when all's said and done, i won't miss you
but right now, i'm in love with you.
--
lately, i can't stop thinking about you(s).
plural, always
love and hate, always.
--
my temperament makes life difficult

so, there's been a general lift in mood of late.
mostly because i've decided to stop thinking.

i refuse to look back, and the future is too murky.
so now, and only now
take me as i am/is/are, not was/were, not should/would/could.
because i could've, would've, should've done so much more but didn't
perhaps out of my own youthful stupidity or pure ( Read more... )

i have a weird sense of being told to sit still
and also a weird sense of going backwards.
or maybe this is the real forwards.

maybe like an imaginary string tying me up to this place.
and maybe it's all not true.
but i still have this weird feeling of my feet locking and my fingers slowing.
i'm really not used to being told what to do.


( Read more... )

it's 4:30 in the morning, and i can't sleep.
"we've all been the other girl at some point."
i suppose now that's very true.

and maybe it's because i'm just good with whatever
but i could see myself with you or without you just the same.
but you can't make me happy. i can't make you happy
i suppose now that's all very true.

went to see an old friend.. old friend sounds far to odd ( Read more... )

realizations.
looking up at shadows and reflections

we only see a fraction of what the world actually is.
like a reflection from a window of the outside
or like light pouring into a small window in the dark.

vba scripts, vba scripts ( Read more... )

this is the first time i think i've really been awake(fully conscious?)
of ...things, people, lectures, work, and... life?
and this is only snippets.
small openings of light through a dark blur.
memories occur as if recalling a dream.
perhaps this happened? did it? did i really experience all of that? how can i be sure?

when i'm on, everything ( Read more... )

hello world,
we're fine now.
we've grown up.
no more neuroticism.
no more fear.
enjoy.

so, people with william's syndrome are characterized by excessive sociability
some research is being done to see if that is associated with deficits amygdala functioning
the amygdala is known as the fear response center of the brain

so, if people are not sociable => oversensitivity/hyperactivity of amygdala?

i just had to put that out there.