its been a long time journal ( Read more... )

ive been a bit out of my mind lately. but really giddy. i feel free. i dont know what started this except maybe my letting go of what i cant have. i thought i was dying last night because my memories were moving backwards in time. it was so consecutive that i felt uncomfortable. i thought i was a goner. im strange i guess ( Read more... )

i dreamt last night that you were holding me. more like carrying me. through a park at night. you told me you cannot wait until the future and how excited you are to be with me then. i was holding you so hard and then you became a tree branch. i kissed your little leaves and began to cry when i realized you were gone.

i dont know whats come over

how fucking hard is it to call me when you say you will?

i have things to pull off my chest, wadd up into a ball, and throw at your face.
i dont want these feelings but theyre here so you deal with them

the wadd is in your court

if youd only fucking call me

i am a fevered maenad dancing through hillsides to a silent song.

feet so swift they fly above the ground as i move
wand dripping honey and milk
nimble hands effortlessly rip apart the flesh of prey
we descend beneath morning twilight
like a pack of the most beautifully deceptive locusts


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this is the first time in a long time that ive actually wanted a boyfriend ( Read more... )

new room
new jacket
new hair cut
better diet

change is good.

all i want is to go see some drag queens sing at a bar tonight but im in bed sick and moody and cranky.


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i was waking up to find out that my guitar and laptop and some cd's had been stolen by my cokehead roommate who had moved in the month before ( Read more... )

"I know it sounds really lame and corny, but he makes me want to be a better person ( Read more... )

listening to this fucking band... sooo awesome

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