Aural sex and cunning linguists

[buzz_cut]

Heh, I know it's mean to laugh at your buddy's marital woes (especially if they're of the bedroom variety), but when recently-wed Kevin (Kev) lamented about his sad state of aural sex to Mike and me during a boys night out, we choked on our beer which came right back out through our nostrils! Uh-huh, that's aural sex (or the lack of it!) as in

Comments

[chocolateey]

Woah....very educational post;)

My kids said the latest term is "Smack That!"

GEEZ!

Or maybe, to put it simply, it is called "Jr".

:P

[buzz_cut]

Smack that, all on the floor,
Smack that, give me some more,
Smack that, 'till you get sore
Smack that, oooh...

I dig that Akon, but that's not his most "dirty talking" song lah. Heheh! Wah, Your kids are up to date hor ... but why are they telling this to their teacher? Hmmm ... HMMMM ... I think they're waiting for you to smack them (all on the floor) ... smack them ('tll they get sore) ... Muahahaha! ;)

DEH!!! WRONG!!! Jr = small = foul play = red card! DEH!!! Babe, acceptable nicknames are Godzilla, Monster, Bazooka, Torpedo ... get the drift? Jr, Little Brother, Small One, Mini Me ... all salah! Tsk!

[anonymous]

Wahaha.. this post really made my day! Always like reading ur posts. :) Anyway.. Women come in all shapes and sizes. I guess Mrs Kev just happens to be less 'vocal'.. Can possibly be because of her upbringing. I have some gal pals who come from strict traditional families and they have a not too 'accurate' understanding of love making as it is probably seen as a 'taboo' subject in their families. Somehow they have the idea that 'it' is a 'dirty' act and not proper. Also, some think that the guys should be the ones taking initiative and be the ones who 'want it' and not the gals. So they may subconsciously control their urges or their 'expression'. I guess it will probably take some time for the guy to get his partner to loosen up and little and enjoy 'the act'. :P Your fren Kev will probably need to take things easy and gently ease his wife into 'it' or else poor Mrs Kev may get 'culture shock' and get 'scarred'.. hee.. ;)

-lil' cow-

[buzz_cut]

Actually, Kev's the one who's having culture shock and being scarred right now. A major bruise to a guy's ego when all his masterly bedroom prowess are met with stone silence hor. Poor Kev ... I wonder if he'll ever be the same again. Muahahahaha! *snorts beer from nostrils*

Heh, I've met really "guai" gals like the ones you described. You're right, it takes time and patience to get them to open up ... erm, metaphorically speaking I mean. *ahem* First they have to feel loved and safe with you ... then they have to feel sexy ... then they have to feel REALLY sexy ... then sexy enough to actually behave sexily (hopefully with you) ... then and only then got hope to take it further, assuming the guy hasn't peng san yet. LOL! Luckily gorillas are patient creatures despite their cheekiness. ;)

[anonymous]

hmm.. whether or not the girl has to feel sexy or not I'm not too sure. But one thing for sure, the gal gotta feel loved and cared for. :)

U sure gorillas are patient creatures? *looks at Buzz quizzically* I tot it's a case of thumping chest and 'awww-eee-awww' then whack? Hahaha..

-lil' cow-

[buzz_cut]

If she only feels loved, she might just want to cuddle. Not good, not good. So I think she must feel sexy too in order to get to "I want you now, lao gong!!! Gimme your [adjective-noun]! My [not dry] [another name for cat] wants your [adjective-noun] NOW!!!" *GROOOOOOWL* :)

Erm, we gorillas can thump our chest and awww-eee-awww a bit longer if the gal not warmed up yet lah. *ahem*

[smoothtex]

Reading your blog makes me realize that you're dirty (slap) ...a DIRTY FILTHY WHORE! (slap slap)

[buzz_cut]

HAHAHA! OK BITCH, you pass the cunning linguist test with flying colours! *whip* *flog*

OK, this is so wrong. I need to go off and have loud aural sex with a woman RIGHT NOW!

[2dogsnme]

I would think being TOO loud would be a stickier issue. :p

But I guess it's only a problem for people who live with their parents. =x

[buzz_cut]

Heheh, being too loud isn't the issue actually ... being heard is. The (im)moral of the story: Make sure you sound-proof your bedroom ... and stress test the bed to make sure it doesn't contribute to aural sex with loud squeaks. :)

Of coz there's always the option to knock out the 'rents with valium...

[2dogsnme]

I guess I'm lucky that my dad snores like a mini orchestra so I think it deafens out any moaning that may drift into their room. But I have been told (actually, don't need to tell also quite obvious. koff koff) that I'm extremely loud (must be the scorpio thing. or not) so it's mildly annoying to have to hold back the moaning. Which then strikes me as odd that Mrs Kev can stay so quiet because it seems almost impossible. Unless she doesn't feel any pleasure. koff.

I wish I can move out!

[buzz_cut]

You notorious scorpio babes! I meant that as a compliment of coz. ;)

Yah, I think Kev just sucks at sex lah. LOL! Well, he claims she feels "silly" making strange noises and faces wor. She must be talkning about Kev actually. Muahahaha! I'm such an evil buddy. >:)

[hotshotss]

Considering her...religious background, not surprised :P
Anyway, not anything that a little fingering won't loosen up, haha!

*snort*

[buzz_cut]

OMG, a cunning fingerist! And dude, if you want any action, you do not "finger" women lah. You caress her passionately. *snort* ;)