah ( Read more... )

One time.

As I lay on the concrete doorstep in front of my house,
I closed my eyes and imagined
a kitchen knife
sliding
across my throat
a red river behind it.

And I thought to myself,
"Wouldn't it be wonderful if I never had to get up?"

Rude awakening. OD'd on pain killers. faint pulse at night. violently ill in the morning. threw the rest up on the way on the hospital. hooked up to IV. released. I guess everybody comes to this point. could've been a lot worse. found the drug i never want to fuck with again. don't want to fuck with any of them again. i'm done.

I find myself wanting to have what I had, for it to be what it was. But it won't, so I have to find myself finding a future to face.

Could you get a chimpanzee to smoke if you didn't put him in a cage first?

How far can I get on $1,319.60?

A passage from The Story of B by Daniel Quinn:

Anywhere in the world, East or West, you can walk up to a stranger and say, "Let me show you how to be saved," and you'll be understood. You may not be believed or welcomed when you speak these words, but you will surely be understood. The fact that you'll be understood should astonish you, but it ( Read more... )

I'd like to think that I'm a good friend. I think I've helped bring some positive changes in people's lives. I wish I could remember it all the time. Someone reminded me tonight and it felt really good. Sometimes we just need to be reminded.

I found my car!