And how do I make it go away?

There's an old woman on the sidewalk down at street level, outside my house.  Everything she does is a study in deliberation. Slow. Concentrated. Focused ( Read more... )

The level of falseness that exists in virtual situations.  I've posted a few times making reference to Zack's passing.  I know at least a half a dozen people who have read the babblings that contained those references who not only knew Zack but who professed some kind of great affection for him.  They've sent me great positive messages regarding my ( Read more... )

I'm  sometimes breathtaking in my stupidity.  Never mind that it's 98 degrees outside. Or the hottest part of the day. Whatev. I'm gonna take a six pack and go sit out on the balcony.  Fast forward five beers and three hours later and find me waking up after having been roasting directly in the sun from 1 till 4. In a little patch of sun that ( Read more... )

Just to let people know I'm still here and all is well ( Read more... )

I wrote this last month, when I signed off services with the folks at Belle Reve. My psychiatrist asked me to write an essay explaining what was going on in my life and what my thoughts and priorities were. What I was thinking ( Read more... )

Someone on my friends list posted this. I tend to skip surveys, but as she pointed out, peoples lives change, we miss it, and the next time we hear from them we're not sure what they're talking about anymore.

So, I'm doing it.

1. First Name: Ryan

2. Age: 25. I never in a lifetime thought I'd make it to 25. I'm amazed and I'm a little bit thrilled.

3. ( Read more... )

Not really.   I wonder where a lot of you are. And I wonder how it is that people who once told me how much I meant to them could just kind of....lose interest.  Maybe they didn't. Maybe it's my fault. I disappear. I stop talking. I'm just gone. Then I'm back. I know that kind of thing is hard to take after a while. And of course it's always all ( Read more... )

I've been posting here on livejournal for a long time. Years. I've made a lot of friends here,and in other places online. Some of them are gone now. Hell, people come and go. But some of them I've stayed with all of these years ( Read more... )

Of all of the things I've babbled about here, all of the schizoid episodes and crazed delusions, this entry is the one that's going to seal my fate with a lot of people. This is the one that's going to convince them that I'm utterly insane and no longer dealing in reality ( Read more... )