COWER MORTALS

[capslockophile]

 I AM HERE BECAUSE HERE IS A GATHERING OF MANY MORTALS WHO ARE VERY INTRIGUING TO ME.  SOME I HAVE EVEN SEEN ON OCCASION.  OTHERS I HAVE NOT.

I WILL GIVE YOU ONE VERY IMPORTANT INSTRUCTION.

BE GOOD TO CATS.  CATS ARE NICE.

EDIT: DO NOT KICK OR STEP ON SNAKES.  THEY ARE NOT CUDDLY AND DO NOT PURR, BUT THEY HAVE FEELINGS, TOO.  ALSO, IF YOU DO THAT,

Comments

[downwardsaunter]

All the possible messages in the cosmos and you ask them to be nice to cats?

[capslockophile]

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT, CRAWLY.

[downwardsaunter]

Well, I guess so. Not like you couldn't have added 'and snakes' to the end of that or anything. Please don't call me that.

[capslockophile]

SNAKES DO NOT PURR. WHY NOT? IT IS YOUR NAME.

[eyesocketparty]

I have a cat, she's called McGuffin.

[capslockophile]

MCGUFFIN IS A GOOD NAME FOR A CAT. IT SOUNDS CUDDLY.

[eyesocketparty]

She is...big...talking...skeleton.

[capslockophile]

I AM DEATH. YOU MAY CALL ME BILL, ALEXANDER.

[docisin]

YOU

[capslockophile]

ME.

[docisin]

You gave me a fucking headache. You better not be trying to take over the world again or summat. I'll find something heavy to hit you with.

[capslockophile]

OH. THAT.
I HAD A BAD MUSHROOM.

[yay_unicorns]

Cats are adorable!
Hi again!!!

[capslockophile]

NOT YOU AGAIN. GO AWAY.

[yay_unicorns]

Don't wanna, Mr. Death - can I ride Binky again?

[capslockophile]

NO.

[thedashinghero]

.............

[capslockophile]

HELLO, ONE I SEE FAR TOO OFTEN.

[thedashinghero]

Yeah, anything we can do about that?

[capslockophile]

NOT YET, ONE I SEE FAR TOO OFTEN.

... THAT TAKES LONGER TO WRITE THAN IT DOES TO SAY. I WILL NOW CALL YOU BOE FACE.

AS I WAS SAYING. NOT YET. ONE DAY, BUT IT IS NOT NOW.