so what now?sleepisasportDecember 31 2004, 21:23:58 UTC
its great that your thinking, let alone that your thinking in contrast to a previous perspective. Thus, it means that you do truly want to change. but into what? you want to change from being the person that causes shit that you dont like, but all you know is that you want things to probably go back the way they were. You can try it, but i dont make any guaruntees based upone your new mental state compared to your previous "normal" mind set. As for your blaming yourself for everything that has happened, its bullshit. think about it, if someone were to throw an insult or any kind of negativity at you, would you care? sure, for about 5 minutes. then you become interested in something completely different. so taking into account the element of human nature, you really shouldnt be so hard on yourself. Looking at your writing, i can tell for the most part that this isnt one of the sub-standard "i need attention" kind of things; kudos to you. with all that said, you have made some truly excellent 'realizations' as you put it. these are
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hi bubba its me ana, and i just read ur message, the fact that you didnt call to at least tell me kind really hurt, but the fact that u reliezed somethings going on makes up for it. Whatever cause this freak chain of reactions shouldnt hold u back, because u know when u come back from college girl we will have to hang... uhn hunh! but I know what this situation feels like, so all u gotta do is, start making it better, and I know u know how. Ur the friend who I know i can always have fun with, the friend who we can just go some place and chat and feel like a million bucks after. I just hope u relieze that I look up to u, I know that sounds so silly but u were the first one at crew to call me by my name instead of chases little sister. Well I hope u gonna have a good new years eve and well new years. Just remeber
"nothing isn't nothing, nothing's something that's important to me. that's right. and everyone's a little nothing, that's ok, that's how it should be." -from ben kweller
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"nothing isn't nothing, nothing's something that's important to me. that's right. and everyone's a little nothing, that's ok, that's how it should
be."
-from ben kweller
~ana
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