Tonight, Carey Lowell, the Bond girl from Licence to Kill and wife of Richard Geere, looked me square in the face and asked, "Is that Erik? The kid who threw up all over my carpet?" "No," my friend Jacob lied. I kind of wish she had just slapped me.

Erik

So like, for some reason, this bull dyke teacher named Maren got the idea that it was okay for her to touch me today. Here's the story. So in my school, hanging on the wall, is the list of people who are on the honor roll and like high honors and shit. One of my very good friends named Zach is on high honors becuse he's the best student in the ( Read more... )

So like, I woke up about twenty minutes ago so I could go to school but then all of the transit workers were like, "Oh, strike." So now I think I'll just stay home. I'm missing like mad important tests and shit. Whatever. My cat came home last night. Stupid motherfucker. I hope he had a good time.

Erik

My cat of ten years, Mitten, is presumed dead. He snuck out of the house about two hours ago because my sister left the door open. My mother noticed he was missing about 30 minutes later. Everybody looked around for a while but nobody found him. There's a chance of him returning home during the night, but since this is Chinatown that chance is ( Read more... )

How fucking stupid are babies? Like, not only are they incapable of forming coherent sentences, the really little ones can't even walk. Like, what's the deal? Is it really that difficult? And what makes this even more frustrating is parents who take so much pride in how smart their babies are. If your baby is so fucking smart then how come he can't ( Read more... )

Okay, so I've decided to finally update my livejournal after three months because I can't sell my motherfucking camera and I'm really pissed off. I've been considering selling this camera for a while because I never really use it and my brother just uses it to take pictures of ugly German bitches. So I finally decided to sell it and buy some drugs ( Read more... )

I can't fucking believe this actually happened. Me and Marc are sitting on fifth avenue waiting for a drug dealer when these spicks pull up in the shittiest car I've ever seen in my life. They could have parked anywhere on the fucking block but for some reason they decided to park directly in front of us. So the driver gets out and runs down the ( Read more... )

Dear Ana ( Read more... )

Wow, it's really amazing how fucked up a person's life can become in such a short time. Six months ago I was like going to Stuyvesant. Now I'm like repeating the ninth grade. When I got back I spent the first couple of days fucked up on Adderall. What a great idea that was. It's just like in Bully. When Heather gets in the car she asks if they have ( Read more... )

I'm back in NYC. I can't explain how amazing it is to be home. Today was by far like the most amazing day of my entire life. It started out kind of shitty, because my mother is a cunt. For a week the plan had been for me to meet Emily at 12:00, after she got out of school. But then, on Monday, the day before I was supposed to come home this cunt ( Read more... )