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Retching All Over Life
Usually every Wednesday we go to the soon-to-be in-laws and have dinner. Yesterday my 'second mama' "wasn't feeling well"....I'll bet you anything it was diarrhea ( Read more... ) -
Check The Fridge
Yes, I'm asking for it. :)
Can't wait till he gets home! -
My Brain Just Cringed...
I checked my Wordpress Blog Stats just this minute (measly and pathetic though they are) and scrolled down to see if anyone found it by way of a search engine. Just curious, as always.
They did.
The term that brought them to my page:
"pick and eat your boogers real picturs"Glorious, isn't it ( Read more... ) -
Reappearing Momentarily
Miss me?
Sure you did. Fucking liar.
Mostly the well ran dry. Also I figure I'd give you a break from reading this nonsensical bullshit and giving yourself a headache.
But now I'm back. For the moment. So Uh-oh all over youThings have been quite quiet here, sitting in my little chair (it swivels!--yea, so what?). So I started to make a list ( Read more... ) -
Thought I'd Ask
Ever been fucked so good that you're afraid to put your socks back on, for fear of them just being knocked right off again?...
Just a question.And..
For the record, there are no "gentle" laxatives. In case you're wondering.
Note to self: Sue makers of Scotch tape. The Esteban Chord Chart won't stay put on the wall. -
Sucks for My Cheap Ass
I've got a huge bone to pick with Michelina's Lean Gourmet Roasted Red Pepper Spaghetti. It's delicious for $1.50, I'll give it that. The spaghetti is great, but for one thing: the green beans. I have a specific regimen when it comes to my green beans. They have to be French-cut. No, this isn't some ploy to be more sophisticated; basically I like ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Happy New Year
you cunt.
Take your fucking Christmas lights down.
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And She's in it for the Win
This particular gem was thought of when I wanted to show you how much of a bigger badass I am than you by showing off my brand new camera: How do I take a picture of my new camera?
-Oh! Put it on a 10-second delay and move it so it takes a photo of itself.WHAT???
Turns out I don't win any Badass award, just one for "Most Jackass Thought. Ever ( Read more... ) -
I've Got Nuts On My Mind
Cashews are my favorite nut. Used to be peanuts, but those are so two years ago. Plus, they're not even real nuts. Go figure.
I can't figure out whether I like cashews because of their high salt content or because sometimes they're shaped like tiny little man-packages. Possibly both.
( Visual Aid )
