and i'm just as nauseous, just as depressed, but i think i'm more angry than i have been. i don't know what to do. i feel so trapped. this surely is a dream. it must be. if so, it's the worst i've ever had and ever will have. speaking of dreams, i had a lot of nightmares last night. i hope things change.

i hungout with nathan tonight for the first time in a long time which helped because we're in the same boat. he did let me know that i'm not alone and that "we're in this together" which gave me some hope. i've been nauseous since yesterday non-stop, my head is killing me, and i can't eat or drink anything. nathan and i made ourselves drink some ( Read more... )

before i say anything, i do not want pity from this. i just need to get my thoughts out and i guess venting to four best friends isn't enough ( Read more... )

i've decided that this feeling of nausea, this horrible headache, and this sense of timelessness and not being able to feel anything needs to go away. it's the worst.

crushed. thank god for friends. hope. i don't want to put my thoughts into full sentences. i'm flustered. i am lost. i don't feel whole. i don't know what to say. this doesn't describe it well.

on a better note, my room is painted and looks good.
and i have 3 super good movies to watch with my cassie.
first i have to take dose 3 of prozac =/

I hate that my past has made it so that I worry about a lot of little things in relationships. I over-analyze many things and end up stressing over nothing. I wish I didn't do that. Maybe time will help.

This just brought my all the joy I had been lacking. This is absolutely wonderful.

Salem, meet White Christmas. White Christmas, meet Salem.

I was talking to a friend and off the top of my head I came up with this ( Read more... )

i just effing saw 51 on the clock again. coincidence? NO. i'm looking for the numbers? NO. it's following me everywhere? YES. =| i am utterly cr33ped out ( Read more... )

oh and this month has been the best of the year in one category. i'm starting to gain self-esteem again. finally.