Little Boy Blue. Chapter 7
Again I only wrote part of the chapter I had planned, and again it turned out longer than expected. So at this point, what I had expected to be one chapter is looking like it'll actually be three. Meaning this story will, easily, be the longest Mullet-verse story yet. ...Just thought I should mention. ;)
There are a few references to some Birds of Prey issues. What am I talking about 'a few'? I've shamelessly borrowed a plot device (time travel satellite) and all the technical jargon and such that comes with it. If you're curious, you can read all about it in Birds of Prey issues 4-6 and 28-30. There're dinosaurs, vikings, and technobabble. Fun stuff.
Also, you remember a while back when I mentioned "not-quite-but-sorta Batman/Junior"? Make a little more sense now? ;)
Beta by alba_aulbath.
CHAPTERS: { Prologue }{ Chapter One }{ Chapter Two }{ Chapter Three }{ Chapter Four }{ Chapter Five }{ Chapter Six }{ Chapter Seven }{ Chapter Eight }{ Chapter Nine }{ Chapter Ten }{ Chapter Eleven }{ Epilogue }
<-{ previous story: Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide } { next story: Mullet-verse handbook/guide }->
~7th Chapter
"You're probably wondering why I gathered you all here today," the Question intoned, arms clasped loosely behind his back.
"Does it have anything to do with that time travel satellite I was up all night researching?" Max spoke up flatly.
They were all gathered in the living room, waiting to hear the Question's master plan. Question was pacing in front of them. Junior and Goldie had sprawled over each other on the couch while Max sat on the end furthest from them and tried to avoid random limbs, and not so random limbs when Goldie tried to get back at him for earlier "monster face" by poking him with her bare foot. Booster and Ted had both tried for the same chair and neither seemed interested in giving it up to the other despite the fact that there was another chair right next to it, so they had briefly fought over it and then subsided into just occasionally shoving each other.
"Aw, don't spoil the ending you putz," Goldie protested, shoving Max's shoulder with her toes.
"Can I help it if it's so obvious?"
"I'll bet you told people about Vader being Luke's dad."
"He told me," Junior piped up, raising his hand a little.
"You already knew!" Max protested, batting away Goldie's foot.
"Well actually, I--"
"You'd seen it three times!" At that, all three started arguing at once, amid various hand wavings and gestures. According to Junior, due to a technicality Max actually had been the one to tell him about the Skywalker family tree. Max's position was that the movies were so old even dim-witted cave-dwelling chimps in countries that had never heard of English, much less George Lucas, knew that Darth Vader was Luke's father and it wasn't his fault that circumstances had somehow conspired to keep Junior from finding that out from the movie during one of his multiple viewings. Especially since Junior had been the one to show Max the movies in the first place.
Goldie was just arguing with Max out of principle and seemed content to keep poking the man while Junior made the relevant points.
"It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye," Question berated calmly.
Max turned his own inhuman eyes to the faceless man and glared. "That was unnecessarily personal."
"But true."
"Fine," Max said, shoving Goldie's foot before she could get her big toe in his ear. "Enlighten us."
"Last night I spoke to myself--"
"Somehow that doesn't shock me," Max muttered, but quickly subsided when Question turned to stare at him.
"Preparations have been made in the past," Question continued. "Oracle is familiar with the process of extracting wayward travelers from an unfamiliar time and believes the same can be done here, with the satellite. Same principle, different direction."
"Wait, you're talking about the Project Yesterday mission, right?" Max asked. "With Black Canary? I've read about that. The principles aren't the same. Oracle guided Canary on a narrowcast frequency to make sure she entered the temporal field at the right time in order to get to...in order to travel to the correct time." He motioned to Ted and Booster. "They don't have that. We don't have a way to communicate between the two times."
"We don't, Ted does," Question corrected, turning to face the man.
Realizing everyone was staring at him, Ted sat up and looked around in surprise. "What?" he protested. "I don't even have a cell phone on me."
"No, you have something better. Your daughter saw fit to...strengthen the familial ties between you. Having no blood, she used what she did have."
Max's eyebrows rose. "Nanites," he breathed. "I can't believe I didn't think of that. I knew--" He shook his head. "So she'll communicate through the nanites and--"
"Hang on!" Ted snapped. "Everyone seems to know a hell of a lot more about me than I do, here."
"You've got nanites in you," Junior explained calmly, as if tiny robots in one's body were no big deal. "Bug put them there. Sharing blood, sharing nanites, it's...." He waved a hand and shrugged. "It's an AI thing."
"I have nanites in me?!"
"I thought he knew by now," Max murmured to Junior.
"He didn't know."
"When did he find out?"
"Just now apparently."
"Damn."
"Excuse me!" Ted interrupted irritably, swatting away Booster's hand. "Nanites. In me. The same things that turned Max into...into that?!"
Max glowered at him. Ted glared back.
"Maybe you should take this up with Bug when we get back," Booster suggested gently. "In the mean time, let's...you know, get back."
Ted crossed his arms over his chest and frowned, but nodded.
Junior cleared his throat. "So the plan is, we get the satellite, Bug tells us through the you-know-whats when they can go home, they go home, and we all go out for ice cream in celebration of a job well done?"
Question nodded. "Yes."
"I like this plan," Junior said.
"But where's the wacky shenanigans?" Goldie asked wistfully. "The hijinks? The tomfoolery?"
"That would probably be the getting the satellite part," Max enunciated. He looked at Question. "My turn now?"
When Question inclined his head and sat down in the unoccupied chair, Max stood and took his place. "The Russian satellite 4578 CCCP, once upon a time, took a little trip around the sun. When it came back, it was covered in magic space particles like tachyons and neutrinos that made it possible for living, organic tissue to travel from one time to another. Since there wasn't any way to choose your destination, it was, at best, a flawed method of such travel. At worst...well, has anyone heard of the Lake Mackachitahoo Monster? So naturally the government decided to play with it. This resulted in the formation of--"
"Is there a point to this?" Booster asked boredly.
"It's backstory," Max replied, frowning in annoyance. "And means I won't have to answer a bunch of stupid questions later, provided you're paying attention. May I continue?"
Booster waved a hand and Max straightened. "Right. This resulted in the formation of Project Yesterday, which turned out to be a resounding failure when the late, great supervillainess Cheshire made a sudden, unexpected appearance from the time field and massacred almost the entire Project Yesterday team. Which is when Oracle and Black Canary were called in, to go back in time to extract the previously stranded Ravens: Pistolera, Vicious, and Cheshire--yes I know she was already in the present then, but she was also in the past and apparently the higher ups at Star Labs were stupid enough to think they could prevent the wholesale slaughter of their project, despite what Professor Orenstein told them about paradox and causality and it generally being moronic to try to stop something that had already happened. Canary went to the past, Oracle stayed in the present and communicated with her through the receiver/transmitter Canary was wearing to coordinate when they should enter the time field, and once the window was open they just walked up to the satellite and they were home.
"After that things get a little less well-documented. The satellite changed hands several times over, left the country on at least one occasion, and may have been used with or without any number of goverments' sanctions. Currently it's in the US being held by an organization with, at best, morally ambiguous intentions for it. Unfortunately, they also have a legitimate business as a very well-established and widely-accepted front. They even have a few, very few, government contracts." Max raised an eyebrow. "What that means for us is that we can't just call them up and politely request the use of their time travel satellite for the afternoon. And it would look bad for us if we broke in and stole it. They might even feel confident enough to call in some heroes to stop us.
"Not only that, but the security system is an AI and I can't hack it. I could probably take it out if I had physical access to it, but trying to take it on digitally would be entirely too risky."
"What, it'd give you a nasty virus?" Ted asked darkly.
"You ever been lobotomized, gramps?" Max snapped.
"Does a bullet to the brain count?"
Max growled in frustrated irritation. "I wouldn't know, I've never shot anyone."
Jumping to his feet, Ted stalked up to Max and poked him in the chest. "Like hell you haven't! I remember--"
"That wasn't me!" Max shouted, shoving him back. "That was some meat puppet with a psychotic Bat program pulling its strings! Maybe you remember, but I don't. I've seen the footage! I've heard the stories! I have no memories of it!"
They stared at each other for a long, charged moment, seething. Finally, Ted spoke, his voice quiet and strangled, "Well I do. I remember all of it."
"Then that's your burden to bear. Mine is to keep being blamed for...the sins of the father, as it were. So go ahead and hate me for something I didn't do. It makes no difference to me, I want you gone either way. You will eventually get over it, and I prefer that Ted Kord over you any day."
Ted started in surprise as Booster dropped a hand onto his shoulder from behind, then glanced back at the man. Tugging his arm, Booster silently led Ted out of the living room and back to the room they had slept in, closing the door behind them. After a few moments, those still assembled heard a muffled sob.
"Let's take a break," Max whispered, swallowing as he stared down at his feet. "Jujubee, can I borrow...."
Junior nodded and motioned with his head toward the door of his lab. "Go ahead, call Ron."
Without another word, Max left.
A moment later, Question murmured solemnly, "Bleed the wound to heal the infection."
Leaning his head against Goldie's shoulder as they hugged loosely, Junior sighed, "Yeah, but it still hurts."
"That's how you know it's working."
---------------
Booster had known about the nightmares, it was hard not to when he shared a bed with the man, so he knew it was still on Ted's mind. When pressed, Ted had admitted he remembered everything up to and including his death. He remembered the horror, fear, and betrayal of realizing that one of his oldest friends had been orchestrating a vast conspiracy designed to keep track of and potentially hurt other people he considered friends. That one of his oldest friends was already responsible for hurting another of his oldest friends. Was responsible for a lot of things.
Ted remembered fighting for his life, knowing he was going to die, and making a last stand.
He remembered Max's face as he pulled the trigger.
Booster had thought Ted was dealing with it. Apparently he hadn't been.
So now Booster had his arms full of a shuddering Ted, crying on his shoulder and speaking in starts and stutters of broken sentences. Ted was clinging to him like he expected Booster to disappear any minute, and all Booster could do was hold him and make soothing sounds as the man slowly wound down.
After a while Ted finally seemed to calm, leaning against Booster and sniffling as the man gently rocked him. Ted loosened his grip a little and shifted his head, fitting his nose against Booster's collarbone.
"Didn't make sense," he whispered, voice rough from his tears. "He was...he was our friend. And he.... I wanted to believe it was a joke. A horrible, cruel joke."
"Shh...I know," Booster murmured, stroking Ted's hair.
Ted sniffed and gave a choked laugh. "He...he said he thought it'd be me or Batman who figured it out. But...his money was on me." Another small sob escaped him and he shuddered. "How's that for fair? The...murdering, criminal mastermind bad guy had more faith in me than...." He lifted his head to stare at Booster bleakly. "Everyone."
"I believed you," Booster said quietly, cupping Ted's cheek with one hand and wiping at the tears with his thumb. "I still believe in you. You're the smartest guy I know, Ted." He paused, then smiled tentatively. "Except Batman, but he's a dick."
That startled a laugh from Ted. "He is," he agreed, a wobbly smile tugging at his lips. "He really, really is. Why'd we ever like that guy?"
Booster grinned. "Because we thought he was cool. All...dark...and mysterious. And...professional."
"But no fun."
Leaning his forehead against Ted's, Booster moved his hand to cup the back of the man's head. "Not any," he said. "You're way more fun."
"You're just saying that 'cause you want in my pants," Ted murmured teasingly.
Booster snickered. "No, I'm saying it because it's true. I want in your pants because you're hot."
"Hotter than Batman?"
"No contest."
Ted smiled wryly. "Now I know you're just saying that."
"No," Booster said solemnly. "I'm not. He never smiles, Ted. You...you have a really nice smile."
"...Oh."
When Booster kissed him, Ted tasted like tears. But he felt like he was smiling.
---------------
"Do robots cry electric tears?"
Max snorted and smiled in spite of himself, staring unblinkingly at the rectangular head on the screen. "Didn't I hear somewhere that you used to be a boot-licking lackey?" he asked. "What changed, L-Ron?"
"It was minimum wage and a silly paper hat that broke me, as I recall," the robot replied.
"Ah for those halcyon days," Max sighed with mock wistfulness. "When men were men and minions did your bidding."
"You have minions?"
"I regret missing the Eighties, Ronnie," Max continued as if the robot hadn't spoken. "I think I really could've made it."
"Not really."
"I could've been somebody," Max insisted.
"A heartless, blood-sucking conman with little regard for his fellow being?"
"People would've listened to me!"
"I wonder what that's like."
Sitting back in the chair, Max cupped his chin and stared off into the distance thoughtfully. After a while he said quietly, "He really, really hates me."
"He hates someone who looks like you."
Max turned to once again face the screen, leaning an elbow on the table. "Someone I was."
"That's debatable."
"Debate requires a willingness to listen to logic and reason."
"He'll have to," L-Ron pointed out, tilting his head. "You're working together, aren't you?"
Max groaned and buried his face in his hands. "What have I gotten myself into?"
"A wacky shenanigan, from the sound of things."
Lifting his head, Max grimaced at the robot. "Clearly I've fallen victim to the madness that no doubt runs in this family."
"Or you're secretly an adrenaline junkie."
Max sniffed and lifted his nose indignantly. "Please," he sneered.
"I've seen the way you grin when you're hacking classified information."
"Not even remotely the same."
"Of course not," L-Ron agreed easily.
"It's not!" Max protested. "And anyway we're getting off the subject."
"Folie à famille?"
"Yes, funny, my entire family is insane." Max shook his head. "You know, if this plan of Junior's actually works...it'll be nice to see Grampa Ted again. Not this...."
"Angry man probably overwhelmed getting used to being alive again who's suddenly come face to face with a sobering reminder that he was murdered by someone wearing the face of a friend?"
Max frowned irritably at him. "Aren't you supposed to be taking my side?"
"Just trying to put things in perspective."
"Yeah," Max sighed. "Fine, he has every right to be angry at the crap he's gone through. I just wish he'd focus that anger on something more productive than hating me. ...Like hating the old Batman. It worked for Booster."
L-Ron tilted his head. "You're suggesting a course of action endorsed by Booster Gold?"
"Stop being right, it's annoying."
"I shall endeavor to do so, your sulkiness."
Max snorted and shook his head, smiling. "We should have these little heart-to-hearts more often, L-Ron," he said sarcastically, a hint of affection in his synthesized voice. "You know how I look forward to them."
"Always happy to help, my shining hour."
---------------
"Tim!" Junior greeted happily, as he opened the front door. "What brings you to our little corner of the world?"
"I wanted to apologize for earlier," the dark-haired man said, entering as Junior motioned him inside. "But I am worried about you."
"Aw, that's sweet of you. You're a nice guy, Tim. Why, just the other day I was saying to Goldie, 'We should invite that nice Timmy fellow over for a hot, sweaty threesome.'"
Tim just stared at him firmly and after a moment Junior furrowed his brow and pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Not even a smile? Wow, you must be worried. Or I'm losing my touch." He sighed and placed his hands on his hips. "Tim, there's nothing to worry about. I'm perfectly fine. It's Goldie you should worry about, she had a building fall on her yesterday."
"I don't mean physically, and I don't mean the fight. Blue, I'm worried about your mind." Tim raised a hand. "Your behavior's been erratic ever since Ted and Booster--And then this obsessive quest to find them. I'm just concerned for your sanity."
"I am perfectly sane," Junior said firmly. "I have a certificate and everything." He beamed. "Wanna see? It's...." He frowned, looking around. "It's around here somewhere."
Tim hung his head, letting out a frustrated breath. "No, I don't want to see your certificate."
"Are you sure? It's really nice. Thick paper, a stamp--"
"I'm sure," Tim insisted. "Look, I know this has been hard on you--"
"I don't mind, really," Junior said, shaking his head. "And I really think I'm on to something that'll make everything better."
"Junior, people don't get better from being vaporized!" Tim snapped finally.
"Uh, is this a bad time?"
Both men turned to see Booster standing in the doorway with a curious expression on his face. Junior glanced over at Tim, who was staring in disbelief, and grinned.
"Tim, this is my dad. Dad, this is Tim," Junior introduced, motioning between the two.
"Ah, we were getting ready to start planning," Booster said.
"Great!" Looping an arm with Tim's, Junior tugged the man toward the door. "Come in to my parlor," he invited.
-----
Because no doubt someone will wonder, folie à famille is similar to folie à deux, "a madness shared by two," and actually refers to the whole family. So "a madness shared by family." It's a real term, I didn't make it up.
[ETA of chapter the eighth: plotted, partially written]
Mullet-verse handbook/guide. (AKA "Are you as lost as I am?")
There are a few references to some Birds of Prey issues. What am I talking about 'a few'? I've shamelessly borrowed a plot device (time travel satellite) and all the technical jargon and such that comes with it. If you're curious, you can read all about it in Birds of Prey issues 4-6 and 28-30. There're dinosaurs, vikings, and technobabble. Fun stuff.
Also, you remember a while back when I mentioned "not-quite-but-sorta Batman/Junior"? Make a little more sense now? ;)
Beta by alba_aulbath.
CHAPTERS: { Prologue }{ Chapter One }{ Chapter Two }{ Chapter Three }{ Chapter Four }{ Chapter Five }{ Chapter Six }{ Chapter Seven }{ Chapter Eight }{ Chapter Nine }{ Chapter Ten }{ Chapter Eleven }{ Epilogue }
<-{ previous story: Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide } { next story: Mullet-verse handbook/guide }->
~7th Chapter
"You're probably wondering why I gathered you all here today," the Question intoned, arms clasped loosely behind his back.
"Does it have anything to do with that time travel satellite I was up all night researching?" Max spoke up flatly.
They were all gathered in the living room, waiting to hear the Question's master plan. Question was pacing in front of them. Junior and Goldie had sprawled over each other on the couch while Max sat on the end furthest from them and tried to avoid random limbs, and not so random limbs when Goldie tried to get back at him for earlier "monster face" by poking him with her bare foot. Booster and Ted had both tried for the same chair and neither seemed interested in giving it up to the other despite the fact that there was another chair right next to it, so they had briefly fought over it and then subsided into just occasionally shoving each other.
"Aw, don't spoil the ending you putz," Goldie protested, shoving Max's shoulder with her toes.
"Can I help it if it's so obvious?"
"I'll bet you told people about Vader being Luke's dad."
"He told me," Junior piped up, raising his hand a little.
"You already knew!" Max protested, batting away Goldie's foot.
"Well actually, I--"
"You'd seen it three times!" At that, all three started arguing at once, amid various hand wavings and gestures. According to Junior, due to a technicality Max actually had been the one to tell him about the Skywalker family tree. Max's position was that the movies were so old even dim-witted cave-dwelling chimps in countries that had never heard of English, much less George Lucas, knew that Darth Vader was Luke's father and it wasn't his fault that circumstances had somehow conspired to keep Junior from finding that out from the movie during one of his multiple viewings. Especially since Junior had been the one to show Max the movies in the first place.
Goldie was just arguing with Max out of principle and seemed content to keep poking the man while Junior made the relevant points.
"It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye," Question berated calmly.
Max turned his own inhuman eyes to the faceless man and glared. "That was unnecessarily personal."
"But true."
"Fine," Max said, shoving Goldie's foot before she could get her big toe in his ear. "Enlighten us."
"Last night I spoke to myself--"
"Somehow that doesn't shock me," Max muttered, but quickly subsided when Question turned to stare at him.
"Preparations have been made in the past," Question continued. "Oracle is familiar with the process of extracting wayward travelers from an unfamiliar time and believes the same can be done here, with the satellite. Same principle, different direction."
"Wait, you're talking about the Project Yesterday mission, right?" Max asked. "With Black Canary? I've read about that. The principles aren't the same. Oracle guided Canary on a narrowcast frequency to make sure she entered the temporal field at the right time in order to get to...in order to travel to the correct time." He motioned to Ted and Booster. "They don't have that. We don't have a way to communicate between the two times."
"We don't, Ted does," Question corrected, turning to face the man.
Realizing everyone was staring at him, Ted sat up and looked around in surprise. "What?" he protested. "I don't even have a cell phone on me."
"No, you have something better. Your daughter saw fit to...strengthen the familial ties between you. Having no blood, she used what she did have."
Max's eyebrows rose. "Nanites," he breathed. "I can't believe I didn't think of that. I knew--" He shook his head. "So she'll communicate through the nanites and--"
"Hang on!" Ted snapped. "Everyone seems to know a hell of a lot more about me than I do, here."
"You've got nanites in you," Junior explained calmly, as if tiny robots in one's body were no big deal. "Bug put them there. Sharing blood, sharing nanites, it's...." He waved a hand and shrugged. "It's an AI thing."
"I have nanites in me?!"
"I thought he knew by now," Max murmured to Junior.
"He didn't know."
"When did he find out?"
"Just now apparently."
"Damn."
"Excuse me!" Ted interrupted irritably, swatting away Booster's hand. "Nanites. In me. The same things that turned Max into...into that?!"
Max glowered at him. Ted glared back.
"Maybe you should take this up with Bug when we get back," Booster suggested gently. "In the mean time, let's...you know, get back."
Ted crossed his arms over his chest and frowned, but nodded.
Junior cleared his throat. "So the plan is, we get the satellite, Bug tells us through the you-know-whats when they can go home, they go home, and we all go out for ice cream in celebration of a job well done?"
Question nodded. "Yes."
"I like this plan," Junior said.
"But where's the wacky shenanigans?" Goldie asked wistfully. "The hijinks? The tomfoolery?"
"That would probably be the getting the satellite part," Max enunciated. He looked at Question. "My turn now?"
When Question inclined his head and sat down in the unoccupied chair, Max stood and took his place. "The Russian satellite 4578 CCCP, once upon a time, took a little trip around the sun. When it came back, it was covered in magic space particles like tachyons and neutrinos that made it possible for living, organic tissue to travel from one time to another. Since there wasn't any way to choose your destination, it was, at best, a flawed method of such travel. At worst...well, has anyone heard of the Lake Mackachitahoo Monster? So naturally the government decided to play with it. This resulted in the formation of--"
"Is there a point to this?" Booster asked boredly.
"It's backstory," Max replied, frowning in annoyance. "And means I won't have to answer a bunch of stupid questions later, provided you're paying attention. May I continue?"
Booster waved a hand and Max straightened. "Right. This resulted in the formation of Project Yesterday, which turned out to be a resounding failure when the late, great supervillainess Cheshire made a sudden, unexpected appearance from the time field and massacred almost the entire Project Yesterday team. Which is when Oracle and Black Canary were called in, to go back in time to extract the previously stranded Ravens: Pistolera, Vicious, and Cheshire--yes I know she was already in the present then, but she was also in the past and apparently the higher ups at Star Labs were stupid enough to think they could prevent the wholesale slaughter of their project, despite what Professor Orenstein told them about paradox and causality and it generally being moronic to try to stop something that had already happened. Canary went to the past, Oracle stayed in the present and communicated with her through the receiver/transmitter Canary was wearing to coordinate when they should enter the time field, and once the window was open they just walked up to the satellite and they were home.
"After that things get a little less well-documented. The satellite changed hands several times over, left the country on at least one occasion, and may have been used with or without any number of goverments' sanctions. Currently it's in the US being held by an organization with, at best, morally ambiguous intentions for it. Unfortunately, they also have a legitimate business as a very well-established and widely-accepted front. They even have a few, very few, government contracts." Max raised an eyebrow. "What that means for us is that we can't just call them up and politely request the use of their time travel satellite for the afternoon. And it would look bad for us if we broke in and stole it. They might even feel confident enough to call in some heroes to stop us.
"Not only that, but the security system is an AI and I can't hack it. I could probably take it out if I had physical access to it, but trying to take it on digitally would be entirely too risky."
"What, it'd give you a nasty virus?" Ted asked darkly.
"You ever been lobotomized, gramps?" Max snapped.
"Does a bullet to the brain count?"
Max growled in frustrated irritation. "I wouldn't know, I've never shot anyone."
Jumping to his feet, Ted stalked up to Max and poked him in the chest. "Like hell you haven't! I remember--"
"That wasn't me!" Max shouted, shoving him back. "That was some meat puppet with a psychotic Bat program pulling its strings! Maybe you remember, but I don't. I've seen the footage! I've heard the stories! I have no memories of it!"
They stared at each other for a long, charged moment, seething. Finally, Ted spoke, his voice quiet and strangled, "Well I do. I remember all of it."
"Then that's your burden to bear. Mine is to keep being blamed for...the sins of the father, as it were. So go ahead and hate me for something I didn't do. It makes no difference to me, I want you gone either way. You will eventually get over it, and I prefer that Ted Kord over you any day."
Ted started in surprise as Booster dropped a hand onto his shoulder from behind, then glanced back at the man. Tugging his arm, Booster silently led Ted out of the living room and back to the room they had slept in, closing the door behind them. After a few moments, those still assembled heard a muffled sob.
"Let's take a break," Max whispered, swallowing as he stared down at his feet. "Jujubee, can I borrow...."
Junior nodded and motioned with his head toward the door of his lab. "Go ahead, call Ron."
Without another word, Max left.
A moment later, Question murmured solemnly, "Bleed the wound to heal the infection."
Leaning his head against Goldie's shoulder as they hugged loosely, Junior sighed, "Yeah, but it still hurts."
"That's how you know it's working."
---------------
Booster had known about the nightmares, it was hard not to when he shared a bed with the man, so he knew it was still on Ted's mind. When pressed, Ted had admitted he remembered everything up to and including his death. He remembered the horror, fear, and betrayal of realizing that one of his oldest friends had been orchestrating a vast conspiracy designed to keep track of and potentially hurt other people he considered friends. That one of his oldest friends was already responsible for hurting another of his oldest friends. Was responsible for a lot of things.
Ted remembered fighting for his life, knowing he was going to die, and making a last stand.
He remembered Max's face as he pulled the trigger.
Booster had thought Ted was dealing with it. Apparently he hadn't been.
So now Booster had his arms full of a shuddering Ted, crying on his shoulder and speaking in starts and stutters of broken sentences. Ted was clinging to him like he expected Booster to disappear any minute, and all Booster could do was hold him and make soothing sounds as the man slowly wound down.
After a while Ted finally seemed to calm, leaning against Booster and sniffling as the man gently rocked him. Ted loosened his grip a little and shifted his head, fitting his nose against Booster's collarbone.
"Didn't make sense," he whispered, voice rough from his tears. "He was...he was our friend. And he.... I wanted to believe it was a joke. A horrible, cruel joke."
"Shh...I know," Booster murmured, stroking Ted's hair.
Ted sniffed and gave a choked laugh. "He...he said he thought it'd be me or Batman who figured it out. But...his money was on me." Another small sob escaped him and he shuddered. "How's that for fair? The...murdering, criminal mastermind bad guy had more faith in me than...." He lifted his head to stare at Booster bleakly. "Everyone."
"I believed you," Booster said quietly, cupping Ted's cheek with one hand and wiping at the tears with his thumb. "I still believe in you. You're the smartest guy I know, Ted." He paused, then smiled tentatively. "Except Batman, but he's a dick."
That startled a laugh from Ted. "He is," he agreed, a wobbly smile tugging at his lips. "He really, really is. Why'd we ever like that guy?"
Booster grinned. "Because we thought he was cool. All...dark...and mysterious. And...professional."
"But no fun."
Leaning his forehead against Ted's, Booster moved his hand to cup the back of the man's head. "Not any," he said. "You're way more fun."
"You're just saying that 'cause you want in my pants," Ted murmured teasingly.
Booster snickered. "No, I'm saying it because it's true. I want in your pants because you're hot."
"Hotter than Batman?"
"No contest."
Ted smiled wryly. "Now I know you're just saying that."
"No," Booster said solemnly. "I'm not. He never smiles, Ted. You...you have a really nice smile."
"...Oh."
When Booster kissed him, Ted tasted like tears. But he felt like he was smiling.
---------------
"Do robots cry electric tears?"
Max snorted and smiled in spite of himself, staring unblinkingly at the rectangular head on the screen. "Didn't I hear somewhere that you used to be a boot-licking lackey?" he asked. "What changed, L-Ron?"
"It was minimum wage and a silly paper hat that broke me, as I recall," the robot replied.
"Ah for those halcyon days," Max sighed with mock wistfulness. "When men were men and minions did your bidding."
"You have minions?"
"I regret missing the Eighties, Ronnie," Max continued as if the robot hadn't spoken. "I think I really could've made it."
"Not really."
"I could've been somebody," Max insisted.
"A heartless, blood-sucking conman with little regard for his fellow being?"
"People would've listened to me!"
"I wonder what that's like."
Sitting back in the chair, Max cupped his chin and stared off into the distance thoughtfully. After a while he said quietly, "He really, really hates me."
"He hates someone who looks like you."
Max turned to once again face the screen, leaning an elbow on the table. "Someone I was."
"That's debatable."
"Debate requires a willingness to listen to logic and reason."
"He'll have to," L-Ron pointed out, tilting his head. "You're working together, aren't you?"
Max groaned and buried his face in his hands. "What have I gotten myself into?"
"A wacky shenanigan, from the sound of things."
Lifting his head, Max grimaced at the robot. "Clearly I've fallen victim to the madness that no doubt runs in this family."
"Or you're secretly an adrenaline junkie."
Max sniffed and lifted his nose indignantly. "Please," he sneered.
"I've seen the way you grin when you're hacking classified information."
"Not even remotely the same."
"Of course not," L-Ron agreed easily.
"It's not!" Max protested. "And anyway we're getting off the subject."
"Folie à famille?"
"Yes, funny, my entire family is insane." Max shook his head. "You know, if this plan of Junior's actually works...it'll be nice to see Grampa Ted again. Not this...."
"Angry man probably overwhelmed getting used to being alive again who's suddenly come face to face with a sobering reminder that he was murdered by someone wearing the face of a friend?"
Max frowned irritably at him. "Aren't you supposed to be taking my side?"
"Just trying to put things in perspective."
"Yeah," Max sighed. "Fine, he has every right to be angry at the crap he's gone through. I just wish he'd focus that anger on something more productive than hating me. ...Like hating the old Batman. It worked for Booster."
L-Ron tilted his head. "You're suggesting a course of action endorsed by Booster Gold?"
"Stop being right, it's annoying."
"I shall endeavor to do so, your sulkiness."
Max snorted and shook his head, smiling. "We should have these little heart-to-hearts more often, L-Ron," he said sarcastically, a hint of affection in his synthesized voice. "You know how I look forward to them."
"Always happy to help, my shining hour."
---------------
"Tim!" Junior greeted happily, as he opened the front door. "What brings you to our little corner of the world?"
"I wanted to apologize for earlier," the dark-haired man said, entering as Junior motioned him inside. "But I am worried about you."
"Aw, that's sweet of you. You're a nice guy, Tim. Why, just the other day I was saying to Goldie, 'We should invite that nice Timmy fellow over for a hot, sweaty threesome.'"
Tim just stared at him firmly and after a moment Junior furrowed his brow and pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Not even a smile? Wow, you must be worried. Or I'm losing my touch." He sighed and placed his hands on his hips. "Tim, there's nothing to worry about. I'm perfectly fine. It's Goldie you should worry about, she had a building fall on her yesterday."
"I don't mean physically, and I don't mean the fight. Blue, I'm worried about your mind." Tim raised a hand. "Your behavior's been erratic ever since Ted and Booster--And then this obsessive quest to find them. I'm just concerned for your sanity."
"I am perfectly sane," Junior said firmly. "I have a certificate and everything." He beamed. "Wanna see? It's...." He frowned, looking around. "It's around here somewhere."
Tim hung his head, letting out a frustrated breath. "No, I don't want to see your certificate."
"Are you sure? It's really nice. Thick paper, a stamp--"
"I'm sure," Tim insisted. "Look, I know this has been hard on you--"
"I don't mind, really," Junior said, shaking his head. "And I really think I'm on to something that'll make everything better."
"Junior, people don't get better from being vaporized!" Tim snapped finally.
"Uh, is this a bad time?"
Both men turned to see Booster standing in the doorway with a curious expression on his face. Junior glanced over at Tim, who was staring in disbelief, and grinned.
"Tim, this is my dad. Dad, this is Tim," Junior introduced, motioning between the two.
"Ah, we were getting ready to start planning," Booster said.
"Great!" Looping an arm with Tim's, Junior tugged the man toward the door. "Come in to my parlor," he invited.
-----
Because no doubt someone will wonder, folie à famille is similar to folie à deux, "a madness shared by two," and actually refers to the whole family. So "a madness shared by family." It's a real term, I didn't make it up.
[ETA of chapter the eighth: plotted, partially written]
Mullet-verse handbook/guide. (AKA "Are you as lost as I am?")