CMON JOBS BRING IT ON! I CHANGED MY VOICEMAIL TO SOMETHING TOTALLY NOT METALLICA JUST FOR YOU!! WHAT THE SHIT!!

my parents visited my apt. yesterday and theyre pretty sure i'm gonna die in a fire. they've figured out multiple ways for me to perish and how many different ways i won't be able to make it out of here alive. then they checked one of my outlets and agreed that the shotty workmanship would only add to the problem by contributing to an electrical ( Read more... )

polish sounds like it has a lot of unneccessary consonants. the sign above my apartment has a lot of Ks and Ss and Ys and Ws. my grandmother said that "the polish are a very clean people" but so far, the only thing i can tell, is that they really like seasoned meats. i'm gonna take my grandmother's word for it -- since she is german after all - ( Read more... )

for the 4 seconds i had before entering my therapists office, i saw NEW YORK MAGAZINE had an article about andrea dworkin, calling her FEMINISMS MALCOLM X. im too lazy to go to NYMAGz website so i'm just gonna have my mom bring me her copy, and might as well read the cover story about diane sawyer V. katie couric while it's in my possession ( Read more... )

today, whilst visiting a store of valuable dollar items, a very important lady tried to cut in line and a man of some sort of slavic origin thus spoke: "ONE COUNTRY - ONE LINE!" oh god, so fucking true.

I DECLARE WAR ON THE FORCE POST DEBIT.

moved all up in this WHAAAAT get in line and stop on by because my digs can only hold a maximum occupancy of 4.
LOVE YOU LOTS.

i've gotta make everything reeeallly dramatic apparently and post like ONELASTTIME before i shut down my computer//. fortunately i have nothing really dramatic to say. LATER??

im sitting on my floor because i have almost no furniture left. the furniture is in my new apt. but i am not because i'm not allowed to live there until june 1st. i insist on living on the couch in our living room until then, because i can't live in my mom's new version of my bedroom, even for 5 days ( Read more... )

I'M GONNA GIT ME SUCKA. i woke up at 5:30 with the cat scrapping at the undersides of my feet. that's his code for "BOWL OF FISHES, PLEASE" and so i obliged. tonight is our last night as a family at goethals and so i will haul together a list of things near & dear -- >> that ruled!!

420 COUCH JOKES

//peace