We can't help it but compare. We look at our neighbors, our friends, and our enemies and we can't help but ask why things are the way they are. Why can't I have it like so&so, or why does so&so have it so good? The light thinkers like to answer these kinds of questions with vague terms like luck or chance, but I propose something different. I ( Read more... )

Tonight was talking to a very very dear friend of mine the subject of personal demons came up. Everyone has them and each person's are unique to their own fears. In my case, my demons reside in side of me. I have a part of me which I cannot integrate into my being. Though it is part of the real me, I fear it, don't want it, and would still ( Read more... )

I have taken a very defensive stance in life. Most of the time I have decided to react instead of act. This is a pretty safe strategy and can save you a lot of hurt, but the learning curve for it is not very good. When you play it safe, often times you don't get the information you need to learn and move on. For most of my life I have been ( Read more... )

( ) Smoked a cigarette ( Read more... )

I love people who respond to email within 24 hours. Even more special is when they respond within a couple of minutes. So for that reason I salute you my fellow email junkies. You are very special people. Don't let anybody tell you differently.

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Today was a day when the skeletons came out to play. First, I had to clean out my webmail because it was almost to full capacity. While doing so, I ran across many unfinished tasks and great ideas I never followed through on. I also stumbled upon personal emails from people I used to care deeply about. Some of these people used phrases like, " ( Read more... )

I'd say a good analogy to how I feel about life is to compare myself to a kid who has been held back in school. For a couple of years now I have watched all my friends learn, grow, and move onward in life while I have not. Yes, I could venture into newer uncertain waters, but I don't feel I'm ready for them nor do I feel I have learned all I need ( Read more... )

The truth will not elude me for forever ( Read more... )

It's quite the paradox how we humans are thrill seekers and claim to want the most out of life and yet when we aren't on the edge we want to be numb to everything. I find this to be true in everybody, but I'm most aware of it in my closest friends and in myself. I see the tendency to avoid our problems and issues through "fixes." For some of us ( Read more... )