I don't know if I should let it bother me that sometimes Heather and i just have days where we don't talk very well to eachother. I don't really know what's going on in her head sometimes, but I can tell when she sounds upset or unhappy, and when she doesn't fill me in on things, I start trying to figure out what it is but only to myself. I get to ( Read more... )

I worry too much about things that aren't very probable. Why do I always think that heather's folks want to find a reason to throw me in jail. I don't think they hate me that bad, but then again, I don't trust them anymore than they trust me. They think I'm trying to ruin their daughter and I want to prove them wrong so bad. Maybe I wouldn't be so ( Read more... )

I don't know if I should be angry or ashamed for how unhappy I make Heather. I love her and I want to make her happy so bad, but it feels like I'm just genetically predisposed to be a failure. Both my father figures are probably really bad influences on me, and plus Heather hasn't been in enough relationships to realize how good I actually am to ( Read more... )

I just want my relationship with Heathjer to work. I wish I was more romantic and better at dating people.

I guess I sort of hoped to hear from Heather at some point today, but I guess she's busy. I tried calling a couple times, but she just hung up on me without saying anything. She also didn't call like she said she would, and she hasn't answered any messages. The only response I've gotten all day was a message on myspace saying "call my house, it's ( Read more... )

I wish I could change myself. Not alot really, just the little things about me that embarrass Heather. Everybody tells her I'm a loser and that i'm no good for her, and that they're only trying to look out for her, or offer a solution for her that's in her best interest. They're probably right, but I always just envisioned that she didn't care ( Read more... )

I had a really good night with Heather yesterday, as usual, but she's been getting more and more aggrivated by me by the day. I never do or say the right things,let alone do or say anything that isn't awkward or demeaning. I'm honestly a terrible person and I hate myself for that. She made a really good point about how lazy and uncommited I was. ( Read more... )

I can't wait to get back. I just shipped my things today. Heather's picking me up tomorrow, yay!

I'm getting so anxious about coming home, it's starting to stress me out. I get worried that something will go wrong and I'll get stuck here somehow. If I wasn't in the military, I wouldn't worry about it, be being that I am, I know how they like to make everything complicated.

I can't wait to get back! Heather's gonna be picking me up, so I look forward to being all gooey with her when I get off the plane.