Friend: "You've already lost your cell phone? We just got here!"

Me: "Ummm...it must have slipped out of my pocket in the cab over."

Friend: "Well, here. Use mine. Just call your cellphone and see if the cabdriver answers."

(RING RING)

Me: "Hello, is this a cab driver?"

Cabdriver: (with heavy accent) "Yes. Yes. I am cabdriver."

Me: "Mr. Cabdriver, ( Read more... )

So the company Christmas party is tonight. I have to wear a over-21 wristband. I hope it doesn't clash with my anti-bully wristband, which has replaced my Kabbalah bracelet, which in turn replaced my watch, which didn't work anyways. So whatever.

But, truth be told, office parties are the weirdest time of the year. For one moment in time, we all ( Read more... )

Sometimes, you just feel like the Livejournal goat.


( Read more... )

I'm in deep doodoo.

I have a book out from the Los Angeles Public Library that is waaaaaay overdue. I'm talking, like, you'll-ask-me-to-tell-you-and-i'll-whisper-it-in-your-ear-and-you'll-gasp-really-loud overdue. By my calculations, I could have bought the book at least three times by now. And then bought a gold-plated bookmark to keep my slowly- ( Read more... )

OK. We officially have a winner for "Worst Way to Die." Ever.

Using the worst way to die equation, that rates a solid 10. No contest.

I once took a lava lamp to show-and-tell when I was in kindergarten. It ended up being a lost cause because my teacher, Ms. Baumgartner, didn't allow me sufficient time to give the "globulation procedure" to develop ( Read more... )

I think my review for "Alexander" can best be covered in time-coding (like an episode of 24):

3:55 I buy a big damn Coca-Cola and sit down in the perfect center of Arclight Cinema's Cinerama Dome (because I like my movie-watching chi to be centered).

4:08 Movie starts. Credits look good. One thumb and a Coca-Cola up.

4:10 Credits end.

4:11 Movie ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

The fact that Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson apparently can't hang out together without me in the near vicinity is starting to freaking freak me out.

I see them at Whole Foods on Fairfax. I see them at Coffee Bean on Melrose. I see them at my favorite Sunset Blvd. Mexican establishment, El Compadre, while sipping my fav-o-rite flaming Margaritas.

And ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Seriously. Can anyone say best Christmakkuh gift ever??

Someone, for real, buy this and we can all hang out together. We'll probably all get laid too. Bring your friends.

I'm contemplating buying this for my mom. She's been wanting to visit LA lately. I'd do it just to see the look on her face.