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Sometimes I wonder if it's just me, or maybe there's something very wrong with the way I see things, but it seems to me that the whole world is made up of freaks. What I mean by that is that every person I seem to encounter on my journey through life is either somewhat crazy, somewhat slow, or just lacking of any sort of good personal qualities. ( Read more... )

I haven't read over these memories in years now...and how i've changed! i can't even remember how it use to feel to be the person who typed all those silly journal entries in the middle of the night. but how i miss her.

it's nice to be clean though.

bored. sick. half sedated by the medication, but not enough to get some sleep. i gave up trying to sleep about an hour ago when i realized that it just wasnt gonna happen. i really dont know what's going on with my life right now. i know i'm a control freak, and i've already come to terms with all that in as many ways as i possibly could. but it ( Read more... )

damnit, just chipped the same tooth for the third time this month. now i can just see myself, a year from now, toothless and insane. yes, i've finally come to the conclusion that i'm prolly gonna go nuts sometime in the near future. and may be then i can go live in the desert and finger paint on rocks. i dunno, i've been thinking about the future a ( Read more... )

not home yet, but i soon will be. my head's just too heavy to sleep right now. i need to sit down and examin my thoughts in private. my plan is to spend the next week or so being as mellow as possible. maybe, once i'm fully sober and my mind's back to normal, i'll be able to straighten up my exact thoughts on all this.

...and so, kelly's one week hiatus comes to a close... and what a week it has been! now that it's finally friday, i can officially say that i have gone an entire week without a single waking moment of complete sobrity. starting either tomorrow or saturday, however, -- depending on what day i get back, -- i'm gonna get serious -- well as serious as ( Read more... )

how do u know when u can really trust someone? i wish that people didn't come with so much bagage. that each new relationship started on a blank slate. but that's just not how the world works. it would make me so happy if i could place all my trust in just one person, and be a hundred precent sure that i'm not making a mistake. but that's not gonna ( Read more... )

i need to get out of arlington. last nite was the last straw. and, as far as i know, he made his choice when he got up and walked away from me. that should make the choice more painless, if not easier. and as for my pride: if he couldn't make up his mind right there and then -- when i told him exactly how i felt -- then he really wasnt worth my ( Read more... )