Instead of loving someone you can’t be with, fictionalize them. Reimagine your encounters as dreams: the kind you wake up from, shake off, disregard; not the kind you journal, analyze, relay relentlessly to bored friends. Treat them like the subject of a poem that tickles you in the chest cavity but only very slightly, a poem you copy paste publish ( Read more... )

Why did i mess it up? Why the fuck am i so fucking dumb.
i destroyed smth so perfect,
smth which is so important to me. 
i really hate myself so much now. I need to get all these fucking thoughts out of my mind.

I hope i get another chance. I need another chance. I cannot let it go, i cannot let you go.

 its been so long since i last came here.
and i realise, my post have not been locked for quite awhile.
but i guess, it doesn't matter.
i don't use this space to rant anymore.
HAHA.

So i hope everyone here has been good.

And, i'm actually really thinking of shutting this space down.
 

 i've only worked for a month and
i don't feel like working anymore.
it feels like my one month job took all my 
energy, strength and time away.

i think i need to rest for 2 months
before i'll start looking for another job.
And i hope my one month pay 
+ my cny kaching 
will be enough to fund me 
for the next 2 months.

but, if i were to spend like how i did ( Read more... )

 this is bad.
i spent a day at home.
watched glee, eat, eat and eat.
because i felt fat, i decided to go for a jog+ steambath to burn more fats.

when i'm hungry, i eat chocolate.
when i'm sad, i eat chocolate.
when i'm bored, i eat ice cream.
aiya, i'm basically eating my life away :/
and its so bad because it making me gain weight
and i think, my brain is ( Read more... )

have not been updating this space for the longest time and the last time i was here, i was still in the midst of A's.
maybe, i should start updating this place?

maybe i will. i miss this place too much to delete it :)

 have not been updating this space for a very long while.
one of the main reason is because bb doesn't have an LJ app.
40 ++ days till A's.
i really cannot wait till it's over.
sigh.
 

 the past few days have been very horrible.
i don't show it because , people judge, people talk.
i'm thankful for J and E.
and it's kinda ironic its them i turn to.
though they didnt help much, 
but i'm grateful for them.

3 more months till A's. 
i need to focus
and i wish all that happened just now
was nothing but a nightmare.

okay, goodnight.
need to ( Read more... )

 when i was a little girl
i used to read fairy tales,
in fairy tales you meet prince charming and
he's everything you ever wanted.
in fairy tales that bad guy is very easy to spot.
the bad guy is always wearing a black cape
so you always know who he is.
then you grow up and realise that
prince charming is not as easy to find as you thought.
you realise the ( Read more... )

Ever have that one person in your life that 
you just can't give up on, the one person
that can screw you over time after time,
yet you always seem to give them another
chance? And no matter how many times
you say this is their last one, you know it's
a lie because there's always just one more
waiting for them. the person you know 
you're better off ( Read more... )