My relationship seems a bit more weathered than a week ago. Ever since we went to see Heather's brother a couple weeks ago, things have been strange. We've been losing alot of our comfort with eachother. Where she used to like talking to me about anything, she no longer can stand to hear my voice. She hates when I goof around, and I'm a huge ( Read more... )

Yes, she callked me, so that's a good thing, cuz that means she missed me. She even said she loved me first. So my gloomy day just turned into a good one. That's all I need to feel content. Just her to tell me she loves me. Nothing hurts anymore when she tells me she loves me or needs me. I needed that really bad. I've been crying my eyes out at ( Read more... )

It's pretty typical of me to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Now I can't give heather a good reason to be with me. My business. Don't ask me about it.

i can't help it a lot of the time. I have a certain melancholy about me and it's definatley my worst handicap. In the last 7 days I've been a horrible jealous bastard of a boyfriend, and I guess that jealousy is a trait of people who like to blame others for their insecurities. So I sort of have the right to feel ashamed for it. As for today, I ( Read more... )

I guess me and Heather are fine now. It was a nice wake-up call for me by worrying so much this week. It has me thinking of all the ways I should have been a better boyfriend from the start.

In short, I think that Heather's just about done with me and I just wish she'd let me know that everything's okay. Cuz she's only been angry at me for the last couple of days, and I'm terribly depressed about it. I want to talk to her about it but it only turns into an arguement and I don't want her anymore angrier at me than she's already been. ( Read more... )

The GF's angry at me again. I don't feel like elaborating. I haven't felt very good about anything today and I'm kind of losing my nerve. To tell you how fragile I can be wouldn't be very simple, so I'll just say that the only person I can talk to doesn't want to talk to me. I just feel alone and i know that Heather will just read anything I write ( Read more... )

Heather has caused me to think a little more about the person I really am. I originally wrote down a nice lengthy self loathing monologue, but it bored the hell out of me, because all I ever say is "I I I" and "me me me". It seems to say alot about the person I am. if you want to know, I keep making Heather cry and it's because she thinks I'm ( Read more... )

There's four things in my life to plan my week around: Heather, family, James, and work. I shouldn't feel so guilty about choosing one over another because there's not that much responsibilty on my plate, but then again, I don't know how to balance out any part of my life. It's horrible that I feel like I don't have enough time to even learn how to ( Read more... )

I guess that's a good thing. Nothing's really on my mind anymore so i don't have alot to say. I've been happy to spend time with Heather this week, considering we're both always busy, and it was really nice yesterday cuz I was able to make her feel better on her birthday. I love her alot and there's not much more going on in my head these days.