• If I hit my birthday pinata and a little Mexican girl fell out of it, I'd probably never have another pinata again. Or a birthday for that matter. Heart attack. At 24.
• A shark "bigger than a helicopter" killed a woman. My question? Why are sharks always getting grouped together with helicopters? Because, as everyone knows, sharks hate helicopters.
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OK, I admit it. This past Saturday, I attended a celebrity/dog fashion show.

It had flamethrowers, a lit-up (by lights, not fire) hot-air balloon, dogs with hats and an open bar. I was double-fisting Crown and Cokes and felt like I'd just gotten off the boat from Chino. Yeehaw, I was ready to kick it with Lassie and Air Bud. Unfortunately...I was ( Read more... )

Just when you think you could never laugh harder at "The Simpsons."

They had to go and put this glorious TV theme at the beginning AND ending of last night's premiere ep.

AND TOTALLY REDEEM THEMSELVES!! (Kidding. It's my most favoritest show.)

I've got it cranked to 11 in my cubicle vicinity.

Honorable mention for craptacular TV theme: SBTB:The ( Read more... )

I love "The O.C."

Watching it gives me intense joy. Which is directly opposite most of my television-watching experiences. Watching an average TV show is like looking at Baskins-Robbins ice cream through the glass. Watching "The O.C." is like going behind the counter, pushing the 17-year-old B-R worker aside, opening the glass door and sticking ( Read more... )

I just read in someone's post the RS lyric, "You can't always get what you want. You get what you need." Which I never really quite understood. What if I want and need a candy bar? Do I still get it? I'm confused. No matter. On to the topic at hand. Elections.

I never ran for a regular student election in high school. I was nominated to the student ( Read more... )

Ugh. I'm never drinking again. At least for a week. But, Halloween 2004 = Cooleyhighharmony.

Beer pong, adult contemporary music, Canter's, cigars, girls in lingerie wanting to converse, arguments about which CA Prop is sexier, Prop 68 or 70...who could ask for more?

Bring on Thanksgiving. But for now...

( Four Guys Who Heart Halloween )

Happy Pre-Halloween!

• It's Halloween in our office building today. That means we have about a dozen Halloween-themed rooms and there's parents with little kids EVERYWHERE. I just saw a 5-year-old with a Michael Myers costume in the bathroom. Scariest thing ever. But then I saw a little kid cry after coming out of the Shrek-themed room. Morale went ( Read more... )

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Haha. I win. In life and contests.

But seriously. I just received word that I am going to be 1 of 25 spending this evening having "A Conversation With Tom Cruise."

This is from the guy who quotes quite often from "Top Gun," "Risky Business," "Days of Thunder" and "Cocktail." But, on the other hand, a part of my soul died when I witnessed "The Last ( Read more... )

So, it's commercial break of Game 7 of the NLCS (Go 'Stros!).

We're drinking Kentucky bourbon shots at a time and trying to figure out Halloween costumes. My frontrunners include the Daniel LaRusso shower costume for KK1 or Redneck Trucker Zombie. So my female friend recommends going to Analogia to see who I look like. Then, I really don't have to ( Read more... )