I've spent about 3K on clothes shopping in one week.  That's right, I'm back in the US and I can't resist a thing.  I was at Macy's and to my surprise, even size 4 was too big so I asked the saleslady if their clothing runs a bit big and she said it didn't.  I didn't believe her until I had the same experience in Banana Republic and BCBG.  I'm ( Read more... )

I'm playing Sudoku in honor of Miss Japan's win of the Universe title.  She appears quite thin but her face is so rounded that I don't find any charm in it.  I do frown on chubby faces and rounded chins, despite the fact that the person can't do much about it.

I've been eating baby apricots and small peaches since yesterday.  They were out of ( Read more... )

I have a distended belly right now.  Feels bad.  I wanna do  something about it but I can't.  Faux pas (aka Sharlit) and I have made a pact that we will neither binge nor purge for the rest of May and we are accountable to one another in this way.  I have had almost an entire 6 lb watermelon along with 3 handfuls of peanuts.  I feel so tempted to ( Read more... )

The prozac is helping.  60 mg a day is good.  I don't think I'm as determined to hate bulimia as I used to be and that's why it's not working as well.  I'm too satisfied, which I have little right to be.  I still have a beepee at least daily, if not twice.  But never more than twice...so thank goodness for that.  I need to get more dedicated to my ( Read more... )

The first time I heard the word "heifer" it sounded extremely degrading and vulgar.  It still does.

I am disgusting.  I just ate two Nutrageous bars...told myself I'd keep them down and then 30 minutes later filled a large teacup with almonds, 2 Tablespoons of sugar, and draped them in Hershey's chocolate syrup.  Spooned the nasty shit right up, ( Read more... )

I didn't know this could happen.  This is new.  Fresh.

I was purging some typical crap 3 days ago...and while I was hunched over purging, I tore a muscle in the right side of my chest...right at the upper breast area.  It feels like a slice between the front of my chest and the back.  Breathing hurts now, laying down hurts...and bulimia is almost ( Read more... )

Buttery flatbread, cream cake, mango ice cream, 3 cream rolls, chicken biryani.  diet pepsi.

All coming up soon.  I don't feel like bringing it up but it has to come up.  Fat is worse than 5 minutes of purging pain.  Strangely, on prozac, even purging seems more unappealing and disgusting.  It's harder to get yourself  in the bathroom.

I saw a girl ( Read more... )

I just got back from one of the most naturally beautiful and secluded ski areas in the world.  It was really something dangerous and something special...exotic.  In the air, I flew past Nangaparbat - the 3rd tallest mountain in the world located in the Himalayan Range.  Snow-capped delights in every direction.

Skiing really takes a lot out of you ( Read more... )

I'm watching Discovery and there's a program called Deadly Women.  Mostly clever entreprenurial women who killed to turn a profit.  There was a group of about eight women in Liverpool who bought insurance on everyone they knew...and four of them would carry out the murders and collect.  Another women in CT was cleverly the pioneer of the nursing ( Read more... )

There is so much to say about the dinner I was forced into last night, but I won't.  Let me give you the highlights.  I felt like a stuffed pig but I managed to convince myself I am pretty enough to enjoy the outting.  It was not as miserable as I thought it would be...especially since I had green tea before going and therefore was not wrestling ( Read more... )