i wish i knew if this was all in my head ( Read more... )

i cant even put into words what i feel right now.
i am completely miserable
i cant even step foot out of my bedroom without getting complelty screamed at by my mother. telling me how much of a fuck up i am.
its like i cant be in my house but im not allowed to leave. its horrible.

and things with trip.
im just driving myself crazy
but its like.. now that ( Read more... )

i fucked up.
so bad.
and im sorry.

i know i let you down but find comfort in knowing i didnt cheat on you.
im so sorry.

im so sick of like.. failing at something that ive tried to do for so long..im not completly failing but im not making any progress...
ugh.. i just suck today.

other people tell me that your acting. that this is alll an act and its not serious.
i just like you so damn much.

im sick of worrying about my heart.
 and about him.

roar.
changes?

for most of last year, i did things because people told me to or wanted me to, i didnt respect myself as a person and i ulitmatly started hating  myself ( Read more... )

its a new year.
this year, i want to be happy. i want to do things that make me happy and i want to make myself happy.
i want to be the person i want to be and i want to be loved for being that person

i want....

Trip sayed this. word for word.
                 "not all guys cheat, not all guys are like Josh"
basically almost made me fall over.

baby, i wish i could beleive you. i dont know why i get so fucking nervous and scared when it comes to you and other girls. i understand you have friends that are girls and you should, because i have guy friends. your ( Read more... )

fuck christmas..

my moms sick again.
very sick.

fuck christmas

so im pretty much done with trusting people in general. ive become to expect the very least in people, if anything.and im okay with that. in my mind, we are the lowest of the low. even the monkies we evolved from are better then us. i just have no faith in the human race as a species anymore, and it started with loosing faith in a few of the people ( Read more... )