I don't think there's any question that I am totally, completely, a mess. Still ( Read more... )

What happens when you light a small flame and let it get out of hand? You get burned. Playing with fire again. You'd think I would have learned my lesson the last time. Hot and bothered? Doesn't matter ( Read more... )

Well, I flipped the switch. At the end of this month will be my first venture into international travel. I am nervous and excited at the same time. I've been needing to have a private retreat for quite some time, but it was not safe for me to do so because of how dark my thoughts were. Now that things are at least a little better, I can look ( Read more... )

I really sometimes question what it means to be Orthodox Christian ( Read more... )

So. Crazy idea. My upcoming vacation in October? Why not go big, say screw everything, and go international ( Read more... )

Not really sure what precipitated it, but I feel myself slipping again. Who cares? And even if someone did, why should they ( Read more... )

Today is hard.

I miss the touch of a woman; that beautiful creature that I desire to hold and cherish.

And yet. I simply cannot bring myself to go through this again. To make someone hurt the way I hurt her in the past.

Better to suffer alone, no matter how bad it hurts.

Evidently, I received my answer fairly quickly. I suppose this will remain my personal journal and nothing more, which is good enough for me anyway. I'm not sure why there is such a profound difference with this platform, but I now gather that people on LJ (whichever folks are still around) are much more guarded about their privacy, as such it will ( Read more... )

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Met a new acquaintance today. I hope she takes some of what was actually useful and discards the rest. More than anything, I hope she learns from my mistakes and brokenness so that she will find a better path than the one I have created for myself.

Because at present, I am but a whisper of who I once was.