Little Boy Blue. Chapter 11
Potentially useful links: Collective Unconscious, Archetypes, Enneagrams, pastiche (in this case, it's really more "an imitation of an archetype or prototype in order to pay homage to the original creator"). Clearly, liberties have been taken with these, but keep in mind that just because something has a certain name doesn't mean it's exactly the same as everything with that name. ...Or something. *waves hand* Just...just read.
Beta and suggestions by alba_aulbath.
CHAPTERS: { Prologue }{ Chapter One }{ Chapter Two }{ Chapter Three }{ Chapter Four }{ Chapter Five }{ Chapter Six }{ Chapter Seven }{ Chapter Eight }{ Chapter Nine }{ Chapter Ten }{ Chapter Eleven }{ Epilogue }
<-{ previous story: Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide } { next story: Mullet-verse handbook/guide }->
~11th Chapter
The rest of the ride home continued without further incident. Batman called to assure them that the Justice League would not be pursuing them, or taking disciplinary actions. The files Max had sent him were enough evidence that Batman could prove there were illegal goings on in the building they had just escaped, and as such could finally help in an official capacity.
Max thanked him and casually suggested he might want to look into having the extent of Androgenie's powers tested. Soon.
Then there was no more to say, except for Junior and Goldie cooing a flirty goodbye to Batman in unison, until they got home.
When they reached the house, Junior stumbled away from Goldie's guiding arm to shuffle into the kitchen. Shedding his gloves on the counter, he slumped against the side of the sink and snorted. He winced a few times, but continued snorting and sniffing, then screwed up his face and spat a wad of congealing blood into the sink. Behind him, Goldie made a sound of disgust.
With a pained sigh, Junior snagged a papertowel from the roll and slumped further as he wiped at his nose with it. Then he pushed himself away from the sink, turned around, and slumped against the refrigerator. A moment later, he opened it, slid to his knees, and rested his head on a shelf.
"So I guess it would be pretty stupid to ask how you're feeling," Booster remarked.
"Nnngg," Junior muttered in response.
"Blue," Max sighed.
"I don't care how psychosomatic it is, Max," Junior mumbled. "I'm staring at a can of corn and already I feel better."
Max threw up his hands in defeat and shook his head.
"And don't...don't get any ideas about changing things," he directed at Ted and Booster, pointing haphazardly behind himself, presumably at where he thought they were. "I'm fine now. I've learned a valuable life lesson...or something like that. You can't...change things, there's no telling what effects it'll have."
"Such as you not being brain damaged?" Ted suggested sarcastically.
Junior snorted, then flinched. "Nnngg. Such as.... Okay look, how many times have you gotten beat up? I know you've been put in a coma before. And Booster, didn't you lose a whole arm once?"
"We don't talk about that," Booster and Ted said in unison, then gave each other speculative looks.
"Right, so...a little bleeding from the brain's no big deal. Really. And...you could totally screw things up. I mean...there's always gonna be good and bad in the world, but...I think right now we've got a pretty okay balance. Not too hot, not too cold, just right. Goldilocks approved. So don't go futzing with time. If you knew the kind of things that were on the line here, and you'll find out eventually, you'd kick yourselves for even thinking it. So...yeah. I'm gonna take a quick nap before we go looking for my folks." Junior sniffed and the hand holding the papertowel disappeared into the fridge with his head.
"Not in there you're not," Goldie told him, striding forward and bending to grab him under the armpits. "C'mon, off to bed."
Junior groaned a half-hearted protest but stood up with minimal pulling and prodding. "Evil, evil woman."
"I'll be your archnemesis."
"Groovy."
"I'm gonna...head out," Max said slowly, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. "Let Mom know you're done with her body."
"Hey yeah, where was she during our little escapade?" Goldie asked.
Max shrugged. "VR. I think she said something about beta-testing."
Head lolling on Goldie's shoulder, Junior made an "okay" gesture with one hand and grinned at him. "Thanks for the help, Max," he said. "And congratulations."
Max's brow furrowed in confusion. "Congrat--What?"
Junior pointed at the thin strip of metal and clear plastic cradled in Max's hand. "Bug'll be so happy to be a grandma."
Eyebrows shooting up, Max sputtered, "I'm not--I'm not adopting the damn thing!"
"Already named it," Goldie confided to Junior.
"Yeah?"
"Little Spooky."
"Aw, that's so sweet." Junior batted his eyelashes and grinned.
"I'm not," Max insisted irritably. "I couldn't just leave it there. It was tantamount to child abuse!"
Junior patted his shoulder as he passed. "Just let me know when to get a present for the shower."
"You know what you can do with your present, Blue," Max muttered, punching his shoulder lightly. "Now watch out for yourself. I'll see you later."
"Bye, Max!" Junior called back as he left the room.
Max shot Goldie a stern look when she snickered. "Not. Adopting."
"Of course not," she replied innocently, wiggling her fingers in a mini wave as he started out the door. "...You know I think he has your eyes."
Max snorted. "Pray it doesn't," he said, and then he was gone.
---------------
Junior slept for about an hour. Goldie disappeared shortly after Max left, then reappeared when Junior did, so presumably she had gotten some sleep too.
Booster and Ted ended up eating an impromptu meal in the dining room when Question wandered into the kitchen and started pulling food out. Mostly, the meal consisted of leftover Chinese takeout and cereal, and got Booster and Ted discussing various odd food combinations they had eaten in their superhero careers, with occasional brief comments from Question.
They didn't talk about their son, or his poor choice in dates and the resultant head trauma.
It was silently agreed that it would be another thing they just didn't talk about. Like Booster's missing arm, various suits Ted had built for him, Booster's ex-wife, and Ted's nightmares from Checkmate.
When Junior returned from his nap, Goldie in tow, he was clearly feeling better. Bouncy, even. And eager to get on with the business of finding his parents.
"You're sure you're okay?" Ted asked suspiciously.
Junior waved away his concerns and snatched an eggroll from the table. "Oh yeah, no problem. I had a worse headache morning after I did shots with Bart, this is nothing." Munching on the eggroll, he bounced on his toes, eyes shining with excitement. "Sho lez--" He paused to swallow. "So let's go!"
"The red sweet wine of youth," Question remarked.
Leaning against the table, Goldie smirked and asked, "Is that your version of 'piss and vinegar'?"
"It is what it is," he said without inflection, standing up and turning away. "We go now, or not at all. The fragile thread of self grows taut and fraying. Their passage more noticed in time." With that, he left the room.
Looking startled, Junior glanced around the room, then hurried after him. The others were not far behind. "Well wait--"
"Thought you wanted to go," Question replied, stopping once he reached the lab.
"Well...yeah," Junior said slowly. "But I meant, like, let's go get ready, let's go after I've changed back into my suit." He looked down at his jeans and long-sleeved button-down, then back at the others, who were also in casual clothing.
"Won't need it where we're going."
Goldie hurried forward to poke at Question's shoulder with one finger, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You know where we're going?"
"I know what we're going to," Question corrected, reaching down. "The where is yet to be seen."
Then he pressed his belt buckle and the room filled with yellow smoke, stalling any further conversation.
The smoke didn't tingle, so much as give the impression it should. Or maybe it was an impression of movement without moving.
"If this is what he feels like all the time, no wonder he's a sociopath," Booster whispered to Ted, who elbowed him and whispered back about not distracting the driver.
There was a brief sensation of black on orange on black, like a brightly-lit view from inside closed eyelids with yellow blood and crawling dark veins, then the saffron smoke faded to grey. The grey smoke was at once thicker and thinner than the yellow, and stretched out into infinity in all directions except down. The ground was solid, both in density and color.
Looking around themselves in confusion, Ted and Booster shrugged at each other, assuming they were wherever they were meant to be. Where that was, they weren't sure, and Goldie looked similarly puzzled by the landscape. Whether Question had any opinions or insight in the matter was unknown.
Junior, on the other hand, seemed familiar with their surroundings, if his wide eyes and distressed expression were anything to go by. "Oh no," he whispered.
"What?" Booster asked, stepping closer and slowly touching the man's shoulder. "Where are we?"
Whirling at the touch, Junior stared up at him for a moment, then blinked and straightened, visibly calming himself. "I've been here before," he said quietly. "We're in the Collective Unconscious. We're in Dr. Destiny's realm."
---------------
"I don't get it," Booster said as they walked over the flat grey terrain through the hazy grey of the air. An odd feature of the smoke-that-wasn't-smoke was a tendency to become see-through when looked at from different angles. Other times it grew more opaque and seemed to shimmer with images of something, but when looked at straight on the images vanished.
"Dr. Destiny's the skull-faced guy we fought...when was it?" Booster continued, glancing at Ted.
"Gee Booster, I was kinda in a coma at the time," Ted said, rolling his eyes.
Booster grinned teasingly. "Well that could've been any time."
Ted punched his arm and Booster danced away, laughing softly. "But no," he said, moving to Junior's side. "I thought he was taken care of. No more powers."
As Junior opened his mouth to speak, Question suddenly hissed, "Nothing! Tell them nothing."
Junior sighed and shrugged helplessly, tucking hair behind his ear. "He's right," he said reluctantly. "You shouldn't even know that he'll be a threat again at some point. So...." He wiggled his hand at Booster. "Forget about this."
Booster gave him a speculative look and Junior rolled his eyes. "Wouldja forget about some droids if I suggested it?"
"Not likely," Booster said, shaking his head.
"Can't say I didn't try," Junior said with another shrug.
"So how is it you know about this place? Why were you here?"
"Can't tell you that either."
Booster blew out a frustrated breath. "Is there anything you can tell me?"
Glancing up at him, Junior smiled wryly. "That I've had just about enough closure for one day?"
Unable to think of a reply to that, Booster was silent. A few minutes later, Junior moved over to nervously ask Question, "We're staying away from the Enneagrams, right?"
Question snorted softly. "Give me some credit."
"Right, good," Junior murmured, nodding. "And the, ah...the Archetypes?"
A burst of childish laughter bubbled out from nowhere before Question could answer, the sound bouncing across the stark landscape eerily. As one, the group stopped and looked around warily for the source of the sound.
"There," Junior whispered, staring straight ahead at the grinning child standing in their path. "Puer."
"I remember you," the child told him with a strangely innocent malicious glee. "You didn't want to play." Peering up at him, the child smiled with deceptive sweetness. "Do you want to play now?"
"No," Junior replied quietly. "I'm...afraid I can't. I...." A thoughtful look crossed his face and he slowly dropped to one knee, staring at the child earnestly. "My parents got lost." He rolled his eyes and huffed with exaggerated indignance.
The child giggled, hands flying to its mouth. "That was silly."
"I know," Junior sighed in exasperation, spreading his hands. "And now I have to find them." He cupped his chin with one hand and looked upward as if deep in thought, then suddenly snapped his fingers and returned his attention to the child. "Hey! I'll bet you know all the best hiding places here. Right?"
Grinning with pride, the child wiggled in place and nodded. "Uh huh! I'm the best at hide and seek!"
"Sooo, do you have any idea where my parents are hiding?"
The child stepped closer to him and a feeling of scraped knees and frog slime swept over the group, roiling away with a lingering whiff of sour milk. "I'll bet they're in the dungeon," came the loud whisper from a hand cupped around the mouth.
Eyes widening, Junior's face was a picture of interest. "The dungeon?"
Hair flying, the child nodded rapidly. "Übermensch demands, so Trickster guards. But not well or faithfully." The child smirked naughtily. "They're the Syzygy, aren't they?"
"Here and now...maybe," Junior replied, tilting his head.
"And you're here to play heroes."
Junior grinned as if sharing a secret, and the child's eyes widened before it giggled with nasty delight. "Heroes and tricksters. Ooh, Übermensch won't be happy." Hands tightening into fists, the child kicked the air and added, "Kick 'is shin for me."
"You got it," Junior promised, then glanced around curiously. "I don't suppose you could tell me which way the dungeon is?"
The child snorted and skipped away, calling back in a scoffing voice as it faded away into the grey, "I'm not the Child."
There was another bubble of childish laughter, this time mean and whispering down to nothing.
Junior slowly stood and glanced back at the group, face pale. "Well," he said. "You heard the Puer. They're in the dungeon. Maybe." He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep, shaky breath. "I.... You know which direction to go, right?"
Nodding, Question turned and started walking again. "Since we got here. Following where they lead."
"Then let's go."
---------------
"What was that?" Ted eventually murmured as they pressed on. Booster and Goldie were off to the side discussing hair dye while Question continued to lead the way. Ted wasn't sure how long they had been traveling, but he was bored and their recent encounter with what was obviously an inhabitant of this strange grey place had given him the creeps.
Junior kept his eyes focused on the distance ahead. "What was what?"
"The creepy kid. What was with that?"
Tilting his head to look at him, Junior frowned. "That was the Puer, one of the Archetypes of this realm. Full name Puer Aeternus, means 'eternal youth'. It wouldn't be so bad, but around here everything's twisted and...not nice." He grimaced. "Puer likes to play, and it...doesn't play nice. Or fair. Think Peter Pan but kinda psychotic."
Ted made a face. "Takes 'brat' to a whole new level."
Rolling his eyes, Junior smirked. "Tell me about it."
"A dungeon must have a castle," Question said suddenly, pointing at the dark shape ahead. "And the heavy head on which rests the crown must be made off with."
"Seems quiet," Booster remarked, and Goldie nodded in agreement, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
"Smells fishy," she added.
"No...." Junior murmured. "Feels abandoned." He shot a look at Goldie. "Dr. D's locked up, isn't he? I thought he was."
Goldie nodded slowly, frowning. "Should be. But then, I didn't think this place could be around without him."
"Guess we'll find out," Ted said firmly, striding forward as the others hurried to follow.
Slowing as they got closer to the looming structure of ancient stone and moaning wind, the group cautiously looked around for any sign that they were going to be stopped. Finding not so much as a boobytrap, they continued on.
They had barely entered the unguarded castle, doors wide open, before Junior was running forward and smashing a fist into a skeletal face. He swiftly kicked the figure's shin, then slammed it against a wall, arm pressed against its neck.
"Where are my parents, you protoplasmic spew?!" he demanded as the rest of the group raced to catch up with him.
The robed skeleton's rotten teeth parted to let a laugh boom forward, then it suddenly faded away into nothingness, leaving Junior to stumble against the wall. He dropped his arm and stared forward in disbelief. "A pastiche. It was a pastiche. He left a--He--"
"That was stupid!" Goldie snapped, thumping his shoulder and glaring at him when he gave her an injured look. "If you're going to go rushing into unknown danger without looking first, you'll do it with me right next to you or not at all! Got it?!"
Junior smiled sheepishly and looked up at her through his eyelashes. "Sorry," he murmured.
Huffing indignantly, Goldie shoved him, then grabbed his arm and dragged him after Question, who had ventured further into the castle. "Don't be charming at me," she scolded half-heartedly as the faceless man ahead led them down a flight of stone steps.
"Yes'm," Junior replied obligingly.
They reached the bottom quickly and found it to be a surprisingly well-lit dungeon, despite a lack of any visible sources of light. Turning a corner, they then found themselves faced with a handsome young man with a playful smirk on his face, leaning casually against the wall next to a wooden door.
"Halt," he said in a lazy, laughing voice. "Friend or foe?" Then his smirk widened as he caught sight of Junior and he winked at the man. "Nevermind." With a sharp laugh, he spun on one foot and seemed to blur and shrink, then his features settled into those of a small fox and he scampered off.
"Should I worry you seem to be on such good terms with the people, and I use the term loosely, here?" Ted asked, raising an eyebrow.
Junior stared after the fox for a moment, then a bright smile suddenly spread across his face. "Trickster!" he laughed, then smirked at Goldie. "An aspect of Eris."
She rolled her eyes, then turned to Ted. "Yes," she said dryly. "You should worry. Your son's a member of organized religion's answer to Calvinball."
"Hey, uh, I think someone's in here," Booster spoke up, peering through the small window set in the wooden door Trickster had been guarding. As he reached out to touch it, the door creaked open.
Inside, two figures sat side by side, leaning against each other. When they looked up to take in the curious faces peering in at them from the doorway, the blond turned to the brunette and smirked.
"Told you they were coming," Michael Carter smugly told Ted Kord.
---------------
There was laughter and hugging in the small reunion, Junior beaming fit to burst while his fathers smiled proudly. After a minute, Junior happily introduced his parents to their past selves, with a quick warning that they shouldn't touch each other because there was no telling how it might effect the space-time continuum.
Rolling his eyes, Mike held up his hands and assured him, "I promise we won't explode the universe, son."
"Well okay then," Junior said, nodding. "Let's get outta here. There's ice cream to be had and this place gives me the heebie-jeebies."
As they walked up the stairs and out of the castle, the older Mike and Ted confirmed Junior's suspicion that they had been transported instead of vaporized, obviously. They had found themselves in their dungeon cell and been unaware of the passage of time except that it seemed like a long time but not as long as they were told they were missing.
Junior was almost skipping as they left the castle in the distance, Question insisting they had to return to the same place they had come from or else risk emerging elsewhere in the waking world. It seemed oddly anticlimactic, what with the disappearing pastiche of Dr. Destiny and not being challenged either entering or exiting the castle. No one was complaining, though.
As they walked, the future Mike and Ted drifted over to their younger selves and there was mutual casual examination, the older remembering being that young and the younger curious about how they would look later in life.
Older Ted's face was a bit more lined, and his hair was starting to gray, though he seemed to still have a full head of it. Catching the younger Ted's eyes, he grinned. "You'll get used to it eventually."
"What, the hair?"
Quirking an eyebrow in brief irritation, his older self rolled his eyes and smirked. "No, Booster."
Ted just stared at himself.
A few feet away from them, Mike was explaining to Booster that he remembered this happening. Neither was sure why his memories had persisted while no one else's had, but they assumed it was some aspect of already being a time traveler and not something they needed to worry about. Mike's memories of their present were a little hazy, anyway.
"By the way," he said slowly. "You know those little headaches you've been getting when you read?"
Booster grimaced, anticipating what was coming.
"Yeah, you know," Mike continued, noticing his expression. "That's eyestrain. And sooner or later, Ted is going to notice."
Booster groaned.
"And when he does, he'll make you go to the doctor to confirm you don't have a brain tumor or something. He worries, you know."
Booster shook his head.
"Oh yes," Mike said with relish. "And the doctor will say you need glasses, and you will get glasses. And when you do...."
Booster stared at him with bated breath and Mike grinned smugly.
"When you do, our brain slut Teddy over there won't be able to keep his hands off you."
Booster's mouth dropped open, then closed as he beamed.
"And you will follow that sequence of events," Mike added firmly. "More eyestrain, Ted notices, doctor, glasses, kinky sex. It'll be worth the wait, trust me."
With a sigh, Booster nodded. "Who can I trust if not myself?" he said wryly.
Mike pointed at him, grinning, and winked. "Got it." A sudden thoughtful look crossed his face as he stared ahead at Question's back, then he frowned. "Excuse me." Shooting his younger self a troubled smile, he walked over to where the Teds were walking side by side and draped his arms over their shoulders. "I've had dreams like this."
His Ted laughed while the younger Ted just rolled his eyes. Mike dropped his arms and then spun his Ted to face him and wrapped them around the man's waist. Holding him tight, Mike pressed his lips to Ted's in a kiss made comfortable and familiar by years of practice, but no less passionate with that familiarity, then dipped him at the waist as they remained lip-locked. Ted's arms slid willingly around Mike's neck as he enthusiastically returned the kiss, a hand slipping up to bury itself in the man's hair, blond as the day they had met, and cupped the back of his head.
When they finally straightened, mouths parting, they held and stared at each other, smiling with obvious affection and completely unaware of their audience.
"Not that I'm complaining," Ted murmured, grinning. "But what was that for?"
Mike smiled with sad wistfulness and reached up to brush Ted's hair away from his forehead. "Just...remembering something."
Confused, Ted caught his hand as it dropped and gently kissed the palm. "You remember this?"
Staring down at him before slowly letting go, Mike whispered, "It's burned in my memory."
Question had just announced they had reached their destination, when a dark figure suddenly emerged from the grey. Its skull-like visage laughed at them as it raised its hands to shoot sparkling light grey beams at them.
"It's another pastiche!" Junior shouted, lunging for it and taking it down swiftly. But as it disappeared, another light grey beam shot from the grey and clipped his ear. Letting out a cry of pain, Junior's hand clamped over the ear. "My comm's dead!"
Mike dove for Goldie when a beam tried to take off her head, and then everything was happening all at once as more laughing copies of Dr. Destiny closed in on them, all shooting beams. It didn't take much more than a solid punch to dissipate them, but the sheer numbers coming at them promised there was no way to defeat them all.
"Here!" Question called over the noise, spreading his arms to indicate they should all come closer. When they did, he quickly pressed his belt buckle and the yellow smoke hissed forth.
Then the older of the Teds suddenly jerked, eyes wide, as a beam caught him, knocking him away from the group but not from the Question's influence.
The last thing any of them saw before the world tumbled into disjointed not-motion was Junior diving to catch his fallen father.
---------------
"Dad!" Junior shouted, slowing Ted's descent as best he could, then gently laying the man down. His hands skimmed over his father's seemingly undamaged body and Ted's eyes fluttered open.
"...Hate...magic...." he rasped quietly.
Junior gave a breathless laugh. "Evil tool of the devil," he agreed. "No more magic for a while."
"You're...." Ted whispered, weakly raising a hand to cup Junior's cheek. "Best thing...ever come from it...."
Smile wavering nervously, Junior murmured, "Th-thanks, dad. I--Dad?"
Ted's eyes closed as his hand fell at his side.
"Dad?" Junior persisted, eyes widening in panic. He reached out and automatically felt at the man's neck for a pulse. Then he moved his fingers and tried again. "Dad! Nonononononono! Don't you dare!"
Quickly tilting Ted's head and making sure the airway was clear, Junior pinched the man's nose, gulped a breath of air, and sealed his lips over his father's. The steps for CPR ran on a loop through his head as he breathed for Ted, then started chest compressions.
"This is not how it works!" Junior scolded breathlessly. "D'you know what I've gone through to get you back?! I found you, I rescued you, then we're all supposed to go out for ice cream. I don't see any raisin ripple here, do you?!"
Gulping air, he started breathing for Ted again. As he finished, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye and for the first time realized he was in the middle of a street with people milling about on the sidewalks around them.
"Someone call an ambulance!" he shouted at the gawkers as he started chest compressions again. "One'a you mooks call!"
"C'mon, dad, don't you do this!" he whispered fiercely, then gave a half-hysterical laugh. "You know dad'll just try to get you back again, and I-I'm too old for another sibling. Oh god. Eris, if ever there was a time for you to pull a miracle outta your shapely behind...Please."
He checked for a pulse before starting breaths again. When he started chest compressions again, he was lightheaded and gasping for air. After that he stopped talking during compressions, motions blurring into a dizzying cycle of breathing and compressing until spots started dancing in his vision.
"Dad," he begged, eyes wet and blurred. "Please...."
When a third check for a pulse produced not so much as a flutter, Junior choked a sob and bent his head to Ted's chest, arms going around the man in an awkward hug. Silently, his shoulders shook over the still form of his father.
In the distance, an ambulance siren wailed.
-----
[ETA of epilogue: plotted, currently being written]
Mullet-verse handbook/guide. (AKA "Are you as lost as I am?")
Beta and suggestions by alba_aulbath.
CHAPTERS: { Prologue }{ Chapter One }{ Chapter Two }{ Chapter Three }{ Chapter Four }{ Chapter Five }{ Chapter Six }{ Chapter Seven }{ Chapter Eight }{ Chapter Nine }{ Chapter Ten }{ Chapter Eleven }{ Epilogue }
<-{ previous story: Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide } { next story: Mullet-verse handbook/guide }->
~11th Chapter
The rest of the ride home continued without further incident. Batman called to assure them that the Justice League would not be pursuing them, or taking disciplinary actions. The files Max had sent him were enough evidence that Batman could prove there were illegal goings on in the building they had just escaped, and as such could finally help in an official capacity.
Max thanked him and casually suggested he might want to look into having the extent of Androgenie's powers tested. Soon.
Then there was no more to say, except for Junior and Goldie cooing a flirty goodbye to Batman in unison, until they got home.
When they reached the house, Junior stumbled away from Goldie's guiding arm to shuffle into the kitchen. Shedding his gloves on the counter, he slumped against the side of the sink and snorted. He winced a few times, but continued snorting and sniffing, then screwed up his face and spat a wad of congealing blood into the sink. Behind him, Goldie made a sound of disgust.
With a pained sigh, Junior snagged a papertowel from the roll and slumped further as he wiped at his nose with it. Then he pushed himself away from the sink, turned around, and slumped against the refrigerator. A moment later, he opened it, slid to his knees, and rested his head on a shelf.
"So I guess it would be pretty stupid to ask how you're feeling," Booster remarked.
"Nnngg," Junior muttered in response.
"Blue," Max sighed.
"I don't care how psychosomatic it is, Max," Junior mumbled. "I'm staring at a can of corn and already I feel better."
Max threw up his hands in defeat and shook his head.
"And don't...don't get any ideas about changing things," he directed at Ted and Booster, pointing haphazardly behind himself, presumably at where he thought they were. "I'm fine now. I've learned a valuable life lesson...or something like that. You can't...change things, there's no telling what effects it'll have."
"Such as you not being brain damaged?" Ted suggested sarcastically.
Junior snorted, then flinched. "Nnngg. Such as.... Okay look, how many times have you gotten beat up? I know you've been put in a coma before. And Booster, didn't you lose a whole arm once?"
"We don't talk about that," Booster and Ted said in unison, then gave each other speculative looks.
"Right, so...a little bleeding from the brain's no big deal. Really. And...you could totally screw things up. I mean...there's always gonna be good and bad in the world, but...I think right now we've got a pretty okay balance. Not too hot, not too cold, just right. Goldilocks approved. So don't go futzing with time. If you knew the kind of things that were on the line here, and you'll find out eventually, you'd kick yourselves for even thinking it. So...yeah. I'm gonna take a quick nap before we go looking for my folks." Junior sniffed and the hand holding the papertowel disappeared into the fridge with his head.
"Not in there you're not," Goldie told him, striding forward and bending to grab him under the armpits. "C'mon, off to bed."
Junior groaned a half-hearted protest but stood up with minimal pulling and prodding. "Evil, evil woman."
"I'll be your archnemesis."
"Groovy."
"I'm gonna...head out," Max said slowly, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. "Let Mom know you're done with her body."
"Hey yeah, where was she during our little escapade?" Goldie asked.
Max shrugged. "VR. I think she said something about beta-testing."
Head lolling on Goldie's shoulder, Junior made an "okay" gesture with one hand and grinned at him. "Thanks for the help, Max," he said. "And congratulations."
Max's brow furrowed in confusion. "Congrat--What?"
Junior pointed at the thin strip of metal and clear plastic cradled in Max's hand. "Bug'll be so happy to be a grandma."
Eyebrows shooting up, Max sputtered, "I'm not--I'm not adopting the damn thing!"
"Already named it," Goldie confided to Junior.
"Yeah?"
"Little Spooky."
"Aw, that's so sweet." Junior batted his eyelashes and grinned.
"I'm not," Max insisted irritably. "I couldn't just leave it there. It was tantamount to child abuse!"
Junior patted his shoulder as he passed. "Just let me know when to get a present for the shower."
"You know what you can do with your present, Blue," Max muttered, punching his shoulder lightly. "Now watch out for yourself. I'll see you later."
"Bye, Max!" Junior called back as he left the room.
Max shot Goldie a stern look when she snickered. "Not. Adopting."
"Of course not," she replied innocently, wiggling her fingers in a mini wave as he started out the door. "...You know I think he has your eyes."
Max snorted. "Pray it doesn't," he said, and then he was gone.
---------------
Junior slept for about an hour. Goldie disappeared shortly after Max left, then reappeared when Junior did, so presumably she had gotten some sleep too.
Booster and Ted ended up eating an impromptu meal in the dining room when Question wandered into the kitchen and started pulling food out. Mostly, the meal consisted of leftover Chinese takeout and cereal, and got Booster and Ted discussing various odd food combinations they had eaten in their superhero careers, with occasional brief comments from Question.
They didn't talk about their son, or his poor choice in dates and the resultant head trauma.
It was silently agreed that it would be another thing they just didn't talk about. Like Booster's missing arm, various suits Ted had built for him, Booster's ex-wife, and Ted's nightmares from Checkmate.
When Junior returned from his nap, Goldie in tow, he was clearly feeling better. Bouncy, even. And eager to get on with the business of finding his parents.
"You're sure you're okay?" Ted asked suspiciously.
Junior waved away his concerns and snatched an eggroll from the table. "Oh yeah, no problem. I had a worse headache morning after I did shots with Bart, this is nothing." Munching on the eggroll, he bounced on his toes, eyes shining with excitement. "Sho lez--" He paused to swallow. "So let's go!"
"The red sweet wine of youth," Question remarked.
Leaning against the table, Goldie smirked and asked, "Is that your version of 'piss and vinegar'?"
"It is what it is," he said without inflection, standing up and turning away. "We go now, or not at all. The fragile thread of self grows taut and fraying. Their passage more noticed in time." With that, he left the room.
Looking startled, Junior glanced around the room, then hurried after him. The others were not far behind. "Well wait--"
"Thought you wanted to go," Question replied, stopping once he reached the lab.
"Well...yeah," Junior said slowly. "But I meant, like, let's go get ready, let's go after I've changed back into my suit." He looked down at his jeans and long-sleeved button-down, then back at the others, who were also in casual clothing.
"Won't need it where we're going."
Goldie hurried forward to poke at Question's shoulder with one finger, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You know where we're going?"
"I know what we're going to," Question corrected, reaching down. "The where is yet to be seen."
Then he pressed his belt buckle and the room filled with yellow smoke, stalling any further conversation.
The smoke didn't tingle, so much as give the impression it should. Or maybe it was an impression of movement without moving.
"If this is what he feels like all the time, no wonder he's a sociopath," Booster whispered to Ted, who elbowed him and whispered back about not distracting the driver.
There was a brief sensation of black on orange on black, like a brightly-lit view from inside closed eyelids with yellow blood and crawling dark veins, then the saffron smoke faded to grey. The grey smoke was at once thicker and thinner than the yellow, and stretched out into infinity in all directions except down. The ground was solid, both in density and color.
Looking around themselves in confusion, Ted and Booster shrugged at each other, assuming they were wherever they were meant to be. Where that was, they weren't sure, and Goldie looked similarly puzzled by the landscape. Whether Question had any opinions or insight in the matter was unknown.
Junior, on the other hand, seemed familiar with their surroundings, if his wide eyes and distressed expression were anything to go by. "Oh no," he whispered.
"What?" Booster asked, stepping closer and slowly touching the man's shoulder. "Where are we?"
Whirling at the touch, Junior stared up at him for a moment, then blinked and straightened, visibly calming himself. "I've been here before," he said quietly. "We're in the Collective Unconscious. We're in Dr. Destiny's realm."
---------------
"I don't get it," Booster said as they walked over the flat grey terrain through the hazy grey of the air. An odd feature of the smoke-that-wasn't-smoke was a tendency to become see-through when looked at from different angles. Other times it grew more opaque and seemed to shimmer with images of something, but when looked at straight on the images vanished.
"Dr. Destiny's the skull-faced guy we fought...when was it?" Booster continued, glancing at Ted.
"Gee Booster, I was kinda in a coma at the time," Ted said, rolling his eyes.
Booster grinned teasingly. "Well that could've been any time."
Ted punched his arm and Booster danced away, laughing softly. "But no," he said, moving to Junior's side. "I thought he was taken care of. No more powers."
As Junior opened his mouth to speak, Question suddenly hissed, "Nothing! Tell them nothing."
Junior sighed and shrugged helplessly, tucking hair behind his ear. "He's right," he said reluctantly. "You shouldn't even know that he'll be a threat again at some point. So...." He wiggled his hand at Booster. "Forget about this."
Booster gave him a speculative look and Junior rolled his eyes. "Wouldja forget about some droids if I suggested it?"
"Not likely," Booster said, shaking his head.
"Can't say I didn't try," Junior said with another shrug.
"So how is it you know about this place? Why were you here?"
"Can't tell you that either."
Booster blew out a frustrated breath. "Is there anything you can tell me?"
Glancing up at him, Junior smiled wryly. "That I've had just about enough closure for one day?"
Unable to think of a reply to that, Booster was silent. A few minutes later, Junior moved over to nervously ask Question, "We're staying away from the Enneagrams, right?"
Question snorted softly. "Give me some credit."
"Right, good," Junior murmured, nodding. "And the, ah...the Archetypes?"
A burst of childish laughter bubbled out from nowhere before Question could answer, the sound bouncing across the stark landscape eerily. As one, the group stopped and looked around warily for the source of the sound.
"There," Junior whispered, staring straight ahead at the grinning child standing in their path. "Puer."
"I remember you," the child told him with a strangely innocent malicious glee. "You didn't want to play." Peering up at him, the child smiled with deceptive sweetness. "Do you want to play now?"
"No," Junior replied quietly. "I'm...afraid I can't. I...." A thoughtful look crossed his face and he slowly dropped to one knee, staring at the child earnestly. "My parents got lost." He rolled his eyes and huffed with exaggerated indignance.
The child giggled, hands flying to its mouth. "That was silly."
"I know," Junior sighed in exasperation, spreading his hands. "And now I have to find them." He cupped his chin with one hand and looked upward as if deep in thought, then suddenly snapped his fingers and returned his attention to the child. "Hey! I'll bet you know all the best hiding places here. Right?"
Grinning with pride, the child wiggled in place and nodded. "Uh huh! I'm the best at hide and seek!"
"Sooo, do you have any idea where my parents are hiding?"
The child stepped closer to him and a feeling of scraped knees and frog slime swept over the group, roiling away with a lingering whiff of sour milk. "I'll bet they're in the dungeon," came the loud whisper from a hand cupped around the mouth.
Eyes widening, Junior's face was a picture of interest. "The dungeon?"
Hair flying, the child nodded rapidly. "Übermensch demands, so Trickster guards. But not well or faithfully." The child smirked naughtily. "They're the Syzygy, aren't they?"
"Here and now...maybe," Junior replied, tilting his head.
"And you're here to play heroes."
Junior grinned as if sharing a secret, and the child's eyes widened before it giggled with nasty delight. "Heroes and tricksters. Ooh, Übermensch won't be happy." Hands tightening into fists, the child kicked the air and added, "Kick 'is shin for me."
"You got it," Junior promised, then glanced around curiously. "I don't suppose you could tell me which way the dungeon is?"
The child snorted and skipped away, calling back in a scoffing voice as it faded away into the grey, "I'm not the Child."
There was another bubble of childish laughter, this time mean and whispering down to nothing.
Junior slowly stood and glanced back at the group, face pale. "Well," he said. "You heard the Puer. They're in the dungeon. Maybe." He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep, shaky breath. "I.... You know which direction to go, right?"
Nodding, Question turned and started walking again. "Since we got here. Following where they lead."
"Then let's go."
---------------
"What was that?" Ted eventually murmured as they pressed on. Booster and Goldie were off to the side discussing hair dye while Question continued to lead the way. Ted wasn't sure how long they had been traveling, but he was bored and their recent encounter with what was obviously an inhabitant of this strange grey place had given him the creeps.
Junior kept his eyes focused on the distance ahead. "What was what?"
"The creepy kid. What was with that?"
Tilting his head to look at him, Junior frowned. "That was the Puer, one of the Archetypes of this realm. Full name Puer Aeternus, means 'eternal youth'. It wouldn't be so bad, but around here everything's twisted and...not nice." He grimaced. "Puer likes to play, and it...doesn't play nice. Or fair. Think Peter Pan but kinda psychotic."
Ted made a face. "Takes 'brat' to a whole new level."
Rolling his eyes, Junior smirked. "Tell me about it."
"A dungeon must have a castle," Question said suddenly, pointing at the dark shape ahead. "And the heavy head on which rests the crown must be made off with."
"Seems quiet," Booster remarked, and Goldie nodded in agreement, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
"Smells fishy," she added.
"No...." Junior murmured. "Feels abandoned." He shot a look at Goldie. "Dr. D's locked up, isn't he? I thought he was."
Goldie nodded slowly, frowning. "Should be. But then, I didn't think this place could be around without him."
"Guess we'll find out," Ted said firmly, striding forward as the others hurried to follow.
Slowing as they got closer to the looming structure of ancient stone and moaning wind, the group cautiously looked around for any sign that they were going to be stopped. Finding not so much as a boobytrap, they continued on.
They had barely entered the unguarded castle, doors wide open, before Junior was running forward and smashing a fist into a skeletal face. He swiftly kicked the figure's shin, then slammed it against a wall, arm pressed against its neck.
"Where are my parents, you protoplasmic spew?!" he demanded as the rest of the group raced to catch up with him.
The robed skeleton's rotten teeth parted to let a laugh boom forward, then it suddenly faded away into nothingness, leaving Junior to stumble against the wall. He dropped his arm and stared forward in disbelief. "A pastiche. It was a pastiche. He left a--He--"
"That was stupid!" Goldie snapped, thumping his shoulder and glaring at him when he gave her an injured look. "If you're going to go rushing into unknown danger without looking first, you'll do it with me right next to you or not at all! Got it?!"
Junior smiled sheepishly and looked up at her through his eyelashes. "Sorry," he murmured.
Huffing indignantly, Goldie shoved him, then grabbed his arm and dragged him after Question, who had ventured further into the castle. "Don't be charming at me," she scolded half-heartedly as the faceless man ahead led them down a flight of stone steps.
"Yes'm," Junior replied obligingly.
They reached the bottom quickly and found it to be a surprisingly well-lit dungeon, despite a lack of any visible sources of light. Turning a corner, they then found themselves faced with a handsome young man with a playful smirk on his face, leaning casually against the wall next to a wooden door.
"Halt," he said in a lazy, laughing voice. "Friend or foe?" Then his smirk widened as he caught sight of Junior and he winked at the man. "Nevermind." With a sharp laugh, he spun on one foot and seemed to blur and shrink, then his features settled into those of a small fox and he scampered off.
"Should I worry you seem to be on such good terms with the people, and I use the term loosely, here?" Ted asked, raising an eyebrow.
Junior stared after the fox for a moment, then a bright smile suddenly spread across his face. "Trickster!" he laughed, then smirked at Goldie. "An aspect of Eris."
She rolled her eyes, then turned to Ted. "Yes," she said dryly. "You should worry. Your son's a member of organized religion's answer to Calvinball."
"Hey, uh, I think someone's in here," Booster spoke up, peering through the small window set in the wooden door Trickster had been guarding. As he reached out to touch it, the door creaked open.
Inside, two figures sat side by side, leaning against each other. When they looked up to take in the curious faces peering in at them from the doorway, the blond turned to the brunette and smirked.
"Told you they were coming," Michael Carter smugly told Ted Kord.
---------------
There was laughter and hugging in the small reunion, Junior beaming fit to burst while his fathers smiled proudly. After a minute, Junior happily introduced his parents to their past selves, with a quick warning that they shouldn't touch each other because there was no telling how it might effect the space-time continuum.
Rolling his eyes, Mike held up his hands and assured him, "I promise we won't explode the universe, son."
"Well okay then," Junior said, nodding. "Let's get outta here. There's ice cream to be had and this place gives me the heebie-jeebies."
As they walked up the stairs and out of the castle, the older Mike and Ted confirmed Junior's suspicion that they had been transported instead of vaporized, obviously. They had found themselves in their dungeon cell and been unaware of the passage of time except that it seemed like a long time but not as long as they were told they were missing.
Junior was almost skipping as they left the castle in the distance, Question insisting they had to return to the same place they had come from or else risk emerging elsewhere in the waking world. It seemed oddly anticlimactic, what with the disappearing pastiche of Dr. Destiny and not being challenged either entering or exiting the castle. No one was complaining, though.
As they walked, the future Mike and Ted drifted over to their younger selves and there was mutual casual examination, the older remembering being that young and the younger curious about how they would look later in life.
Older Ted's face was a bit more lined, and his hair was starting to gray, though he seemed to still have a full head of it. Catching the younger Ted's eyes, he grinned. "You'll get used to it eventually."
"What, the hair?"
Quirking an eyebrow in brief irritation, his older self rolled his eyes and smirked. "No, Booster."
Ted just stared at himself.
A few feet away from them, Mike was explaining to Booster that he remembered this happening. Neither was sure why his memories had persisted while no one else's had, but they assumed it was some aspect of already being a time traveler and not something they needed to worry about. Mike's memories of their present were a little hazy, anyway.
"By the way," he said slowly. "You know those little headaches you've been getting when you read?"
Booster grimaced, anticipating what was coming.
"Yeah, you know," Mike continued, noticing his expression. "That's eyestrain. And sooner or later, Ted is going to notice."
Booster groaned.
"And when he does, he'll make you go to the doctor to confirm you don't have a brain tumor or something. He worries, you know."
Booster shook his head.
"Oh yes," Mike said with relish. "And the doctor will say you need glasses, and you will get glasses. And when you do...."
Booster stared at him with bated breath and Mike grinned smugly.
"When you do, our brain slut Teddy over there won't be able to keep his hands off you."
Booster's mouth dropped open, then closed as he beamed.
"And you will follow that sequence of events," Mike added firmly. "More eyestrain, Ted notices, doctor, glasses, kinky sex. It'll be worth the wait, trust me."
With a sigh, Booster nodded. "Who can I trust if not myself?" he said wryly.
Mike pointed at him, grinning, and winked. "Got it." A sudden thoughtful look crossed his face as he stared ahead at Question's back, then he frowned. "Excuse me." Shooting his younger self a troubled smile, he walked over to where the Teds were walking side by side and draped his arms over their shoulders. "I've had dreams like this."
His Ted laughed while the younger Ted just rolled his eyes. Mike dropped his arms and then spun his Ted to face him and wrapped them around the man's waist. Holding him tight, Mike pressed his lips to Ted's in a kiss made comfortable and familiar by years of practice, but no less passionate with that familiarity, then dipped him at the waist as they remained lip-locked. Ted's arms slid willingly around Mike's neck as he enthusiastically returned the kiss, a hand slipping up to bury itself in the man's hair, blond as the day they had met, and cupped the back of his head.
When they finally straightened, mouths parting, they held and stared at each other, smiling with obvious affection and completely unaware of their audience.
"Not that I'm complaining," Ted murmured, grinning. "But what was that for?"
Mike smiled with sad wistfulness and reached up to brush Ted's hair away from his forehead. "Just...remembering something."
Confused, Ted caught his hand as it dropped and gently kissed the palm. "You remember this?"
Staring down at him before slowly letting go, Mike whispered, "It's burned in my memory."
Question had just announced they had reached their destination, when a dark figure suddenly emerged from the grey. Its skull-like visage laughed at them as it raised its hands to shoot sparkling light grey beams at them.
"It's another pastiche!" Junior shouted, lunging for it and taking it down swiftly. But as it disappeared, another light grey beam shot from the grey and clipped his ear. Letting out a cry of pain, Junior's hand clamped over the ear. "My comm's dead!"
Mike dove for Goldie when a beam tried to take off her head, and then everything was happening all at once as more laughing copies of Dr. Destiny closed in on them, all shooting beams. It didn't take much more than a solid punch to dissipate them, but the sheer numbers coming at them promised there was no way to defeat them all.
"Here!" Question called over the noise, spreading his arms to indicate they should all come closer. When they did, he quickly pressed his belt buckle and the yellow smoke hissed forth.
Then the older of the Teds suddenly jerked, eyes wide, as a beam caught him, knocking him away from the group but not from the Question's influence.
The last thing any of them saw before the world tumbled into disjointed not-motion was Junior diving to catch his fallen father.
---------------
"Dad!" Junior shouted, slowing Ted's descent as best he could, then gently laying the man down. His hands skimmed over his father's seemingly undamaged body and Ted's eyes fluttered open.
"...Hate...magic...." he rasped quietly.
Junior gave a breathless laugh. "Evil tool of the devil," he agreed. "No more magic for a while."
"You're...." Ted whispered, weakly raising a hand to cup Junior's cheek. "Best thing...ever come from it...."
Smile wavering nervously, Junior murmured, "Th-thanks, dad. I--Dad?"
Ted's eyes closed as his hand fell at his side.
"Dad?" Junior persisted, eyes widening in panic. He reached out and automatically felt at the man's neck for a pulse. Then he moved his fingers and tried again. "Dad! Nonononononono! Don't you dare!"
Quickly tilting Ted's head and making sure the airway was clear, Junior pinched the man's nose, gulped a breath of air, and sealed his lips over his father's. The steps for CPR ran on a loop through his head as he breathed for Ted, then started chest compressions.
"This is not how it works!" Junior scolded breathlessly. "D'you know what I've gone through to get you back?! I found you, I rescued you, then we're all supposed to go out for ice cream. I don't see any raisin ripple here, do you?!"
Gulping air, he started breathing for Ted again. As he finished, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye and for the first time realized he was in the middle of a street with people milling about on the sidewalks around them.
"Someone call an ambulance!" he shouted at the gawkers as he started chest compressions again. "One'a you mooks call!"
"C'mon, dad, don't you do this!" he whispered fiercely, then gave a half-hysterical laugh. "You know dad'll just try to get you back again, and I-I'm too old for another sibling. Oh god. Eris, if ever there was a time for you to pull a miracle outta your shapely behind...Please."
He checked for a pulse before starting breaths again. When he started chest compressions again, he was lightheaded and gasping for air. After that he stopped talking during compressions, motions blurring into a dizzying cycle of breathing and compressing until spots started dancing in his vision.
"Dad," he begged, eyes wet and blurred. "Please...."
When a third check for a pulse produced not so much as a flutter, Junior choked a sob and bent his head to Ted's chest, arms going around the man in an awkward hug. Silently, his shoulders shook over the still form of his father.
In the distance, an ambulance siren wailed.
-----
[ETA of epilogue: plotted, currently being written]
Mullet-verse handbook/guide. (AKA "Are you as lost as I am?")