Ive been in the hospital 3 times since my last journal update. I feel so much better than i have been. i had to have a test done on tuesday where they stopped my heart anf i flatlined for 10 seconds. Needless to say i will know now what a heart attack will feel like if i ever have one. Wednesday the week before i went to my kidney doctor for a ( Read more... )

since my last journal entry i have been in the hospital a couple of times. I went in for my kidney biopsy which was no fun at all. It didnt hurt though because i couldnt feel it. it was more of the afterward part that caused me so much pain. I had to lay flat on my back for 8 hours and was not allowed up to use the restroom. of course i caused a ( Read more... )

im so bored...theres nothing to do. so i guess im gonna make a list of all the things i have eaten today ( Read more... )

Not much has happened while ive been away. I had a birthday since my last entry. It was on the 31st to be exact. I am now 19 years old. My birthday was nothing special. I only got 2 phone calls that day besides family members. One phone call was from my brothers girlfriend, Lisa. She called me before my own brother called me. The other phone call ( Read more... )

I went and got an EKG done on my heart on monday. It was very uncomfortable. I really didnt like someone rubbing something around my chest. Then shoving it into my ribs. Also that day i had to go pick up a container from my rheumatologist and had to do a 24 hour sample of urine. So everytime i went to the restroom, i had to go in it. Im glad that ( Read more... )

I went to the doctor today. The last doctor visit was when i got sick in his office, so they took me off the immuran because they think that was what caused me to get sick. Now i am put on Methotrexate, which is used to treat cancer patients. Its basically a chemo drug. So basically im on chemo, i guess. I only take this medicine once a week though ( Read more... )

Well i finally went back to work tonight....big mistake. i have a feeling its about time for me to give the damn thing up. I dont want to but if i cant move my body then i dont need to be there anyways. Money is a little tight right now around here, so i kind of need a job to help with medical expenses. Tough choices i have to make right now. ( Read more... )

Polaris ( Read more... )

I dont know why but i cant ever sleep unless i take sleeping pills of which i hate to do but i go back to work on saturday so i will probably take some tomorrow night around 9pm unless i go out and party or something cuz it is friday night. Not much to do though all my friends are away to college and what am i doing? Starting school on march 15 in ( Read more... )

Mentally, Its hard to describe how im feeling. I feel like my life is falling apart. Everything just seems so down at the moment. Everytime i get up, i fall right back down and fall harder and deeper into a never ending depression period. Once again, I lost the meaning of my life. This mentality never ends ( Read more... )