I still miss you. I want it to go away, and at the same time I don't. I want to remember. I want to remember that I loved you and was afraid to say it. I stopped myself because I thought I was doing what was right for both of us. I didn't ever say it to you because I didn't trust that I wasn't going to try and take it back. I also didn't trust that ( Read more... )

Listen to this you bitch. Yes, I am drunk. I haven't been for quite some time but hey even the best of us trickle down into the slums. What's funny is that I am proud. Proud and angry as I stand before a memory that seems to be a lie. How could it be true if this is where we are? Where is the missing piece of the puzzle? It's not you, or the ( Read more... )

Man touches the sun. He then turns and calls it pointless because he's afraid he'll never do it again, never feel it again, and never accomplish anything as great. A lie to continue life that ends happiness, and the point of living. But should he realize the gravity of his choice he may very well save himself by turning back to the sun and move ( Read more... )

My emotions have finally breached the surface of the ice I've kept them under. Slowly they've regained their own warmth, and see their would be executioner and don't understand. I don't understand either, not how or why. One day it seemed as though I felt far too much, the next I was incapable of feeling a thing. Even remembering the feelings I ( Read more... )

It's good to feel again. To touch something again. To be able to hope for something, and believe that it's possible. To do what I want. To think I can do it, and want to do it. I'm not a writer, I'm an actor. I don't write stories, I perform them. But I'm trying to write so that I can perform them. If no one will hire me then I have to make work ( Read more... )

More things I have to think through, to come to terms with, to keep myself from hiding. I want to understand myself again ( Read more... )

My head thumps becuase I have kept myself up so late. I don't care. Thiings should be done before I sleep. Resolutions should be found, and problems solved. When the day serves no purpose the night must make up for it.

I've revealed too much. I care too much right now, in this fleeting moment before I sleep, about what may not matter to me at all tomorrow. I'm tired and this gives that fucking abyss of unclear and undefined emotions more power. Reason gives way to anger. My vision is blurred. I don't see I only react. I am laughing, again, at how ridiculous this ( Read more... )

Still tired. I want to sleep, but once again there is too much in my head to sleep. But I am too tired to say what I want to say, too tired too say anything at all. Sleep, but don't forget the things to do.

I have grown old. I lost the thought of love. It has little reverence, I would have died for it at one point in time. Now it's gone. Forgotten, secondary to life. I do not need love to live. Some would say that I am just lieing to myself to keep myself safe from love, from it's pain. That's not true. I would like to be reverent about anything, even ( Read more... )