Money Can Buy You Love. And Glitter. Chapter 48.3
Summary: AU set approximately three years after Adam Lambert won Season 8 of American Idol. He has a successful career but after a string of failed relationships, has more or less given up on romance and is focusing on his career to the point of being a workaholic. He still has trouble with inappropriate appearances of the glambulge during performance and still loves glitter. Kris Allen is a singer/guitarist from Arkansas who moved to LA nearly two years ago to try and break into the business and get away from a small town and family life that became uncomfortable after he came out of the closet. He's just about ready to give up hope of making it into the business. He's still wearing plaid.
Rating: This chapter is R/NC-17.
Ship:: Adam/Kris
Story chapters:
Chapter 1: Meet cute in coffee shop Chapter 2: Car trouble Chapter 3: Geocaching? Chapter 4: Dinner and a picture
Chapter 5: Bring your boyfriend to work day Chapter 6: Date at the museum
Chapter 7: Opening the door Chapter 8: Showing the cracks Chapter 9: Cracked eggs, cracked plaster, cracked plans Chapter 10: Hunger games Chapter 11: Inspired, tested, and almost-dazzled Chapter 12: Define slutty for me
Chapter 13: Decisions, decisions Chapter 14: Of moms and meat Chapter 15: Holding on Chapter 16: Coming clean
Chapter 17: Dusty disguises and dodging the issue Chapter 18: Punked and paint
Chapter 19: This glitter is not meant for internal use Chapter 20: Home improvement
Chapter 21.1: Sharp edges and sweet tongues Chapter 21.2: Sharp edges and sweet tongues SECOND HALF
Chapter 22.1: Holding close and laying out Chapter 22.2: Holding close and laying out SECOND HALF
Chapter 23.1: Messes and make up Chapter 23.2: Messes and make up SECOND HALF
Chapter 24: Taken Chapter 25: Stuffing Chapter 25.2: Stuffing CONTINUED
Chapter 26.1: Feeling full Chapter 26.2: Second entry Chapter 27: Winning Chapter 28: Thirty-eight cents
Chapter 29: When you walked in the joint Chapter 30.1: I could tell you were a man of distinction Chapter 30.2: A real big spender Chapter 30.3: Good looking, so refined Chapter 31: Spend a little time with me
Chapter 32.1: Spend a lotta time with me Chapter 32.2: Chapter 32.3 Chapter 32.4 Chapter 32.5
Chapter 33: Well, I can do the mashed potato. Well, I can do the twist Chapter 34: Leashes, collars and cuffs! Oh my! Chapter 35: On the carpet, off the script, on the table Chapter 36.1: Consequences, unintended and otherwise
Chapter 36.2: Consequences cont'd Chapter 37: Turkey baster bukkake Chapter 38: Ball juggling Chapter 39: The minor fall, the major lift Chapter 40.1: Walking the Shar-Peis of life Chapter 40.2: Walking the Shar-Peis of life part 2 Chapter 41: Is this the real life? Chapter 42: Baggage handling Chapter 43: Tying ends up Chapter 44: Whack a Mole Chapter 45.1: The Sweetest Chance Is... Chapter 45.2: The Second Chance. Chapter 46: Diving In. and is here: Chapter 47.1: Pyro Chapter 47.2: Pyro Chapter 47.3: Pyro Chapter 48.1: If mama ain't happy Chapter 48.2
Chapter 48.3
Kris reached his hand out automatically, but his fingers met only rumpled sheets. Rubbing his eyes, he looked blearily at Adam's side of the bed.
"We should sleep, remember?" Kris asked, levering up on one elbow to watch Adam's back as he looked out the window. Adam was very still. Which was unnatural. Either Adam had a migraine -- in which case, he wouldn't be looking out the window -- or he was..."Are you freaking out?"
"Yup."
"It's a very quiet freak out."
"I'm practicing for when the baby comes home. Babies need to sleep." Adam forced himself to stillness. He was not going to yell or run around or get wasted or even swim. He. Was. Not. Because he was in control.
Kris waited and watched. When Adam kept perfectly still and silent, Kris shivered. "Okay, now you're freaking me out. You're not being hyper."
"I'm... gathering my focal points." Adam forced himself to breathe slowly and evenly. He had to have learned something useful from those hideous childbirth classes with those hideous videos. "So I can coalesce them into a locus of my own power."
"Of course you are." As Kris' eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, he saw the tightness in the muscles of Adam's back and got slowly out of the bed to walk toward him.
Adam stiffened as Kris wrapped his arms around him from behind. Oh great, Kris was comforting him. Great. "It's a more effective way of channeling my needs and desires and energies--"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I went to visit this shaman."
"Of course you did. But where?"
"In Weho."
"Of course." Kris rolled his eyes. Because an authentic shaman was going to be found amongst the gay bars and Whole Foods store and sushi places. He sighed and rested his head on Adam's back. "Without telling me."
Adam frowned. "I swear I can hear your eyes rolling in your head. You think it was stupid. So I didn't need to see you rolling your eyes, while you placate me."
"Not stupid," Kris protested automatically, having heard the tentative quality or was it self-derision in Adam's voice? And damn, Adam realized that sometimes he was just placating him? Oh hell, his ass was gonna be grass if... Focus, Allen, on the important point here, he told himself, that Adam was nervous. "Now that Emmaline's here, you're anxious about being a dad again, aren't you?"
"Honestly?" Adam sighed, watching the moisture of his breath condense on the window pane. "I'm terrified. What if I screw up? Oh hell, we all know I'm gonna screw up. I do that--"
"We all do that!" Kris hurried to interrupt what he knew was going to turn into one of Adam's warp-speed rants. "We all do. In fact, Adam--"
"But I screw up in public. Which is embarrassing--"
"Sweetie, that was a long time ago!" Kris protested. He'd thought Adam was over worrying about the old days.
"I'm gonna embarrass that precious child. I know it. Plus I rush into things and I'm a control freak -- what if I try to control Emmaline and then she hates me for it? What if I embarrass her? And she's gonna be a celebrity's kid. Total nightmare. And--"
"Shhhh...." Kris gently ran his hands over Adam's chest, feeling the slickness of sweat and heated skin under his fingers. "All parents embarrass their kids. It's natural. Even if we are the coolest dads ever, we'll still embarrass her. That's the way it goes. It's like the natural order of the universe or somethin'. And she'll survive it just like we survived it. It's okeydokey, okay?"
"Okay. I can get that." Adam nodded. His dad had embarrassed him a time or two, but Kris was right -- he survived and his dad had ended up being pretty damn cool. "But what about the control stuff?"
"What about the fact that I can be too passive and easy-going? Dani and I are here too, you know. You're not alone. We'll all be good checks and balances on each other. I'll be too laid back, you'll be too controlling and Dani'll be just right. Ha. We're like the Three Bears!"
"The Three Bears..." Adam smiled and turned around within the circle of Kris' arms. "Aren't you worried about being a dad?"
"Adam...." Kris held Adam's hands. "Honestly, I'm nervous too. It's not like I have a good role model to draw on. But you know what? Here's my thought -- No matter what we do, we're gonna be better dads than my father, right?"
"Oh. That's true." Adam nodded. "And even with an asshole for a father, you turned out to be the most awesome man I know."
"Kick-ass awesome, let me remind you!" Kris teased, relieved that he felt Adam's muscle relax at least a bit. "You know..." He ran his hands up Adam's arms, then looped them around Adam's neck. "I know a good way to relieve some stress."
"Do you?" Adam smiled. "Let me get my shorts and --"
"Get your shorts?" Kris echoed in confusion.
"Yeah. To go swimming. But I guess I don't need any, right? There are no paps out in the bushes. So we could go swimming nude. That'd be great." Adam nodded, hiding his grin as Kris stared up at him incredulously. "That's what you meant by a way to reduce stress, right?" He paused and waited for Kris to suck in an annoyed breath. 1, 2, Success! "Swimming?" He paused again when Kris slid his hands down to his chest and pushed, pushed him back towards the bed. "You're always telling me to go swimming as a way to-- Ooof!" Adam shrieked loudly, perhaps more loudly than necessary, but what the hell, this was probably the last time they were going to be alone in this house for how long and maybe he should get this room sound proofed and... "Oh, Kris, what are you doing?" He sucked in a hopeful breath as Kris knelt on the bed between his legs.
"Getting you ready to fuck me. Hard." Kris licked a long wet line from the base of Adam's cock to the tip, then teased the slit, gratified that Adam was erect by the time he'd flicked his tongue three times. Kinda like Dorothy clicking her shoes.
"Are you sure?" Adam curled his hands around Kris' biceps and flipped him underneath him. "Because we can just go swimming."
"The only wetness I want right now is your come inside me. Got it?" Kris glared at Adam while reaching his hand back under the pillows.
"I don't know. You keep telling me that swimming is--" Adam laughed as Kris crossed his eyes and then flung the tube of lube at him. "Oh, so you want a different option? Well, I'm all about optional life choices, aren't I?"
"Just. Fuck. Me." Kris waited impatiently while Adam took his time with the lube. He drummed his fingers against the bed, then grinned himself as he spread his legs further apart and slid his hand between his legs. "Or I can always get started without you..." When Adam shoved his hands away, then seconds later, slid inside Kris until he was buried to the hilt, Kris grabbed at him and gasped, "Or not. Better with you, always. Now... Fuck me. For stress relief... Oh hell yeah, right there..."
"Are you sleeping?" Adam asked, his voice a whisper of sound. He had been drifting in and out of sleep. He gently stroked the the taut skin of Kris' stomach, unsure if minutes or hours had passed.
"Yes," Kris whispered back, snuggling back into Adam's embrace. "I'm dead to the world."
"God, what a snot." Adam sighed. "Who knew you were such a snot? I'm pretty sure I didn't check off the snotty attitude box on my order for the perfect boyfriend at the boyfriend store!"
"Complain to Geoffrey about his poor customer service," Kris sniped as he rolled over to face Adam. "Well, of course, I'm awake!"
"What are you thinking?" Adam asked, lifting a heavy hand to brush the hair off of Kris' forehead.
"I'm thinking..." Kris wiggled deeper into Adam's embrace, tangling their legs together. "That after watching the baby come out of --"
Shuddering, Adam warned, "Don't even say it. I may -- no, that's wrong. I will never recover from seeing that. In fact, I will--"
"Okay." Kris smothered his giggles against Adam's chest as Adam carried on while he kept giggling. When Adam finally trailed off, Kris kissed Adam's chest, then since it was there, just kinda waiting for him, kissed his nipple. Then since, why not? He licked it. Then again when Adam's muscles twitched at him. Which was surely a sign he wanted more. Sliding his thigh between Adam's legs, he pressed up, gently, sighing when he felt Adam's cock waking up. Damn, he was a lucky man. He moved his hips closer to Adam's and sighed. A lucky man in many ways. Oh hell yeah. "Okay, let's put it this way. I'll never complain about how big you are again."
"Ha! You never complain!" Adam scoffed.
"Because I'm that type of guy...who gives and gives and gives..." Kris sniffed, rolled onto his back, then in his best imitation of Brad, put the back of his hand languidly over his forehead and sniffed again. He sighed. Loudly. Then sighed again and whispered, "The kind of guy who--"
"Is a size queen." Adam grinned, then laughed as Kris shoved at him before wiggling close and giggling. He waited a moment, counting because if theater had taught him nothing, it had taught him that timing was everything, then added, "Besides, you didn't actually watch the baby coming out."
Leaning up on one elbow, Kris glared down at Adam's smirky face. "Yes, I did!"
"No, you didn't. You had your hands over your face."
"I was peeking through my fingers."
"Peeking through your fingers?" Adam laughed, then poked Kris' ass. "Wimp. Seriously, dude. A wimp."
"I'm not a wimp!" Kris retorted, rolling on top of Adam.
"You fainted. Fainted." Adam smirked his smuggest smirk, knowing it would seriously agitate Kris. He liked it when Kris went total hedgehog on him. He was also damn fond of Kris wiggling on top of him too and was willing to do quite a lot to feel more of that. "The nurse had to use smelling salts on you."
"I'm tough!" Kris patted around the nightstand until he found the lube. He coated his fingers, then his ass, before sliding his hand over Adam's cock, then down over his smooth balls. "I take your cock up my ass. Only a tough guy could do that."
"Oooh, tough guy?" Adam laughed, then moaned as Kris' fingers hit a spot that made him shiver and open his legs. "You are tough. I'm afraid of you. I'll do whatever you want. Tough guy." He planted his feed on the bed and lifted his hips, groaning, then moaning as Kris swung around and straddled him. Holding Kris' hips and his own breath, Adam pushed his hips up as Kris pushed down, both of them gasping when they connected with Adam's cock deep inside of Kris.
Immediately beginning to ride Adam in slow, deep strokes with one hand planted on Adam's thigh and the other stroking his balls, Kris bit his lip, then wondered why. He might as well make noise now and they should sound proof this room and... "Yeah, god, you're good..." Crying out loudly as Adam filled him over and over, Kris sucked in a breath and asked, "You still worried?"
"I'll worry about it tomorrow." Adam shook his head as he focused on the sight of Kris' ass clenching and releasing and the butt dimples under his hand as they found a way to release stress.
"Adam's worried about Emmaline being a celebrity kid," Kris told Lane the next morning. Or afternoon. He wasn't quite sure any more.
Lane thought, then nodded. "I understand his concern."
"Me too." Cale nodded. "Good lord, I just realized -- Emmaline could be one of those hair floppers!"
"Hair floppers?" Kris asked.
"Yeah. Like Willow Smith." Cale bent over and swung his head around.
Lane stared at him. "You look like a dog who's been infected with distemper."
"Oh, you sweet talker!" Cale said in light tone, then turned back to Adam. "You know. Flopping her hair around like some fool. While makin' a ton of money, gotta admit. But your kids won't need to be out there, selling themselves--"
"You got that right. Selling themselves like that? Over my dead body," Kris said flatly. "She's not gonna flop her hair around or dear god, be a Kardashian."
"Or Lindsey Lohan." Adam groaned and put his face in his hands. "God, she was such a cute kid and now? My kid will not turn out like that! But how..."
"That's right, your daughter will not turn out like that," Lane agreed, reaching over to hold Adam's hand. "Because you're not going to be a parent like that, whoring your kid out. Are you?"
"Of course not! I"m not a pimp." Adam shuddered. "But even still, the paps and..."
"I'm going to give you Jen Garner's number. You should talk to her," Lane suggested, holidng out her hand for Adam's phone. While programming the number in, she added, "Her kids do appear in the pap photos occasionally -- there's really no way to entirely avoid that except for moving to..." She shuddered, "Some place like Petticoat Junction and then there would be other, far more disastrous issues to contend with. But they've had quite good luck at keeping their kids safe and out of the public eye."
Adam nodded and took his phone back. "I... thanks, Laney. I guess I was just so focused on the tour and helping Dani through the pregnancy..."
"And Brian, the pond scum who talks," Lane added, her mouth twisting. God, she hoped they'd seen the last of that leech. How Adam had found enough self control to avoid punching that wanker in his bloody nose, she did not know.
"Yes, him too." Adam curled his hand into a fist, then forced himself to relax. "I guess I was just repressing my fears about being a dad and now..." He shook his head. "What lousy timing."
Cale shook his head. "I don't know a single one of my friends or family who didn't have some sort of a freak out after their first kid was born. Didn't anyone tell you that's normal? Because if not? Helloooooooooooo! I'll tell you. It's normal, dude. Stop fussing at yourself!"
Adam laughed. "Thanks, Cale."
"Why don't you call your dad?" Kris suggested. "I bet he'll tell you that he was afraid before you were born and when they brought you home."
"Was I afraid?" Eber laughed as he sliced through the mound of pancakes and eyed the fruit and yogurt on Adam's plate with disgust. "Son, I still have fears. You never get over that. I read once that parenthood is a constant state of fear."
"Wow. Sounds like fun!" Neil said sarcastically, before sipping his coffee. "Can't imagine why I'm not rushing into fatherhood. Can't imagine why Adam's nervous. And he's going to be seen as a vanguard of social change in the family structure, so... way to be helpful."
"Yeah, Dad, you're not exactly making me feel better," Adam agreed. "Why did I ask you to breakfast before seeing the baby?"
"What I meant," Eber tried again, hearing the jittery tone in Adam's voice. Poor guy probably had barely slept. Well, get used to it, he thought, then tried again. "What I meant was that when you become a parent, you worry about their survival at first, then if they're meeting their milestones, then if they're happy. And thirty years later, I'm still worried about your happiness. But that's how you feel when you're a good parent. The fact that you are worried is a good sign. It means you're going to try your best in a conscious way, so you'll succeed."
"That's kinda what Kris said." Adam pushed the raspberries around on his plate and eyed his father's pancakes enviously. "But how do I..."
"You fake it 'til you make it," Eber advised. He sighed and plopped a large section of pancakes on Adam's plate. "Eat it. A few carbs won't kill you."
Adam thought and chewed, then thought some more. He could do that. He'd done it many times on stage -- sometimes you didn't find that sweet spot in performing for a little while, but you still had to please the audience. He did it often enough during promo with certain interviewers. "Kind of like on set or with promo."
"Porno?' Eber squawked, kicking Neil under the table. "You're not doing porno, are you?"
"No, no--"
"I hope not. Because...eww... People will send twitvids to me and really, bro, there's got to be limits!" Neil groaned.
Eber nodded. "And more importantly than Neil's ever-so-delicate sensibilities is the fact that doing porno would indeed be a bad parenting move."
"No kidding," Neil agreed. "They'd hold that over you forever the way we torture Mom and Dad with pictures of them from the 1970s. And Dad's ill-fated foray into a a goatee. Which, come to think of it, you've already tried the goatee, Adam, so--"
Adam tried again, although not too hard, since he knew his family was working hard at distracting him. "I'm not--"
Neil drawled slowly, "I know you've spent a lot of time and effort working on overcoming your body image issues, but I hardly think doing porno will facilitate--"
"I'm-- Hey, I haven't had body image issues in a long time. I did Hair in the nude!"
Eber stroked his chin as if he were in deep thought. "And talk about it all the time. A secure man doesn't have to talk about it all the time."
"I don't talk about it all the tiiiime!" Adam thought the squeak he put into his voice at the end of the sentence was an excellent line reading.
"Then I guess you're secure. So why are you doing the porno again?" Eber hoped he looking appropriately confused.
"I'm not!"
"Well, why did you tell me you were? That's not a nice prank to play on the old man."
"You..." Adam ground his teeth together, then looked over at his brother, who was nearly falling out of his chair, he was laughing so hard. "You were putting me on."
"Indeed." Eber shook his head. "But it got you out of that rut of worrying, didn't it?"
"Well..."
"It did. Ad." Eber tapped Adam's hand. Adam had a natural tendency to fall down a rabbit hole of fretting and once he got into that hole, it was difficult to get him out. He'd had an especially hard time three or four years ago -- well, before he'd met Kris. Thank god. "You're not going to be perfect. I wasn't. No one is. But you have a head start because you know your own shortcomings."
"And Kris and Dani will be all over your ass if your pulls any crap," Neil offered. "And Lane. She's a freaking slave driver."
Adam nodded. "Well, that's true."
"See?" Eber agreed. "As long as your conscious of what you do, you'll be great. So how are you going to release the news?"
"Let me guess." Neil pointed to Adam's phone. "Twitter. After you get home from the hospital and can stay cocooned at that fortress you call a house."
"Just because security detained you that one time..." Adam laughed as he remembered Neil's long and inventive string of curse words.
"I think you deliberately gave me the wrong code!" Neil accused, not for the first time. He was positive Adam had set him up for that fiasco.
"That's outrageous." Adam winked at his father. "But you're right, Neil. I'm going to send out a tweet after we get home. And then there's a plan for the pictures. Or there will be soon."
"Jacob." Adam sighed. Loudly. Because if ever a situation called for a loud sigh it was this one. "I am... beholden to you."
"Beholden?" Kris repeated. "Is that an actual word?"
"Of course it is! Your vocabulary needs work. Pick up a book on occasion," Adam sniffed.
"I read. Books from, you know, this century." Kris winked at Danielle.
Jacob sighed. More loudly than Adam. Because someone, somewhere, sometime, had to be louder than Adam. "Adam. Kris. Lane. Danielle. Danielle's mom." He paused and looked around. "May I ask why I am in a delivery room?"
"Actually, it's not a delivery room. Once the mother delivers, she is moved to a recovery room. This is, therefore..." Adam held up his index finger. "A recovery room."
"Fanfuckingtastic, Mr. Pedantic."
"Language!" Kris cried out, shaking his finger. "There are ladies present."
"Speak for yourself, Kris." Elaine grinned as Lane and Dani laughed and then went back to speaking nonsense to her granddaughter.
"For the love of..." Jacob huffed. "Okay, whatever. What do you want from me -- and Adam, don't sing--"
"I wasn't. Honestly. That would have been sooooo obvious."
"And we all know Adam never wants to be obvious," Danielle said with a smirk.
"Actually, no. He's remarkably obtuse." Jacob smirked back, glancing at Kris, then back to Adam again. "So why am I in Danielle's recovery room?"
"Because we needed to talk to you asap and it seems highly unlikely anyone would overhear us in this room," Lane explained as she scrolled through Adam's Twitter feed, checking to see if any of the fan ninjas knew what was going on. She put nothing past them.
Adam nodded. "See? That makes total sense."
"And it's not your way of making me incredibly uncomfortable so I'll agree to something stupid just to get out of here."
Adam twirled an imaginary mustache. "My evil plot? Foiled! I tell you, foiled!"
"I'm not so into the foil anyway," Kris interjected. "Now, Saran Wrap? That I might be able to get behind."
"I get your behind." Adam leered, still twirling his imaginary mustache.
Jacob counted to ten. "Why. Am. I. Here?"
Adam clapped Jacob on the back. Perhaps strictly harder than necessary, but whatever. "First things first. As I was saying when I was so rudely interrupted, we are beholden to you for distracting the paps and tabloids a few weeks ago to avoid having the media poking around while--"
Dani interrupted. "While I was as big as a whale and as ornery as a badger?"
"I did not say that!" Adam protested.
"Me neither!" Kris shuddered.
Elaine patted Jacob's hand. Poor boy looked like he might have an aneurysm any minute. "Excuse them. They a little over-excited and haven't had much sleep."
"They're always like this!" Jacob glared at all of them. "What. Did. You. Want. From. Me?"
"Oh. That's right. I did have a reason." Adam shrugged and did his best to look innocent. And ignore Dani's giggles and Kris' eager grin. One day, he was going to see a Jacob that wasn't uptight. If he kept poking at him.
"Stop it. You're neither that innocent nor that stupid. You have a plan you want me to execute. Right?" Jacob asked, pointing at Adam and staring at Lane.
"I really need to get myself a new pr person who doesn't know me so well." Adam sighed. Deeply. "Okay, Jake--"
"It's. Jacob." Repressing a strong desire to smack Adam upside his smirking head, Jacob suddenly remembered Geoffrey telling him on several occasions that Adam's teasing was his way of showing affection and that Adam preferred to be friendly with the people he worked with. He shrugged. He didn't quite get the need, but this many years into it, he should probably just admit that when it came to Adam, Geoffrey did know best. And avoid making bets with Geoffrey.
"Sure. Jacob. Lane pointed out that it's not going to take long for some enterprising tabloid intern at TMZ to dig up the birth certificate and ascertain that I'm the father. So we need to beat the media to the punch."
"Of course. Which magazine do you want to sell the pictures to? People?" Jacob grinned suddenly. "I hope it's People because I already started negotiating with them for a cover and for Lee to take the photos. We'd have a cover with the three of you and the baby and if you all approve, some pics inside with all the grandparents and the nursery."
"Oh." Adam blinked in surprise. Sometimes he was so busy annoying Jacob that he forgot Jacob was a damn good pr guy. D'uh. "Well, thanks. People's the way to go, right?"
Jacob nodded. "They're the most respectable gossip magazine. And People hasn't done a cover with a gay couple and their baby."
Lane nodded. "Yes, that's true. They lost the Elton John Cover to Us Weekly, so they're no doubt quite eager to get an au courant pop star. And Us ended up with quite a bit of free promo due to that controversy stirred up by your fellow HogCallers in Gopher Flats, Kris."
"It's Razorbacks," Kris explained for the millionth time. "Controversy? Oh, I remember. A store in Arkansas banned the Us cover with Elton John, his husband and their baby. I think my brother might have gone on about it a bit, agreeing with the store, of course."
"That's right." Jacob smiled even more broadly. "So we can get more pr if your lovely home state does it again and even more pr if it's People they do it too."
"So you're saying bigotry has its uses?" Kris asked. "Well, glad it's good for something. Let's just hope it's not my father or brother out there leading the charge to hide my cover." When Jacob opened his mouth, Kris shook his head. "Wait. Let me guess, that'd be good pr too?"
"Totally. If your father and brother reject you, they're rejecting a cute little baby." Jacob shrugged. "Do you think your father will still refuse to acknowledge you now that there's a baby in the picture?"
"I can't imagine him changing his mind," Kris said tightly. "I'd really rather we not even ask him."
"Are you sure?" Jacob pressed. "If the writer gets quotes from him, we then have the opportunity to control the message, which is better than--"
"I don't want to." Kris shook his head and leaned into the warm touch of Adam's hand on his back. "I don't want any of his nasty attitude in the article about our baby. I just... No."
"Okay." Jacob hesitated, then patted Kris' hand because it seemed like he should or something when a guy was trying to hold in his anxiety the way Kris was. Boy really should've grown a thicker skin by now. He made a mental note to prep Kris later for the eventual fall out he was probably going to get. For now, back on task. "Okay, so your father and brother say something stupid. In terms of pr, that's not the worst result. That makes them look like boneheads and you three look like aggrieved but loving parents, confused as to why anyone would attack you."
"Who uses the word boneheads any more?" Dani asked Adam.
"I do." Kris shrugged.
Jacob groaned. "Oh dear god, I've spent too much time around you all. Next thing, I'll be wearing plaid. Adam, be a good guy and promise me you'll stage an intervention if that happens?" Jacob asked.
Adam burst out laughing. Who knew Jacob could tease? "I promise. Pinky swear?"
"If necessary." Jacob held out his hand and grinned when Adam crooked his pinky finger through his.
"Here's the thing..." Adam began.
Jacob groaned. "Okay, what is it?"
"I would rather our story be part of a longer piece on non-traditional families. I was reading that the idea of the so-called traditional family is not a reality of the majority of households in the US any more, but people, especially politicians, ignore that reality.
"Good god, you sound like your brother," Kris observed.
"That's quite scary." Lane shuddered. She was still not a Neil fan. Too much water under that bridge.
"Oh, Neil's not so bad these days," Adam defended, then turned toward the baby as she let out a small cry before yawning and going back to sleep.
"Program? Let's keep with it?" Jacob prompted. Turning to the person most likely to not be besotted with the baby, he asked, "Lane. Keep going."
Lane explained, "We were thinking we could use this story not only to control the presentation of the baby and the information to the media, but also place it in context."
"Normalize it?" Jacob tapped his fingers on his knee. "You know, that's actually a great idea. You get the cover of People -- great pr. You get the cover of People with a cute little baby -- who doesn't love babies --"
"You?" Lane retorted.
"I don't not love babies. I just don't get the fascination." Jacob shrugged. "They're way more interesting when they start to talk. Like my niece--"
"You have a niece?" Adam asked in surprise. What else didn't he know about Jacob? "Why didn't I know this?"
"Because unlike modern celebrities, my personal life isn't part of my professional life?" Jacob arched an eyebrow. "So, let's move on. You with a baby on People is even better pr than you alone."
"Because it makes me look normal," Adam surmised in a snide tone of voice.
"Yeah, define normal, Lambert. Isn't that your point? Asking what's normal? It's being re-defined de facto, but people and the laws aren't really acknowledging it. So your story will work in context. Your baby's family consists of three parents, only one of whom contributed DNA -- speaking of which, are you going to address from the beginning that you're not the biological father? I'd advise it because it would remove any power Brian has if you keep a secret."
Adam nodded. Jacob was giving good advice. Maybe he should listen more often. "Totally, you're totally right. Secrets have too much negative energy and power. Dani and I agree that we'll mention that another man was the sperm donor, but I'm the father."
"Good." Jacob nodded at both Dani and Adam. "Moving on. You donate your fee to a charity of your choice -- good pr. Your story is placed in context, thereby helping to negate any criticism of using your personal life for professional gain." Jacob nodded. "Excellent strategy.
Adam smirked, mostly because he knew it annoyed Jacob. "It's amazing what I can come up with with no sleep and plenty of coffee."
"Yeah, since Kris came into your life," Jacob pointed out. When Adam gave him a dirty look, Jacob pointed at him. "Don't raise that skeptical eyebrow to me, you dolt. Before Kris came into your life, it was a pr disaster. It was a good thing you didn't pay me by the hour or you'd still be in debt to my agency. At least when Kris came along, you weren't out there getting drunk and sleeping with guys with cameras." Jacob grinned as Adam stuck his tongue out at him. " Honestly, I feel like I should put Kris on the payroll. Or just make a large gift to the charity of his choice."
"What?" Kris squeaked. Damn it, he knew he squeaked and was he a man or a mouse or ... "Adam, I'm not-- Adam takes care of himself, I'm not responsible--"
"Chill." Dani kicked at Kris' hip where he was sitting on the edge of her bed. At the time, they had all just lived through the mess, struggling to help Adam keep his head above water, but now, looking back, Adam had really been a bigger fuck-up than they'd realized at the time. "Adam can take hearing the truth. He was a damn mess, emotionally and pr-wise until he bought the boy a muffin--"
"Coffee," Kris corrected automatically.
"Actually, I bought you both. Get the story right!" Adam teased, forcing down the irritation he had felt at Jacob's comments. Kris had undoubtedly seen that irritation because the boy could read him like a book. But... Dani -- who was exaggerating, of course -- had a point. And so did Lane's arched eyebrow that said she agreed with Dani and Jacob. Oh hell. Jacob had been right three years ago. Four years ago. He hated to admit it and... maybe that was why he'd hated Jacob years ago. For pointing out the truth. Okay, that was sobering. He probably owed Jacob an apology. Or two. "I'm sorry, Jacob. I'll find a way to make it up to you."
"Don't bother. Just don't have any more dick pics appear and I'll be good." Jacob relaxed. "Well, that and make happy music, which is way easier to sell and..." He shrugged. "Is evidence that you are actually happy, which is also good."
Kris contemplated Adam and Jacob. Jacob actually really did like and care about Adam. Who knew? "You know, Jacob. I just figured out something."
"That plaid is not the perfect fashion choice for every occasion?" Adam asked hopefully. "Please tell me that the halcyon moment has finally occurred and--"
"They make plaid tuxes, you know..." Lane looked down at her nails.
"They do?" Kris asked. "Where? Who?"
Adam grabbed Lane's hand. "I'll give you a bonus if you don't tell him!"
"Laney --" Kris smiled at her. "Who is it? I think I'd like to commission a special plaid little dress for the baby. With lots of ruffles. Plaid ruffles. Maybe a red and blue dress with yellow and green plaid ruffles."
Lane rolled her eyes as both Jacob and Adam snorted. Dani laughed. "You overplayed your hand, Allen."
"That's okay, Kris," Elaine interjected, handing a squirming squawking baby to Kris. He immediately began cuddling her and almost as immediately, the baby quieted. "See. You have good hands."
"Well, I've always said that!" Adam agreed. He smiled and walked over to stand behind Kris, wrapping his arms around him and the baby. "Perfect hands, in fact."
Kris looked up at Adam and smiled. What a perfect moment, holding the baby and Adam holding him and those eyes of his smiling and ---
FLASH!
Jacob chortled as he looked at the image on his screen. Kris and Adam looked stupid in love and were holding a cute baby. What more could he want? And it was just the kind of shot that article would need. "Perfect, indeed."
TBC here ---> Chapter 49: "In my experience, going home is the deepest wish of most refugees." -- Angelina Jolie