Thinking of you
while I touched myself
did you feel it?
we’re so connected now

I’ve been forcing myself to dream of you
conjuring some imagined passion
and I was kidding
I really was just kidding

but then you wrote to me
all my make-believe came real
and now I want you more than ever

you’re so dangerous to me now
and I have to admit
I fucking love it

you're dead all over again

every time I text her

you die again

and again

and I think it kills her too

but we do it for you

I still hurt myself for you

hitting metal
makes it harder
until it gets brittle
and breaks

I love you even more today
not for any reason, I think
except that your song played on the radio
and it’s the day before the hurricane

I felt you on the wind

you’re in the storm
you are the storm
rolling in to overtake me once again
leaving room for nothing else

only you
always you

I buried my grandmother at 19

I buried my mother at 22

I buried my best friend at 34

All these women

All my dead women

I saw their bodies and their faces

I saw their hair and their closed eyes

I even kissed them

Kissed dead skin

I wept tears on dead flesh

I howled and bellowed like an animal

I showed my animal truth

No words can express true grief

( Read more... )

We were at the kitchen table

during a dank and dreary summer

holding cool cups in warm hands

sitting so quietly with time

and all the hurts unsaid

it was in this moment that I left him

I breathed in for strength

and exhaled his name, soft and solemn

he turned to me then

I watched a sunflower of a smile grow and wilt upon his face

as he felt the ( Read more... )

I would go back in time and change everything for you.

you're here 
you're still alive here 
sitting in the other room
replying to my posts 
faster than I can type them  
I can hear you giggling through the wall
laughing
lying naked next to your new, sweet thing. 
You were a sweet thing, then.

Things get good I guess. Love is real. Life is real. I'm happy with no if ands or buts. But there is always this feeling of how long or how much. I think I've found both but who knows. It's so good for now and I hope it's so goods for forever. I feel like this could be the last post. If the universe is good.

It's like the time you found my nipple through my shirt ( Read more... )