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Locket
Your father is with you, now. Resting in the hollow of your throat, resting in a gold locket. It's small, on a delicate chain. It's not fancy, there is no engraving, the chain is unembellished, so it's perfect. It's not about the look, it's about what's inside ( Read more... ) -
You are still five years ago.
You purge, really purge, for the first time in this apartment. This place where you live with your husband. It feels so horribly wrong, like you have desantified this home. You're disgusting and ashamed. You don't think that you'll never purge again, but maybe you won't purge here. But it's been so long, you've forgotten how. You make loud, ugly ( Read more... ) -
The kind of human wreckage I adore
You still read her old journals online. She hasn't updated since before your last desperate fight, but you want to hear her words still. Four years, and you think about her almost every day. She was a creature, but she was your creature, and you would do almost anything to see her again. You would get her address from a friend and send her roses on ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Totally obsessed with the song Be Like You by Ed Sheeran right now.
"When I'm missing you, I'll stop eating food."
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MA0EnWQ8Ds4
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(Untitled)
Who would've thought I would ever be this excited about being 135. How life changes.
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Gone
He died.
It still feels strange. Hollow, but full. It echos inside your ribs, not a wind but a whisper.
He died.
You have never experienced this before. Not really. You have lost people, and you have cut people out of your life (Her), but no one so close has ever moved on. Passed away. Shuffled the mortal coil. Died.
The sorrow is strange. It's ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I know it's stupid, but I miss my eating disorder. I think the only reason I don't fall back into it is because I am lazy. -
OBGYN anxiety question...
I know that this is a BPD forum, but a lot of you have anxiety and sexual assault history, so I thought maybe you guys would have some advice. If this post is not okay for this forum, you guys can let me know and I'll take it down. <3 ( Read more... ) -
Forever is a frame of mind
He doesn't hear you say stop, misunderstands, and that's all it takes. He is so much stronger than you. He could overpower you. It would be easy ( Read more... ) -
Never, ever forget
Going through old journals of last year. I need to remember what I did. I can't ever forget the lessons I've learned ( Read more... )