i haven't written in so long, and so much has happened since the last time i did. i dated a boy, and he dissapeared, leaving me dissapointed and feeling foolish, yet again. amanda hates me, for something i never did, and i can't bring myself to get over it. my hair is so long, and i've dyed it a dozen times over. i've lost a lot of weight. ( Read more... )

so i had a fairly nice day today. i almost passed out again, this morning. i need to get that checked, seriously, it's getting annoying. i miss kyle. i need more cigarettes. i got a new hoody, brian let me have it...i needed a new one. i had a nice night with brian last night...he's about the only thing that saved me from a horrid night. i'm ( Read more... )

i was going down the highway today with eric, amanda and william, and i was smoking a black clove and just laying there in the silence with the wind whipping my hair around, and i just didn't care...i was inexplicably happy. it hit me, so suddenly, i couldn't believe it, i haven't felt that in a while. it caught me off guard. i just wanted to ( Read more... )

i'm very, very tired. i've had a good few days, no crying, no nothing of the sort. but tonight is going to be bad, i think. i'm having random memories of things and it's hurting me a lot. i just feel lost and broken. i don't know how much strength i have left in me...i don't know if i want to use it at all. i don't know if i can. i'd like to ( Read more... )

lovely weather, yes, mm-hmm. i found out that tomorrow is ms. maguire's play. deirdre, cassie, destiny, william, eric, amanda and me are all going. someone else was hopefully going to go with me, but shit happens. i'm thinking about asking corey to go with me, that might be nice. mandre took some really lovely pictures of me and her tonight. ( Read more... )

i saw the light of the sun in your eyes ( Read more... )

i had a revelation. i've entered my 'anger' stage at this point. i hit it tonight, about an hour ago by way of receiving information by way of amanda. i'm so glad i did. i'm so sick of all this bullshit and this wondering and this questioning myself, so i suppose i won't do it anymore. i've made plans to hang out with lee and corey and so i'm ( Read more... )

"so our open wounds will bleed until our veins run dry. now we've got to take this thorn and tear it from our sides...so swallow the knife, carve away at your pride ( Read more... )

i'm tired. so tired. of everything. so tired.

i want to not be tired anymore.

so today was ok. i was very tired. i think. i don't remember much right now :] i've been smoking. i got to eat at waffle house with eric and amanda. and i saw felix and casey. and met some other people. and now i'm waiting for my pat<3he's at one of his bitches house. sounds like fun. i'm so tired now. i wanted to stay the night out with ( Read more... )