I am trying so hard not to face reality but I know have to. When I got the call last night that my friend Angela died, I was not upset at first. About a month ago Kristi died and I thought this person had mixed up the names. I told myself, it could not be Angela. I just talked to her a couple of weeks ago. I know she was sick but she was supposed ( Read more... )

It has been awful. I have finished one week of treatment yet I have six more weeks, then surgery, then seven more weeks of treatment. I don't think I am strong enough for all of this. I said I would fight, But I didn't know it would be like this. I know it can't be easy or fun for Andrew. I almost want to tell him that he can stay here and I will ( Read more... )

ok, i deleted my ridiculous entries and no i feel better.
i need to sleep.
from now on i will stop my crazy thoughs and relax as told by the most awesomest friend in the world!!!
I have some great friends and i don't want to push them away.
i need to trust them,, i know they won;t abandon me and i need to keep telling myself that.
i need to slep.

 I was thinking about my pet goat Aerial from when I was a kid. My dad got her as a present for me. I remember going with him to a friend's farm and the moment i saw her, i fell in love. She was bunting the fence as if it were a live. But it was not.

She used to roam around the yard and climb on my mom's car. My mom would yell at her and she would ( Read more... )

I was bored so I took a personality quiz and these were the results ( Read more... )

Well, I do have to say that this was probably the best birthday I have had since I was about 9 or so. I usually dread my birthday but at least this year I did not have to spend it with my family. I had a lot of fun and spent it with two awesome friends. When I got home a few minutes ago and checked facebook and myspace and only two people ( Read more... )

I was being stupid earlier. I will make it. It may be hard and it may suck but life is life. For some reason i am still here so I might as well try to find my purpose.

I told myself I would not dread my birthday this year but once again I was majorly dissapointed. My mom and step-dad were supposed to be getting a divorce but he came to supper tonight with us and as they were walking up, they were holding hands. It honestly doesn't matter to me whether or not they stay together but what does bother me is that they ( Read more... )

It is almost 3:30 and I have still not even been outside. My head is killing me and I cannot breathe and I it will be a while before I can see an ENT specialist. Andrew and I had a long discussion last night about the things that annoy us about the other person. Andrew had a lot longer list about why I annoy him and I felt bad. It started because ( Read more... )

Well, I have not accomlished very much during the break except for getting a job in ehich I get attacked by butter. My first day of work was fairly easy and I only worked for an hour and a half. The second day at work was crazy. Fulshed away was playnig and the theater was packed with over hyper, messy little children. My boss had the great idea of ( Read more... )