So i know it's been...almost 2 months i guess since i last updated.  there's been so much going on and i just havent had any time to update.  i mean, i've had time. i just choose to sleep instead lol ( Read more... )

So...i started at the home depot up here..and it's...completely different.  it's smaller and everything is moved around and flip flopped and it's really confusing. i have no idea where anything is.  the people are...completely different.  there are only like 3 girls and 1 guy that are really nice to me and actually have conversations with me.  the ( Read more... )

so summer's here. i'm finally done with school. and i'm back in missouri for the summer to work...part of me regrets this decision, but part of me is okay with it.  i mean, i need some time away...but it's gonna suck cause i'm gonna miss everyone like whoa. i already miss some peoples ( Read more... )

so i had the most random dream the other night ( Read more... )

So i'm still trying to get over Zach.  And it's hard as hell.  I'm acting like it doesn't affect me, or that i'm over it...but it does..and i'm not ( Read more... )

So...me and Zach aren't anything but friends.  I asked him yesterday and he said that's all we are. Which makes no freakin sense to me after him spill about how much he's afraid and how he lost that "one" person ( Read more... )

These are the following texts me and Zach had:

"I have an unseen ability in fucking things up! Really good things" (Zach)
"Really. Why do you say that?" (me)
"Because I do...the one person that "really" cared about me, I tried to run off because I'm too scared of getting hurt again! I don't understand my tactics!"
"I don't know what to say..."
"I just ( Read more... )

So....last night i apologized to Zach for crying thursday night, and he said it was okay.  He said that it's better off if we just stay friends because it's "for the best" and that "there's someone out there that is a better match for you."  He said "i care about you, but it's not "love". i don't think it's good to keep it going. And my heart ( Read more... )

So...last night was pretty fun.  I went with Zach to an 80's party at David and Cody's. It was super fun lol.  Afterwards was also pretty interesting ( Read more... )

So...i told my mom that i feel like i might be depressed. this is what i told her "i think i might be depressed or something...ever since i've gotten back from spring break...or even before too...basically ever since zach told me we were gonna break up when he left, i've been...depressed. i rarely eat. and if i do eat it's way too much and i feel ( Read more... )