Ohmygawd, the funniest thing I've read in forever. I guffawed, snorted and then boisterously laughed at my snort.

Picture it....Sicily.....or rather, Austin.

The headline: Two sentenced to six years each for attacking gay man
Before you start getting all cuhrazy, I love me some gays. That's not the funny part. It's coming.

The assailants: Darren ( Read more... )

my name is cabcutie, i am twenty eight years old and i love the o.c.i have absolutely no shame about loving the o.c....do i look forward to it from 8pm thursday nights to 7pm the following thursday? yes ( Read more... )

This past weekend, Tao and I kidnapped our new niece (with her ma's permission, of course) and attempted to take care of her in a desperate bid to prove to ourselves that we could totally handle children. I'll admit to making fun of those tired moms who whined about not getting enough sleep or who would complain that a two month old was "such hard ( Read more... )

....failed. I look back on my journal entries of yesteryear and laugh heartily at the dreams of a young naive girl of 27. As a 28 year old, I can see that my idealism, while endearing, was also childish and absurd. Did I lose the 35 pounds, you ask, "by summer's end?" Why are you asking? Why? Do I look fat? YOU HATE ME ( Read more... )

i know there are a lot of emo kids out there who will hate to hear me say this, but god damn if dashboard confessional's cover of REM's automatic for the people didn't suck donkey balls. granted, i only heard one of the covers this morning while i was ironing, but jesus almighty in the heavens!!!!! and poor michael stipe was in the audience with ( Read more... )

my mission: to lose 35 pounds by this summer, or at least the end of it ( Read more... )

you know that feeling where you're like leonardo di caprio on the edge of the titanic, arms outstretched, screaming, "i'm king of the muthafuckin world?" well, imagine that two seconds after you said that an albatross took a fishy dump in your open, screaming mouth. now loop that scenario for 3 days straight and that was my weekend ( Read more... )

I mean seriously.....how hard would it be for some nice person to buy me this:

this past weekend was one of those bittersweet deals....tao had to go out of town on bid-ness for the weekend which was sad but my mom came into town to vist me and we had such a good time. now, i know it's like, your mom?? how can you have a good time with a mom?? trust me, you can. we saw cold creek manor this past weekend which sucked a raccoon' ( Read more... )

last week i came down with an upper respiratory infection so i didn't have to come into this chamber of torture they call work for two whole days. can you come down with an upper infection....? i was forced to take an antibiotic called z-pak or something else superhero-sounding like that and it would make me nauseous for an hour every time i took ( Read more... )