Hunching, hunching little boy hiding pebbles in the attic - treasures nobody would want - later he would bring notes written in a language no one could ever read and leave them there, tribute - later still he would learn others, far away, had done things much the same as he - proof he felt of his own prowess - clearly  he was always magic ( Read more... )

Nadia's off for a day long trip to Great Escape theme park; it's a reward for all the middle school kids who made honor roll/high honor roll all year long. She's promised a friend she'll ride on a roller coaster - I'll be curious if that really happens. Harmony picked up her graduation cap for decorating purposes. Tim's helping a friend sand and ( Read more... )

Sometimes I tell people how I'm failing; very often I hear back about all the work I do and how that's not failing. It's rather like being complimented on your form while you're drowning. There's such a distance between what I'm doing and what I want to do. The only way to remedy this is to do the work I want to do. Understanding that doesn't mean ( Read more... )

Some people are real and some people are not. Some people are only real by association; they matter if we know them, or we know someone who does, or we look like them. Solidarity is situational. I am boggled by all the people who have the solutions to things like Orlando at their fingertips; they tell me if only an armed trained professional had ( Read more... )

I dreamed about a taxidermy lion, huge fierce and posed to pounce, and two taxidermy gazelles, one haughty and one afraid; they were brought to me by someone who knew they'd please me even though pragmatically, logistically there was no place/need for three large African taxidermy animals - woke from this strangely shaken; it was an intensely real ( Read more... )

Raw ( Read more... )

My favorite lie I tell myself is "Someday I'll be organized." Someday I will go through these boxes and boxes of notebooks, full of story fragments and interview notes and bits of captured conversation and transform them into finished, money making things. This is my retirement savings, I tell myself. The work I will do when I don't have work to do ( Read more... )

So it's been about five years since we stopped dealing with some family members; out of the blue, one of the youngest - a man I held in  my arms when he was a baby - showed up just to see how things have been. The stories he tells are full of death; one gone to diabetes, another pair suicides, brains blown right out. Them that are left aren't doing ( Read more... )

Tim was cooking sausages on the grill and I was working when we heard the beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. And our lives are so electronic; this could have been anything, but it wasn't; it was a smoke detector, and it wasn't ours. Outside, sound is different; I walk to my neighbor's driveway but it is uncertain. I turn back to look and see ( Read more... )

( Read more... )