so I dropped a wad of cash and got my daughter a massive karaoke machine for christmas because the kid loves to sing. it's one of those big ones that stands three feet tall and has a camera to make videos and the whole nine yards. Well, BJ and his mommy comes over (BJ of the sauce pans and flour sifters) So he has to sing the karaoke. Out of ( Read more... )

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Pat Morita is dead.

now only Ralph Macchio and I are left to carry on the tradition of surprising bullies with kicks to the face while imitating birds.

and really since I mastered the Shaolin scorpion strike technique it's just down to the golden boy.

31 years old... I'm ten years over the legal drinking age and I'm still on my original liver. woo hoo.

so what do I want for my birthday? The same thing I want every year. A small but loyal cult following.

I've got a cavity. Two cavities. I'm not looking forward to a trip to the dentist. The last time I went, I got this crazy German who kept asking me... "is it safe? is it safe?" And he drilled a little too deep.

Today at the recreation center on main street the local chapter of the mother's club threw a massive arts and crafts fair. I went up there with my video camera to see if I could hire in milfs to fuck on film for a new website I'm putting together. I offered top rates ... $200 a fuck ($150 for those with cesarian scars) Three hundred women and I ( Read more... )

well, there's less than a week remaining until my birthday and I'm not even stressed out, very much. Also, I've been keeping this journal for a year now and I'm no closer to figuring myself out than I've ever been. I don't have any plans for my birthday as of now. Likely I'll work. Usually birthdays are a special time where I feel sorry for ( Read more... )

I bought my daughter a Beatles sweatshirt this weekend. It's bright yellow and has the cartoony yellow submarine from the titular song and off to the right it says Nothing Is Real. Given my daughter's eight year old philosophy of life... I figured it was right up her alley and she was right. She's an odd one, my daughter. The one thing she took ( Read more... )