well ( Read more... )

11 hours straight... working non-stop... For not a damn thing. To be further behind than i was when i started. I hate my job so god damn much. No matter how hard i try, i can't keep up with it. Everything is always all for not. It's exhausting and humiliating.

I can't take this shit much longer.

I am trying so hard to keep my head above water out here. If i had my way, i would sit in front of a computer screen, e-mailing nilla and looking at pictures of her and the kids.

A tired man they see, no longer cares...Just... have so much watch, that anythign more than couple hours of sleep is damn near impossible, especially with everything ( Read more... )

fucking job... fucking stupid stupid job... this shit needs to be over with!

Do you ever have one of those fucking days where you feel like running through the hallway with a giant fucking knife out in front of you, in hopes you would trip and fucking fall on it so you can go home?! no i didn't fucking think you would ( Read more... )

it's been a pretty chill day. We actually didn't have a lot of work, but for some reason being the work center supervisor, i am expected to stay up? would've been nice to get some fucking sleep after the mid watch, but it's whatever ( Read more... )

well right now, there's a little and a lot to say. I feel extremely releived. I wrote the other day how out to sea, i think about the past alot, so i decided to investigate it a little. I found a proxy server that i could access myspace from (even though i couldn't do anything, i could look, lol). I feel so releived. I read everyone's blogs, looked ( Read more... )

It seems every day i am underway i slip deeper and deeper into fucking depression, and everything around me, except my family, seems to matter less and less. I attack things i really don't care about, like all out mean and offensive statements during discussions i could give a shit less about, like the true meaning of this upcoming holiday, like ( Read more... )

Is it time to go home yet? No? i didn't think so. It feels like i have been out to sea for fucking years, lol. I find myself listening to despressing music more and more every day. no matter what i am doing... It's almost as if i focus on past or someone else's sadness it dulls my own for the moment. I find myself forgetting everything. I forget ( Read more... )

things out to sea are continuing to suck balls. Today we had a mail call and it seemed like everyone but me got tons of packages and mail. the only person who has sent me shit is tracee. Hell i haven't even gotten any of the magazine subscriptions i got, lol. It's fucking sad. I know tracee would send me more if we had the money. but i guess it's ( Read more... )