Once again I have found my faith and this time I think it is for real. Now I know what the bible means by "blind man can see" Because I was truly blind about the things I was doing and the people that I was hurting. I have been attenting survices everyweek now and even a special bible class. I feel rejucinated, like I have a whole new hope that ( Read more... )

I can't attend emily's wedding... This is terrible. Emily has been a close friend for a long time and I am never going to get to see her married again. I wish I wasn't such a bum. All my friends are moving on in life, but I'm stuck in this sess pool. Going nowhere and doing nothing ( Read more... )

So what's up with all the snow? At least it's not windy as hell today like it has been for the past few days ( Read more... )

so everybody is happy, and everybody has friends. They hang out together, invite each other to do stuff, visit, wish them well, and all sorts. Then there is me. Chelsea told me, best friends forever... It's like nobody cares to hang with me because I can't drop on a dime to go somewhere. I have put my whole life on hold to make sure that ( Read more... )

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I rarely write in a journal anymore especially this one. It's all the same. Every day my luck worsens. My car doesn't work. My cell charger quit so now my cell is dead, and I have a terrible cold from walking in the windy rain. I can't sleep much because I am worried about the upcoming trial, and not having a car. Mys tomach hurts alot. I ( Read more... )

I really miss my friends. Especially Emily. I watched the SW tape we made at the show in 2004 and we were so tight and I was having a lot of fun. Now I just stay inside, partially because I am embarrassed and ashamed that I have gained weight and also because I don't have the money that I used to and I pretty much can't afford my old friends. ( Read more... )

SO I guess this weekend will be busy. So will next, with the concert and all, but I'm not sure what is going on as far as the concert I should probably make some phone calls while I'm at school.

I have been feeling low, withdrawn and quiet. I don't talk to my friends, or anybody else for that matter. I have no urge to do anything right now. I am completely lost at what I want to do with my future and which path to take, but I can't talk to my mother about it. I want company because I'm lonely. But I'm lonly and don't want company. I ( Read more... )

I again am depressed about being a huge failure. But when has my attitude changed from that. I have really been hauling ass for school, at first I was relaxed about school but realized that my usual whit wasn't going to pass me. So I have been doing overload and overboard. Swimming in papers and conferences with teachers. Scratching at weed ( Read more... )