Well, I'm getting on with my life. Had to take some extra pain meds to get me through the day, but I clocked a good 8 hours working on my crap car today. Woulda spent that much time on my car yesterday, but I was cleaning instead, preparing for company that couldn't come ( Read more... )

I am so done with people right now. I am so just gonna stay home, minus an appointment on Thursday. It feels like I'm always the one putting more effort into friendships and relationships, and I am not reaping what I sew. And it drives me nuts when someone says they're gonna do something, and then later tell me they can't. One time I can forgive, ( Read more... )

I swear if I never hear that song I Wanna Make Love Right Now by Akon ever again it will still be too soon.

So I let her convince me to let us remain friends even though we are no longer together. At first I didn't want to be. It's hard for me to hang out with someone that I'm still in love with and unable to partake in all those little things I cherish in a relationship, like kisses and holding hands and falling asleep cuddled together. I guess there's ( Read more... )

Ya know. I'm really starting to hate my life again. Every day, it seems, a little more shit piles up on my plate. Today, on top of forgetting to take my bedtime meds and therefore being in more pain most of the day so far, another cavity filling fell out... on the front of one of my front teeth. So don't expect me to smile any time soon. I have to ( Read more... )

I'm so confused. I hear train sounds... Like train crossing chimes and train horns. But... It's Calistoga. There are no train tracks here. Well, there are, but they have stationary train cars on them and have been turned into shops for the tourists. I'd go explore the town to see just what the hell is going on, but that would require me change into ( Read more... )

Grumble grumble had an appointment in SF today. Gonna double my gabapentin from 1200 to 2400 mg a day. Heading home, north on 101, traffic does one of those 70 to 0 in way too short a time. The guy behind me, he almost hit the brakes hard enough. Nudged me a couple inches. Scared the crap outta me. Lucky, the exit I wanted was next, so I took it. ( Read more... )

Time to start deleting all the wonderful texts and pictures from something that is no more. If I had the courage to kill myself, I would. Maybe I'll try. I'll never love less. I cannot contain this heart of mine. Perhaps those old lines from Hamlet that I fell in love with when I was in high school are simply a symbol of the kind of tragedy of a ( Read more... )

I broke up with her. Because she doesn't want to be settled down. Fine. I guess some people can't see a good thing when they have it. I'm heartbroken. I'm crying. I don't want to talk to anyone. Fuck this. If she moves in with my Sacto best friend, I won't be able to talk to her either. Because it will hurt to fucking much. Because I love that girl ( Read more... )

It's begun. In a moment of rage I set the wheels in motion. I took a path. And there's no turning back. I almost regret it. But I needed to be heard. Not heard. Understood. My plight isn't something that uncommon. But the parties involved don't see the danger involved. But it wasn't I who changed the future. I only fanned the flames that were ( Read more... )