Because the connection somewhere between my hands and my brain is faulty now, making it hard to write, type, do anything with my hands other than carry stuff, typing has been designated an OT activity. What this means is that I have a long space every day I have to practice fm things including typing.  Sooooooo I get to get online ( Read more... )

My dad used to use a phrase all the time. "You need that like you need a hole in the head ( Read more... )

I I'm a little worried that my friend seems to understand more about my mental state than the doctor I'm paying enormous amounts of money to, does.

This man's job is to understand more about what's going on in peoples heads than they do themselves, and to help them sort it out, deal with it, and make it work.  Instead he doesn't even seem to know ( Read more... )

I'm staying in Dori's unused bedroom while my sister moves out of our apartment ( Read more... )

i dont see sleep happening. Nicks out, but I'm up. I went in the chatroom and literally begged people to please talk to me. They ignored the fuck outta me. Then somebody IM'd me. I answered them but they didn't say anything more ( Read more... )

I keep calling Nicky "Pat ( Read more... )

At this point it's sit down and do something somelodramatic as blog as oppposed to something so cliche as to be a sobbing ruin on my psychiatrists couch.  I should have known that something like this was bound to happen sooner or later, but I guess over the years I've learned to cultivate optimism. i like to hope that things are just gonna work out ( Read more... )

I was sitting here today thinking about all of the things I've gotten wrong, when I think about my life and the people in it ( Read more... )

I had one of those Dominic discussions this morning. The kind that always seem to hang there, tipping  on the edge of epiphany without ever really reaching it.  What it came down to was "Ryan, how can you feel you've lost yourself when you don't even know, when you've never known, who you've ever wanted to be? How do you know you're not already ( Read more... )

Thought I'd let you know that I'm still here, still alive, still breathing and thinking and being...whoever or whatever it is I am ( Read more... )